I can't be a volunteer mom....

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Well I finally got an opportunity to do a 30 minute volunteer type job(paperwork) this week, going to go and see how it goes - I don't interact with the classroom directly but bring put to work addressing papers. I told my daughter that I will be there to help her teacher. I think it's the best of both worlds since I will make my face known but not interrupt her routine in class. Ironically no one is volunteering for this task(?) and I am glad now I signed up for it. Hoping it goes well tomorrow crossing my fingers.....

I hope it works out and you at least think the experience is OK. I really do think that one of the best things we can do for our kids is to be involved in their school in some way, it doesn't have to be a big way.

YAY You! I'm not surprised no one had signed up for that job, so many people don't.

I hope it goes well! My sons were fine with me being in the classroom in any capacity during K when many parents were there volunteering, but after that as it became more and more unusual to see other moms in the class they became more resistant to the idea. So I did many of the types of jobs you listed above so that I could be helpful and participatory without disturbing my boys. I also really liked the opportunities to sit quietly in a corner of the classroom, unobtrusively observing my sons behaviours. I feel like what I learned at these times has been invaluable. I have not participated much in the PTA stuff. I learned very quickly that it was not for me. Way to socially intense for my own ASD needs/deficits.

Update:

I participated, which involved taking one child at a time, calling their name out(we were given a handful of kids, each volunteer got to have their own child in their group) out of the classroom and down the hall to write their names on letters to family for fundraising.....


I had my daughter go last of the group because she was having her snack, but she saw me go back and forth with each child. I could not believe how well she handled it, it was no big deal at all. She saw me call out other childrens names, go back and forth out of the room. She did great, I explained to her that I was going to call her "friends" first and she'd be last and she was fine with it(she was eating so she didn't care )

I gotta tell you it was weird for me for I don't interact with other kids one on one like that in the "neurotypical" realm often and I was sad a bit on how easy it must be for other parents to just do simple tasks like that no big deal.....I was a wreck.

Can I tell you that I don't care for those uber Alpha moms???? WOW..... rather stab my eyes with forks than hang around that on a regular basis.....

When I tried my daughter in dance awhile back, there were a whole bunch of them. OMGoodness, they are the most annoying group of people I have ever seen in my life. I was actually thankful for my social awkwardness so I could mostly just avoid them. There were a few of them who had purchased SAT-type preparatory materials to prepare their 5 year olds to get into Gifted and Talented Programs! It was all I could do not to say "You do realize, don't you, that if you have to have your child spend hours preparing to get tested for the GAT program, that they are really not GAT, don't you?" They pretty much snubbed me, firstly, I am sure, because of my daughter's differences, but secondly because she attended what they considered a "second-rate" school. The best part EVER was when they were talking about how many hours they were spending drilling their kids on reading and how "poorly" they were doing (come on! They are 5 freaking years old!) and they looked at me and I simply said "huh, my daughter is almost to a second grade reading level and I never work with her at it at all. She just picked up books and started reading them on her own." The silence that spread across the room as those moms contemplated that the "weird" girl might be smarter than their own was GOLDEN!

I think the being a wreck part passes. Also, how do you know it's easy for the nt moms? I am a socially awkward nt, and the only time this stuff is easy for me, is after I've been doing it for a while, know my role and know what's expected. Someone said this to me once, an it really helps "don't compare your insides with their outsides". Meaning don't try to compare how you feel with how they look, since you have no idea how they feel.

As I've watched my eldest's group of alpha kids and moms, I have a few observations - after envying them for their comfort level and the time they could spend focusing on heir kids - fast forward 12 years -I have my own life to live now that DS is about to graduate. They, don't have anything that's their own - their kids have become their own people and don't do what the parents had planned. My son is his own person, not part of the stupid pack of conformists and he's pretty happy, confident and planning his own life.

It all looks different now, and the alpha parents are not ahead or happier.

I'm really proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone! No one ever said being a parent was comfortable - you're doing a great job!

I should have mentioned...
It takes time before you get accepted into the schools volunteer group, and initially you'll simply be assigned chores that need to get accomplished. If you want more important tasks and really want to get involved, then show up at the PTA planning meetings, and other planning meetings. It is always the same group of parents who are involved and active, so you get to know them, and also harder work is almost always available. When they say 'no talent show this year', you can say 'I'll run it.'

Sounds like a clique.