won't touch his penis

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I still would like to find a better link, but think this is better than the ones from mother's forums. http://www.examiner.com/article/prematu ... -your-baby When you clean under the foreskin what is actually happening is you're washing away the protective flora that fights off infections ... if it was your pediatrician who told you to do this you may want to take action and report them somehow or educate them so that this doesn't continue to happen to others. My son is 4 years old is also autistic and intact, he does not clean himself, I've never pushed his foreskin back to clean him and he's never had irritation there, it does not need to be done that way.

I hope these links aren't too upsetting, you didn't know and meant well. And I hope nothing I've said is in anyway insensitive, I am also on the spectrum and am sometimes not as tactful as I mean to be. Good luck.

http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet6.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forcible_r ... e_foreskin

Thanks for that Washi, I just read the links. We have an organisation here dedicated to helping new Mums. When you have a baby, they come around to your house at regular intervals to help you learn to take care of your baby. It's a wonderful service, and it's free. I don't know how I would have got by without them actually! I asked one of the ladies who came around, as Mum told me I had to do it and I doubted her. They said yes too, so that's what I did! Now I'm starting to think either both her and my Mum have an old fashioned way of thinking, or I misunderstood. Because after reading your post I looked it up on their website, and they say the same thing you do..... yikes!

http://www.plunket.org.nz/your-child/2- ... enis-care/

I hope we haven't hurt him

My son also has a mild oral fixation which has been decreasing so the neurologist thought that could be more developmentl than sensory. He also has some fairly mild repetitive behaviors such as looking at things from different angles and waving his fingers in front of his eyes. The neurologist noted that he did have autistic traits but he felt some things he might outgrow and other things were strong enough to give a diagnosis. I think what also prevented him from getting the diagnosis is my son was very friendly with him and was playing with him and laughing with him. Unfortunately, when he is around his peers, if he approaches them, he says something that either makes no sense or sounds completely random. Since he is still a baby, adults will work with him to get out something that makes sense and is in context, but children will be confused and not know how to respond.

I have 2 boys and a girl. Both my boys, 6 and 3.5 are intact. I was also told to gently pull back the foreskin at bath time. We did that and have had no issues at all. We also wash it afterwards and both boys have been fine.

I will just answer whats on my mind.....
For me I dont think its an autistic thing! I do know some kids will selfstimulate as a means of comforting themselves......My son tend to play with it when he was small....and usually this gave me a good indication that he was stressed.....then I just redirected his attention.
If your son is in daycare.....have they maybe gave them a lecture on not allowing any one to touch their privates? If so...autistic kids are very litteral, so he might get upset when you touch there, because its braking the rules....and maybe he doesnt have the vocab to tell you that teacher said no touching?
My son always did inappropriate things with his privates, like trying to push it into the whole in the bath! Or pushing things into his bum!
Regarding peeing....some autistic kids has an obsession with germs and dyslike going to the loo...my son is almost 9 and still gets pooing accidents on some odd occations!
I know that some docs says pushing back the foreskin is oldfashioned...I have 2 boys....never pushed back....no problem! But the oldest had a problem with foreskin being to tight...so his wasnt comfortable with pulling, pushing, around there...he got plenty of infections and at the end had to be sircumsized!
For me it does sound like a sensory issue, because your son also struggled with hear and ear washes and the sensation of bathwater on his skin....I wouldnt be to worried about it all!
I would keep an eye on any sign of pain and infection.....also looking at any rectal damage to just rule out any possible abuse that you might not be aware of? And maybe try and find out if any one else has ever touched his privates?

Last edited by lovelyboy on 13 Jul 2012, 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My guess is it is a sensory issue. He is probably tactile defensive and given that particular area is very sensitive, it might actually feel very unpleasant to have it touched at all at this point. It would explain why he doesn't like baths, too... and massage. Kids with sensory defensiveness tend to not like those things.

My son is a sensory seeker, so we actually have the opposite problem!! !

Have you sought out an OT evaluation to see if you can do some therapy for the overall sensory issues?

If you have ruled out an infection or something else causing him pain down there, get with an OT.

Sensory. Heh.

15 year old brother won't wash his hair, face, or certain areas of his skin appropriately because he "washes" them too gently. He also won't touch his penis when he urinates. I only know this because when he goes to the restroom and I go in afterwards, the back of the toilet will have urine on it, so I'd ask him, "What are you doing the macarina when you pee?" and he told me he doesn't hold his penis when he pees.

I apologise if I offended you. I did think it was strange that you should be concerned about your son not doing something that you acknowledged anyway that not all boys do, and that if your son does do it, you'd rather they didn't - especially when they start showing off erections in public!

Your question made me neither uneasy nor uncomfortable. In fact, conversations about baby's penises are quite familiar to me as my son was born with a torsion of the penis, and for the first three or so years of his life I took him to regular hospital appointments about that.

I didn't say or suggest that you "appear to be a weirdo", and I am sorry if your interpeting that way was offensive or upsetting to you.

