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fiction / reality...fantasy world AS girl?

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cubedemon6073
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04 May 2012, 7:46 am

SylviaLynn wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
SylviaLynn wrote:
My daughter does this too. NT 3 year olds don't usually get the difference between reality and fantasy until 4 or so. She's 10 and kind of gets it.


I have a question for you. What exactly is reality, the essence and nature of reality? How can one tell what reality is supposed to truly be?

Um....that kind of discussion is a special interest of mine. My short answer is that reality is a tenuous concept at best. I know very well that her reality is different from my reality and just as valid. It's nice when we can find areas where we share realities. If that makes sense.


Personally I believe there is one reality but there are multiple ways we can view it. It is like looking at an apple from multiple points of view.



momsparky
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04 May 2012, 8:19 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:
I have to clean the toilet myself sometimes. The trash has to be taken out as well. I am the primary person who handles that. It is one of my chores around my household. My wife will not touch the trash at all so I have to do it. Eventually, I do have to clean our trash cans. Who handles the trash at where you live?


That's a good system. We tend to share the trash chore, DH does it when it's too heavy for the rest of us, DS collects and aggregates the "small" trash, and I usually do the recycling and kitchen waste; it's actually a fairly flexible system considering we're a family of Aspies.

I do stink at housework. (PS. If you're reading Socrates, you are essentially taking a philosophy class...)



cubedemon6073
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04 May 2012, 1:38 pm

momsparky wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
I have to clean the toilet myself sometimes. The trash has to be taken out as well. I am the primary person who handles that. It is one of my chores around my household. My wife will not touch the trash at all so I have to do it. Eventually, I do have to clean our trash cans. Who handles the trash at where you live?


That's a good system. We tend to share the trash chore, DH does it when it's too heavy for the rest of us, DS collects and aggregates the "small" trash, and I usually do the recycling and kitchen waste; it's actually a fairly flexible system considering we're a family of Aspies.

I do stink at housework. (PS. If you're reading Socrates, you are essentially taking a philosophy class...)


Is your DH an aspie as well? I guess you are right about me reading Socrates.

It seems like you all have a system for doing the trash. Everyone has an assigned role when it comes to the trash. I bet everyone has an assigned role when it comes to household chores am I correct?



momsparky
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04 May 2012, 1:57 pm

None of us adults have the benefit of a diagnosis, but I can't imagine it any other way.

We do have assigned roles, but we're flexible about it, so sometimes it's someone's "job" and sometimes it just needs to be done so somebody does it - "somebody" usually means either DH or I. We aren't the best housekeepers, but we get enough done that our house isn't a health hazard and it only takes a few minutes to make it company-ready.



cubedemon6073
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04 May 2012, 5:40 pm

momsparky wrote:
None of us adults have the benefit of a diagnosis, but I can't imagine it any other way.

We do have assigned roles, but we're flexible about it, so sometimes it's someone's "job" and sometimes it just needs to be done so somebody does it - "somebody" usually means either DH or I. We aren't the best housekeepers, but we get enough done that our house isn't a health hazard and it only takes a few minutes to make it company-ready.


Awesome!! !! I have had to learn to be more flexible myself. In first grade, I was a lot more rigid than I am now. My trials and tribulations forced me to be more flexible. Your child may have to experience some trials and tribulations in order to be more flexible.

One thing that experience has taught me is that sometimes some things are just givens a person will have to just accept in life.



momsparky
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04 May 2012, 6:02 pm

SylviaLynn wrote:
Um....that kind of discussion is a special interest of mine. My short answer is that reality is a tenuous concept at best. I know very well that her reality is different from my reality and just as valid. It's nice when we can find areas where we share realities. If that makes sense.


Forgive us for our short hijack of your thread...please be aware, in case it didn't come across, that cubedemon6073 and I have great respect for one another and debate this sort of way all the time.

And I understood you completely.



cubedemon6073
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04 May 2012, 6:44 pm

momsparky wrote:
SylviaLynn wrote:
Um....that kind of discussion is a special interest of mine. My short answer is that reality is a tenuous concept at best. I know very well that her reality is different from my reality and just as valid. It's nice when we can find areas where we share realities. If that makes sense.


Forgive us for our short hijack of your thread...please be aware, in case it didn't come across, that cubedemon6073 and I have great respect for one another and debate this sort of way all the time.

And I understood you completely.



SylviaLynn, I did not know that I offended or wronged you. I humbly apologize as well. If you don't mind will you do me a favor? If I do any offense or wrong to you please directly let me know. My thoughts are not as compartmentalized as most people. This means I will sometimes think that b is related to a when it is only remotely related to a. Again, Please forgive me.



momsparky
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04 May 2012, 7:33 pm

The irony of me checking this thread just as DS says to me angrily "WHY can't I be Batman!!" as I start to explain, he starts to melt down, so I let it go. I know he knows he can't really be Batman, but I'm not sure how to handle this other than ignore it.

Seeing me on the computer, he says "Are you writing down reasons why I can't be Batman now?"



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05 May 2012, 12:19 pm

I remember being told that I was living in a fantasy world very often as a child. Maybe I was, but I always found the tone very condesending and insulting. I became very used to hearing "but we live in the real world" or "this is reality" or "that's not how the real world works". Whenever I didn't want to give up on something, I was often given a lecture on the "real world". I love this line in a Jhon Mayer song: "There's no such thing as a real world, just a lie you've got to rise above..."


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Aspergerjourney
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11 May 2012, 12:44 am

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate it:)

MagicMeerkat... what you have described is exactly what i want to avoid with my daughter. I don't want to trivialise her fantasy world as it is clearly very important to her. And as the fantastic discussion has shown... what is ' real' anyway!:)

Take care all,
beth x

p.s. momsparky thanks for sharing the Batman story... it is so hard to know how to ' handle' these things sometimes. Us parents are meant to ' think on our feet' and have all the answers immediately and sometimes I could do with a nice lie down and a cuppa before deciding on the best response!



momsparky
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11 May 2012, 8:01 am

Aspergerjourney wrote:
sometimes I could do with a nice lie down and a cuppa before deciding on the best response!


OMG! AMEN!! !