hoegaandit wrote:
From an old fashioned dad in his fifties of a 17yo diagnosed first ADD and then as on the autistic spectrum, I was inclined like your husband to get my son to toughen up and just deal with things as you would a normal kid.
I don't think the evidence in my life shows that that works. If I get angry with my son it just inclines him to clamming up at best and a meltdown at worst. (Echoing Austin Power's father "If you got an issue here's a tissue" and laughing loudly did not quite cut it). He has actually been opening up quite a bit to a school counsellor, from what I can see, so perhaps a third party like that can avoid the issues he may have with opening up to family (initially at least).
I think we just need to accept that it is a great deal more difficult for an autistic child to cope with the real world, and a great deal more work is required for an autistic child/teenager/young man or woman. There are a lot of resources on this site. A book called "Strange Kid" available on the net gives a good perspective from an autistic person's point of view.
I don't know that the goal of NT upbringing should be toughen up and just deal with it either, I imagine one does not have to be autistic to have their feelings hurt by parents who never offer comfort and just 'here's a tissue ha ha ha!' when they express worries, concerns. But its cool you where able to recognize that was 'not' working and try a different approach that is something i can respect.
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We won't go back.
29 Mar 2012, 4:32 pm