Anyway, what is important is your son's welfare and you are right that we get different advice here about how to care for our son's, particularly in relation to washing penises. When I read your post I did not think that you would be pulling his foreskin back as the advice here is not to do that as it causes injury. You were right to question your mother's advice and it is really quite shocking that the health professional you spoke to gave the wrong information.

It seems likely that your son's dislike of having his penis washed, or even touched when his nappy is changed, is a result of the pain he is accustomed to experiencing as a result of his foreskin being prematurely pulled back. He may also have increased sensitivity or infection as a result of the washing.

I'd recommend that you take him to a doctor about this, assuming that the doctor will be aware of how best to care for a little boy's penis.

YES, it is an autistic thing...

I think it might be more of a uncircumcised thing. With the removal of the foreskin, the glans is exposed to constant stimulation, which makes the baby more aware of it. My two oldest are circumcised, my youngest is not. The pressure to circumcise is extremely high in the US at least where I am. I almost had to fight with the hospital to keep them from doing it. The two oldest played with their parts as soon as they could get their hands down there, and I noticed many times that they had stiffies while wearing diapers, maybe twice that happened with the youngest. The youngest has played with it a few times in the last year or so, but was never interested at all before that. I've noticed that his foreskin is starting to release, so I figured that had to do with the timing of his beginning it. He is also extremely sensitive to the touch there and is very resistant to washing it now that the skin can pull back. He says it is too sensitive, so we've settled for getting him to rinse it well a few times a week with the skin back.

I didn't read this whole thread but wanted to comment on the reply that implied a no-need to clean a penis. If your son is not circumcised, he will need to be taught how to pull that skin back and wash it properly to avoid infections. I had to teach my son too - I didn't feel comfortable - but I taught him a couple of times so he was aware on how to do it himself. After that, I gave him regular verbal reminders and talked him through the process .. and faded that out too. He still has struggles washing his hair - and yes, I've helped him with that too - but you don't get a "hair infection" if it's not done properly and if the penis gets infected, a circumcision will be more painful to heal as the child gets older.

My guess is your son has sensory issues all over the place and the penis is just another area of his body.

Rubbish, and Iam not surprised the original posters son doesn't like his Mother going anywhere near his penis if she insists on pulling back his foreskin for him!
This is a sexual act, exposing a males sex, another level in sexual nakedness.

I didn't even know my foreskin could retract until I was experimenting with it when I was 9 years old, it was pristine clean under there, no smell, no smeg, all those things come after you have first exposed the pretty much sealed glans to the air and the bacteria in it, the sexual intensity of exposing the glans gave me my first orgasm at 9.

Here in England hardly any boy got circumcised, I never once heard of an infection!, its just one of those lies to try and force Christians to sexually mutilate their children.

I agree with Nambo. My son is not circumcised, I never washed him that way, and he's never had an infection. I think that method of cleaning was probably invented by someone who really would have preferred all little boys to be circumcised.
My son never played with his penis, but when he was four he did go through a phase where he would hold it while he was walking around, kind of like he was carrying it. It was very embarrassing at the time, but looking back it seems funny.

When my son was born, I was instructed by the hospital NURSE how to keep his uncircumcised penis clean from infection. There's nothing "sexual" about teaching a child how to care for himself. If people see "sexuality" in that, I'd question them and THEIR motives.

My NT son doesn't play with is penis, he is two. He has grabbed it a few times as an infant while I would be changing him. He is also not circumcised. He also hates it when I have to wash it or wipe it clean. I just ignore it and do it anyway. I never push his foreskin back. I never understood the concept of it because his penis looked clean to me and I didn't see any folded skin so what did I have to push back? I was never given the advice either how to clean it. I only saw it online about cleaning it. He has never had an irritation down there either.

My son has been hating getting his hair washed and having water poured on him. I just do it anyway because I would rather torture him than have him be dirty and neglected.

I think the pushing the skin back confusion might be that the foreskin is fully attached when a baby is born. It shouldn't be pulled back and cleaned under until it releases and is retractable sometime between age three and puberty. Very rarely there will be a problem where it is too tight and doesn't release properly and interferes with development especially during puberty, which would result in a later circumcision, which another poster mentioned. Once it is retractable or partially retractable, that is when it should be pulled back (no further than is comfortable for the child) and cleaned periodically to prevent smegma (basically dead skin cells and oils) build up. Before it releases there is no space to allow build up, and forcing it back is extremely painful. At least this is my understanding of uncircumcised penis care.

I did have doctors and nurses that were not experienced with uncircumcised penis care tell me that it should be forced back. I did some research, found older info from a time when more male babies in the US weren't circumcised and followed that. And switched to a doctor that saw a high percentage of Hispanic patients as apparently the Hispanic groups here are pretty adamantly against circumcision, so she actually had experience. That's what I kept getting from the nursing staff at the hospital too. "But why don't you want him circumcised? You're not Hispanic!" (to which I rolled my eyes and told them to stay away from his penis.)