is there such a thing as being too social?

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Mummy_of_Peanut
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25 Apr 2012, 4:14 am

Eureka-C wrote:
It sounds like what you are talking about her is introversion/extroversion.
I don't like to contradict, but I'm not sure it is the same. My daughter is just like the OP's son, but she's also an introvert. She needs her alone time, to re-energise (that's the definition of an introvert). She often spends her playtimes alone, but not lonely, yet still manages to approach other kids or adults, without any qualms and her presence can be quite overwhelming for some. A child who does things like mine and the OPs could be an extrovert, but could just as easily be an introvert.

I'm the same (now that I've overcome my shyness). When I'm in a small group, I'll do most of the talking and I'm usually the one to initiate conversation with a stranger. But, I need time alone, and how. I spend the majority of the day on my own, not even a phonecall for company. That's just the way I like it, as I really am an introvert. But, then when I go out to collect my daughter from school, I'm the one who appears to be the extrovert in the playground, approaching strangers (not in a weird way) and demonstrating a Zumba move or two, to my friends, who missed the class (as an adult, this gets a laugh, but, as a child, would cause me to be picked on).


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MMJMOM
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25 Apr 2012, 5:31 am

Mummy_of_Peanut wrote:
Eureka-C wrote:
It sounds like what you are talking about her is introversion/extroversion.
I don't like to contradict, but I'm not sure it is the same. My daughter is just like the OP's son, but she's also an introvert. She needs her alone time, to re-energise (that's the definition of an introvert). She often spends her playtimes alone, but not lonely, yet still manages to approach other kids or adults, without any qualms and her presence can be quite overwhelming for some. A child who does things like mine and the OPs could be an extrovert, but could just as easily be an introvert.
I'm the same (now that I've overcome my shyness). When I'm in a small group, I'll do most of the talking and I'm usually the one to initiate conversation with a stranger. But, I need time alone, and how. I spend the majority of the day on my own, not even a phonecall for company. That's just the way I like it, as I really am an introvert. But, then when I go out to collect my daughter from school, I'm the one who appears to be the extrovert in the playground, approaching strangers (not in a weird way) and demonstrating a Zumba move or two, to my friends, who missed the class (as an adult, this gets a laugh, but, as a child, would cause me to be picked on).


EXACTLY THIS!! ! My son LOVES to be alone, and in the house. In fact, most days I have to bribe him to go out and come to the park with us, he would much rather play video games, watch a movie or hang out with his dad on the couch watching tv. When we get home from the park, my son NEEDS to decompress alone. He will often get his iPad and sit on the couch with a blanket over his head. But, when out in stores, supermarkets, drs offices and parks, he will talk and talk to anyone and everyone. Part of me feels like it is an anxiety response, not knowing what to do...unless he has a vidoe game with him (not at the park) then he will just play his game and not talk to anyone.


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07 May 2012, 4:46 pm

This sounds like a lack of understanding of the boundaries between different kinds of relationships. When my dd was younger, she had no sense of the difference between a stranger, an acquaintance or a friend. She seemed to feel that everyone was a potential friend. It was sweet, and absolutely heartbreaking when people betrayed that trust. A therapist helped her by defining different categories of friendship and how friendships developed. That helped quite a bit. We also talked about the kind of specific behaviours that showed that someone was a "good friend" or someone who she should just be polite to. At 12, she is much better able to talk about the variations in friendships, and understand notions of loyalty, kindness etc.
J.