How to tell your Aspie kid?

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I wouldn't exactly recommend this approach, but here's what happened for us. My son overheard us mention Aspergers at a few doctors and therapy apps. He started commenting that he didn't want to be in the social skills class because "some of those kids have Aspergers.". I was on the verge of telling my husband that we needed to talk to DS6 about AS, when DS piped up one day,"Do I have Asperger's?". I replied,"Yes, you do.", then read him [u]What It Means to Be Me (An Aspergers Kid Book)[\u]. He asked me to read it a second time, then said, "that book didn't help me at all!". I imagine it will be an ongoing discussion.

Well an excuse for what, it is a fact that having autism will interfere with things.....to ignore that it will do that and seeing any acknowledgement of autism causing difficulties as an excuse is not the best idea either. It can actually hurt a lot when you try to explain why certain things are difficult and everyone just dismisses it as excuses.

My parents never told me. For me, this worked out very well: I got the services for it, but it never came to define who I am, or what should be expected of me. Obviously, all children and parents are different, and I'm not suggesting that everyone should do this. However, I think it is important for make sure they understand that they don't have to be a certain way once they have that label. They can do anything they set their mind to. They may have to work harder at it, but they can.
They are different... Not limited.

she will eventually find out that there is something wrong and will probably ask you. i asked my mom if i had it when i was about 5 and she said yes. just let the time come,

Thank you. This post made my day. Very funny and very relevant.

This can be very difficult. We are an open family and my 11 y.o. DS has known from the first day when we suspected until he was finally diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Nevertheless, whenever I watch some movie or read something out loud to my husband, or show my son some book or video clip so I think he will relate, his response is "That kid is just weird." He totally has no clue and will deny totally that he is the same way. He will just point out the minuscule details of how he is different from that kid. Still, he has started talking about having Asperger's and things he can do because of Asperger's and things that are hard because of Asperger's so that is a start. I think it is a process, and the balance of understanding the ins and outs of the diagnosis and the personal issues of it all takes time, insight, development, and lots of support.

Eureka-C, I don't think that is that uncommon. My son can see the difference in behaviors of those that aren't as high on the spectrum as he is, yet cannot recognize differences in what he may be doing or perceiving versus how someone NT would react or act in the same situation.

The best way to tell a child would probably be to focus on the positive traits. Like tell your daughter that her brain works differently, which makes her extra smart. Asperger's is a good thing, because society needs people who can think outside the box.

MY son does this too! He does it in the privacy of his own room and ONLY in there with the doors closed. Sometimes the voices freak me out and he can get loud so we have to tell him to settle down. I feel bad that it embarrasses him so I make I tell him that it's nothing to be embarrassed about, some people paces, some bite their nails, some shake their legs, some SMOKE! He runs around making noise. My dad hates it. It stresses him out to "see him like that" but I tell him that it's normal for my son so my dad just needs to get over it.

My son is now 16 and he's known for a long time. We have 2 other NT kids and my Aspie is very picky about his food. So often times 4 of us are having one meal and I have to make a different for my Aspie. So my NT kids would ask why HE got to have pizza while they have to eat fish. So I would say that because he has Asperger's he has an aversion to lots of foods that they have no problem eating. So of course everyone would ask questions and I answered them honestly. Of course it was a big joke "ass burgers". But now that my son is older he asks what he was like when he was little, how was he diagnosed, etc. And I'm honest. I tell him what a nightmare it was when we didn't know he has Asperger's, how he progressed and how I would never want to change him. It makes him who he is, it makes him such an avid reader, a great student, a compassionate loving person and not your typical pain in the @ss teenager. He doesn't want anyone to know he's an Aspie because he knows how other teens can be. But when someone (like my dad) tells him "you need to be like this or stop doing that" he says very confidently, "this is who I am so you just need to deal with it". LOVE THAT!! ! I've also listed all the famous people who are thought to have Asperger's. Makes him kinda proud.