Why do fathers abandon their children with disabilities?

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My dad is rather the same. I can seem normal most of the time, and carry on intelligent conversation, but my more severely Autistic brothers he has nothing to do with. Everything regarding them is foisted on my mother. But even if they don't communicate well, or sometimes at all, I am always amazed at how smart they are. One of them suddenly starting spouting off the multiplication tables before he was even taught them! They are truly special, and not in the "special" way my father regards them. In my experience, men really don't handle offsping with disabilities well.
But I might be wrong. There likely are men out there who treat their children wonderfully.

I agree about men not being able to handle special needs offspring very well. My dad always treated my younger sister with more respect than he treated me. I felt that I was just a piece of dirt in his eyes.

{{Hugs}}

Why? Weakness is why.

Sorry, but i think thats just lousy excuses to make myself not rsponsible for a lousy behaviour. Not society is divorcing people but grown up humans are.

And society can only decide who is generally responsible for the work necessary to earn the money a child need and who is responsible for the work necessary not bound to money a child needs.

But raising and educatint a child cant be forced by society or is someone standing in your living room, holding a weapon to your head and telling you: "Now feed your child und wash his cloth! And then you do a walk with him!" And you there: "Dont get closer! If you try to make contact to your child i´ll shoot! This is my last warning!" ?

There are lot of things society expects me to do, but the desicion is up to me and i am responsible at last for my desicion. If i decide to act as "society" expects me too its because of MY desicion that i WANT to act like this. And if I dont act as society wants me to do it is because of MY desicion that I DONT WANT to act in this way.

Yop, here follows a lousy example, but 99% of society wants me to shave my body hair. But as long as noones sneaks with a firearm into my bathroom and forces me by violece to do so, there is no excuse for "Mimimimimimi... bad society forced me to act like in this was. I swear i didnt want to. But there was this huge guy with the weapon / this evil Witchdoctor with the mind controlling vodoo doll...."

Sorry, but thats just a lousy weak try to excuse a wrong behaviour, meaning the person itself knows inside that her/his behaviour is wrong. Because if you would not knew, that you are acting wrong you also would not neet to invent some excuse to yourselfe to legetimate your own behaviour to yourself.

Noone denies that there are cases when parents REALLY ARE FORCED to stop contact with their kids because of a wrong desicion of a judge, based on lies upon the old partner and so on, who REALLY forces to stop the contact by law. Meaning if i dont respect that law, then there will be really some guys with weapons forcing me to respect the judge desicion. But as long as there is no official judge desicion, voodoo doctor or armed guy forcing you to stop someone to make contact whith his kids, just an invisible, unharming, imaginary thing as "the society, mastermind of evil" the only person responsible for the desicion to make contact or not making contact is the person itself.

I do not know if it is a male or female thing. However, I am married and my husband gets along well with our AS son and spends time with him. This all changes though when my son is having a moment where he might need discipline or words to help him through. My husband disappears and makes me take care of the "problem"! It is annoying as Hell! I wish my husband would help but he does not!

Fathers abandon their children all the time, regardless of their abilities. It's a very generalised, sweeping statement but a lot of men (and women) do not have any innate parental instincts and it doesn't bother them not to be involved in their children's lives. I, on the other hand, couldn't face a life that did not involve my children, never in a million years.