Leaving the parent board for awhile

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I hate all the med references, too. I never know how to react to it, because on the one hand I feel strongly about trying to avoid meds, but I don't want to offend anyone who uses them. That and you never know what the future may bring, comorbid-wise and I feel like I should not really get into these conversations too much. Then again, if the non-med people don't get into it and express reservations, then it makes it look like this board is more pro-med than it is.

I think one one of these recent threads referenced (and I forgot who said it, so my apologies for not giving credit) the statement that, "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." That is so true. Medical professionals are so quick to suggest meds, because that it what there is, and they really get frustrated/condescending/irritating when questioned on this.

I feel sorry that Lilomeme left WP for this reason. There are plenty of pro-med voices around everywhere else. WP should not be perceived as not being welcoming to non-medicating parents.

Again. it isn't that I necessarily think that in some cases it might not be needed. I am not a doctor. So, I am not being judgy about anyone who uses that as a tool. I don't live in anyone else's circumstances but my own. I really just wish society would not push it so hard, and so quickly. I wish our kids were given more room to be who they are, inconvenient, though it may be to the schools, etc.

I think part of the discomfort lies in this. When meds are recommended even on this board, I think it makes me feel sometimes, like I am some freakish, fringe. hold-out, even though I do feel like we are doing right by our son by not medicating. I don't think I am articulating this well, but I guess I agree that WP should not make anyone feel that way.

let's settle down a bit. no need to call anyone a troll or dramatically show them the door. medication is a hot button issue (heck AUTISM is a hot button issue), but let's try to keep the thread as respectful and cool as possible please.

YES we certainy do need to show both sides. It is important to put her story out there becaseu if it happens to 1 child, that is ONE child too many. Again, I medicate my son. I know what meds I WONT put him on, and of coure I know that all might change as he gets older. I will not judge anyone for their decision to medicate or not., or what meds to use. As the saying goes, "if you met one child with autism, you know one child with autism" what works for one might not necessarily work for others.

Again, I AGONIZE about giving my son his SSRI. EVERY TIME I give it to him, I think...what is this doing to his brain, liver, kidneys, etc...but without them he is miserable, his quality of life stinks. What does a parent do? Watch their child suffer severe anxiety attacks, ridgid OCD rituals where they cant leave the house without performing....watch thier child suffer when on outings out with family, at a birthday party...what is the point? So, I wont medicate him now, and his anxiety and OCD can cause him to kill himself in the future. Heck I know I wanted to die when I was depressed due to my severe anxiety. Honestly, the closest I ever came to suicide was in the throngs of my severe anxiety. I honestly would have rather been gone then live one more day like that. And meds helped me. And I overcame, and I no longer need meds. THIS is the exact hope for my son.

I am also upset by posts that talk about medicating a child-espcially when I read about a small child (6-7 years old) who is put on risperdol. But, I understand each parent has their own evolution in understanding and everyone is walking their own path. I see it much more often on other boards and will write out a long response only to delete it, because really people are going to come to their own conclusions.

I medicated my daughter because I thought Drs knew best. We had our own "horror story". (though not near as bad) I think if that (what happened to liloleme) happened to my child I would feel as disgusted as liloleme. I don't begrudge her that she can't just watch as people continue to listen to the Drs who don't understand our children one bit.

This is a very touchy subject for me because I have been on both sides of the issue,

And my first point is it's not up to a bunch of anonomyous forum posters to decide what is and is not appropriate medication usage. I felt very judged when I was in the midst of it, and I think that is unfortunate. I can't possibly decide what is right or wrong for you - but I can share our story.

The research I did (Harvard study) showed that kids that need medication are 50% more likely to self medicate if not provided the medication they need.

Great - so what that means is if my kid doesn't need meds, and I introduce them, he will most likely become an addict (my belief). BUT, if he needs them and I don't medicate him, he will become an addict.

Just frikkin teriffic!

Then you go the the Dr and don't know what's wrong with your child - there's no diagnosis, just a bunch of symptoms that no one knows what to do with. They tell you that if you don't try meds, the symptoms will develop neural pathways and become much more fixed, and difficult to change.

So now you're telling me that if I don't medicate my kid, he will more likely become an addict, and he will contimnue having raging, violent meltdowns.. Basically, saying that if we dont try the meds he's doomed.

So we try the meds....and they don't work.

So we stop the meds and try other things, and they kinda work.

The journey sucked, and every family here is doing the best they can for their kids.

Lilome is grieving her son, I can see how this issue would hurt, and I understand her need for a break. I'm not going to personalize it.

I think that if we stick to our experiences and stay away from telling each other what is or isn't right for them, we should be fine.

**sigh**

Is there really a need to leave a board in such a dramatic way? I've seen this sort of exit many times on various boards dedicated to various topics and they always degrade into flame wars like thsi.

Theres a lot of different medications that do completely different things, so I think its hard to say medication is bad. My son takes no medication (other than Becotide for Asthma) because we haven't had a requirement yet, but I reserve the right to seek medication out if I felt it became necessary - for him. I have thought about it. Medicine is undoubtedly of benefit when used correctly and where there is a genuine need.

As an aside my son is more classic autism, he is non-verbal and not toilet trained at 5..I wonder is it more common for people to medicate AS children than children with classic autism? Just wondering.