Do you think most parents don't really want to know what...

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aspiesmom1
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12 Dec 2006, 1:10 pm

My son left scouting because they had no room for his brand of creativity. Scouting has changed a lot in the past 15 years or so.

I was sad about it too, because he really seemed to enjoy it, and as a scoutmaster in a prior life I know how much he could have gotten out of it.


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ster
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12 Dec 2006, 4:36 pm

scouting is just like school.....sometimes you're led by an awesome person who is understanding, and other times you end up with idiots with their own agenda and criteria



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13 Dec 2006, 4:43 am

Yes, unfortunately you get some dropkicks who are just in it for their own personal aggrandizement. I dropped out of the brownies because some kids could get tested for their medals really easily because their parents were mates of the people running it. Mine weren't so tests just never got organised. Plus, there were some bullying issues with older girls.

Some years later, I joined the Venturers (a version of Guides & Scouts for teenagers of both sexes) and had a really good time. The people in charge were great and really understanding and we went on some really awesome camps and also did some community projects such as painting a building at the local historical society.


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ster
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13 Dec 2006, 6:37 am

wish i could get my boys to join venturers, but i've been told by my NT son that scouts just aren't "cool"....and my aspie son was the victim of bullying within his old scout troop, and wants nothing to do with scouts anymore



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15 Dec 2006, 5:15 am

That's a shame. I think they have both sexes in the Venturers so that could be an incentive for some kids to join up.


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ster
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15 Dec 2006, 6:45 am

i even tried that ploy ( girls, you know...)...still not interested.



Aspie94
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15 Dec 2006, 8:54 am

My point isn't that NT parents won't TRY to help their child; it's that on a few boards they had no interest in hearing the inside mind of those who were adults on the spectrum. Bascially, they wanted to hear that it all can go away with the right interventions or DAN doctors (shudder). It doesn't go away, but most of us, at least on this board, wouldn't want to get rid of our AS. Proof of them not tolerating the view that, no matter what, your child will always be different, although, depending, he may do great things. I got banned for saying that as "causing trouble." That wasn't my intention.



three2camp
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15 Dec 2006, 8:59 am

The monkey dance while presenting the colors is just not cool. Later, during free time, it's okay, but there are times when it's just not right.

I'm sorry about the bullying by other Scouts - we've seen it happen here too, but DH is Den Leader and we're working closely with the Boy Scouts in the Troop he'll be in next spring.

A recent issue of Boys' Life (the official Scouting magazine) had an article on Asperger's and other conditions. There are official BSA publications about how to handle special needs children so, Scouting really has come a long way. The Scoutmaster of the Troop we'll be crossing to has a boy with Down's Syndrome so they may not understand my son's condition, but they will not be allowed to take advantage either. Dean is really working with us and watches those boys carefully. I think we got lucky with this Troop - the Pack we're coming out of isn't so great, but the Troop might be worth staying.



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15 Dec 2006, 10:24 pm

three2camp wrote:
A recent issue of Boys' Life (the official Scouting magazine) had an article on Asperger's and other conditions. There are official BSA publications about how to handle special needs children so, Scouting really has come a long way. The Scoutmaster of the Troop we'll be crossing to has a boy with Down's Syndrome so they may not understand my son's condition, but they will not be allowed to take advantage either. Dean is really working with us and watches those boys carefully. I think we got lucky with this Troop - the Pack we're coming out of isn't so great, but the Troop might be worth staying.

They did? When? Either I must've missed it or its really recent and my darned mailman hasn't brought it here yet.



miriam
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29 Jan 2007, 1:43 pm

I know the original post was a while ago, but I just wanted to add my 2 cents.

There are a lot of crappy parents out there. Some of them have kids with AS.

The rest of us love our aspie kids, adore the aspects of AS that are life enhancing for them, ache for them when aspects of AS cause them misery, want to help them live in an NT world as happily and comfortably as possible and would love to be able to crawl inside their heads and really understand how they experience the world.



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30 Jan 2007, 12:20 am

I didn't have time to read all the posts but as a NT parent with an AS child, I wouldn't change anything about my son. It is his AS that makes him so darn smart! His AS is what has given him this wonderful and unique personality. I am so proud of him all the time. Yes his behavior drives me wild sometimes and there are times that I wish he could just be still and behave, but it is websites like this that I LOVE because it gives me insight to his world so that I can understand him and his wild behavior better. He is such a sweet and wonderful boy. Of course I would give anything to protect him from the world---like the idiot people who bully because they don't see his differences the way I do. My second son (age3) is starting to show some "autistic characteristcs" and other people are always telling me sorry for this and I am saying "why??" So not ALL parents want to change their AS children or "cure" them.



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31 Jan 2007, 5:15 pm

I haven't read the other responses but since I'm only talking about my personal experience it probably doesn't matter. ;) I don't want to "cure" my son. I don't want him to be NT. I just want him to be happy. That involves a lot of give and take. Sometimes on his end and sometimes on mine. I'm NT but I'm extremely intuitive when it comes to my son and he often says that the only person who knows him as good as he knows himself is me. ;) I wouldn't wish him to be NT because then he wouldn't be who he is. I love his AS traits. I've never known him to be any other way and my role as his Mum is not to change him but to embrace him and all his quirks. It's also my job to give him as many opportunties as he needs/wants to be successful in life but I don't mean successful in terms of NT success. I mean successful in what interests him and what HE wants to do in life. That's why I love being his Mum.



Angel_UK1
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31 Jan 2007, 5:32 pm

Hi All, As a parent awaiting a diagnosis on my son for aspergers, I honestly can say I hate labels, I know asd's are labelled but once the label goes on thats how people refer to your child, "oh yeah the kid with issues".
Well for all my children the NT's and 2 with issues all i want for them to achieve in life is whatever makes them happy.
If they wanna run for prime minister I am 100% behind them, if they want to enter a monastery again go for it.
I do accept that my special 2 (cos to me they are all special) will possibly always need love, guidance, and support to achieve more (if they wish to ) and I do not have an issue with that. I feel as a mother my kids in some capacity even when adults will always need something. Be it money,lolol, advice I am always here.



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31 Jan 2007, 6:28 pm

Angel_UK1 wrote:
Hi All, As a parent awaiting a diagnosis on my son for aspergers, I honestly can say I hate labels, I know asd's are labelled but once the label goes on thats how people refer to your child, "oh yeah the kid with issues".


On the flipside, i was a parent who was thrilled with the "label" because that was my foot in the door to get him the services he needed and deserved. ;)



jaleb
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01 Feb 2007, 12:38 am

Celtic Goddess,

I completely agree with everything you have said, you summed up all of my thoughts but with better words! Like you, I instictively know my son better than anyone and he will not hesitate to tell everyone that (including his father :D ).



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01 Feb 2007, 8:35 am

jaleb wrote:
Celtic Goddess,

I completely agree with everything you have said, you summed up all of my thoughts but with better words! Like you, I instictively know my son better than anyone and he will not hesitate to tell everyone that (including his father :D ).


Ha! My son tells my husband that too. If he's trying to explain himself and he can't get the words out he'll say "ugh! Can you just ask Mum what I mean because she knows how my head works." :lol: And I think that's one of the best compliments I could ever get. ;)