meltdowns

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when the kids donot get to let it out they hold it all in at school and when we get the kids the meltdowns helps.
give your child a few mintures to run out side to jump to play and then set the time to do home work it might

Yeah, and I hate it when somebody says "I hear what you're saying" but when it's clear to me that they've no intention of listening, really listening, to what I am saying.

I, like most other Aspies, have meltdowns, but reading this topic makes me think of something else that I have:

Shutdowns.

For example, being asked a question in class when I was in school. If I didn't immediately know the answer, I'd get embarassed and self-aware and go into shutdown mode. I'd try and try to think of the answer, but my brain would just not want to work. I'd know it was happening and focus on my frustration with that, which put the answer even farther from my grasp. Needless to say, I never liked being called on in class and I think most of my teachers picked up on that.

Yeah, I used to get these at times and get them now. If there is pressure to give a fast answer, I can't remember what to say and have to ask for time to think about it. Most people are good but a few get impatient and think I'm slow-witted.

I think, meltdown was a completely normal term for a child who lost his/her temper and emotional self-control.

In a meltdown there is no ability to control or change the situation. You have to pick up on the signs of pending overload and mitigate the situation before the meltdown. It won't always be possible, but it is the only way.

Once the meltdown has hit the best you can do is reduce any potentially aggravating stimulation, and apply any potentially mitigating stimulation. Holding my son tight used to help him get out of the meltdown faster.

Fortunately for my son, he was able to identify a fairly clear pattern in his meltdowns and adjust his life to avoid situations that would allow that level of negative stress to build up. Not everyone can do that; it depends on what the triggers and how quickly the overload will accelerate. Our job as parents is to learn the patterns and what mitigating protocols work, and then teach them to our children so they can take over responsibility for mitigating situations on their own.

Part of that process will be developing absolute trust with your child to communicate his needs and have you take him at his word. There are ages and stages of childhood where it just won't work but, long run, he needs to know that if he tells you he has to leave a situation, you will help him leave it immediately. Your son will have to take the process seriously enough not to abuse the privilege. The same thing will apply at school; we called it the escape clause and it was written into all of my son's IEPs. He could leave any classroom at any time and go to designated safe place. He did not need permission, although he was able to let the teacher know he was leaving and, so, that was a requirement.

If your child is young, it is very important for you to realize that learning the mitigating and prevention process should take precedence over pretty much everything. You will be late for appointments. You will be late for school. Your child will leave the house with inappropriate outfits. In exchange, you will help your child develop a skill that allow him to embrace opportunities in life that may be closed to him if he cannot learn how not to have meltdowns. Not all ASD individuals will be able to take charge of their own mitigation, but if you think your child can, it will be worth it.

The best description of a meltdown I've read still is the one in Tracker's book, but it looks like he's taken his website down . I'm sure you can find more recent books with equally excellent descriptions; take a look at the recommended reading list in the sticky thread at the top of the board.

This isn't losing one's temper. It is overload and a loss of the ability to process anything. You can end a tantrum with an enticement. You cannot end a meltdown that way and may, in fact, make it worse.