homeschooling kids with Aspergers

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Logitechdog, "zero tolerance of bullying" is usually a bad joke as much of the bullying is unseen and the teachers are so overwhelmed by course work and paper work that they only see a fraction of what goes on around the place. The zero tolerance policy must come from the head teacher downwards.

If the head teacher treats their staff like shite then it hardly likely that they or the staff will have much interest in stopping the bullies. I know it would be frowned upon nowadays, but in older times, the father of a bullied child would confront the father of the bully and they would sort it out that way.

I can't see any reason why homeschooling can't succeed and it is a good option for children who are overwhelmed by the noise and bustle of regular crowded classrooms. There are usually kids of varying ages in the neighbourhood that they can still socialise with.

If homeschooling ends up creating a happier child who is learning better then it is far for the better. It might not suit everybody but it shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.

Firstly, what's a digamous?



Well, yeah. And I'll say the same for my children, if I have any. Nothing wrong with making an informed judgement. I've been to school, seen others, heard of yet more, and I've met children who have both been to school and who have been taught at home. I've also met teenagers and adults from both backgrounds. I agree that school can have benefits for some, but I also think that for some people, it's really not worthwhile.

There are lots of good sex-education books available for children these days and I don't think kids should be stuck in the public school system if their parents can otherwise do a better job of homeschooling them.

mean a Diagnose .....

Stuck

Traped

made to sit in a room

where is your child going to work??? " And I mean a Job "

This your view or the child's choice...

my children? how old are you lou?

and I am sure you said if you don't leave a calling card to the Suffolk murder investigation you will be ok I think that says how much sense you have...

And for legalising prostitution do you even know why these people do what they do.

Excellent commentaries have been written by Holt and Gatto to show the true motivation and effects of public schooling. Those who insist on such slavish devotion to it are doubtful those who have experienced severe bullying or discrimination. And as most everyone knows "zero-tolerance" has been used most effectively by schools AGAINST those in special education or those in minority groups.

John Holt - http://www.holtgws.com/johnholtpage.html

John Taylor Gatto - http://www.preservenet.com/theory/Gatto.html

Zero tolerance - http://www.asbj.com/2004/09/0904research.html
http://www.mti-sys.com/issd/news/zt_report2.html#intro

At a certain point people do not have an interest in learning about homeschooling (hint,hint)- only promoting ridiculous stereotypes that have been created by those running the system - like how kids who are homeschooled are isolated when in fact it is those in the schools who are isolated. Or that somehow protecting your children is a "bad" thing. Or that somehow in fairy tale land every kid stands up to their bully and is victorious. The sex education thing is so played out among those arguments and is really a red herring. The idea is that only schools can teach children about sex and kids definetely have a lack of appreciation for such nonsense in schools. Sex is part of biology - not really something mysterious.

Think the fact this comment is here is a reason not to read it as every school, location in that country & country is relevant...

As not every school, place, people are the same....

The question is are you prepared to move to a better place - or just yank out the child.... The fact that place is not good why would you want to be in that location, true some people can't afford it but like these people I seen saying it would cost $12k to put this child into private care - is like saying $12k for this is not worth my child.... Granted not all people can but most who can have this view on mental people... but if it was a medical reason in another area they will go through it...

As long as the child is the one making the choice you are doing the right thing but if you force it onto them as your view…

And also blaming schools for not putting the zero t in is like blaming parents for they Childs problems... not all people come forward and the ones been bullied tend to stick up for the bully... and that's where it fails sometimes...

Granted sometimes it's the school - or teacher who saw it - but that's just like blaming a parent...

Last edited by logitechdog on 19 Dec 2006, 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Logitechdog, I'm sure I didn't make that particular quote. I can see your point if a child enjoys school and the parents want to take them out but most parents who homeschool have kids who don't enjoy regular school and some have a school phobia.

school phobia, so your saying anyone with a phobia should be taken away from it - i'm sure your meant to help people face they phobia not draw them away from it...

And I could probably get about 29 in a 31 class to say they don't like school every day.. they would rather be out having fun - playing on they consoles... so on...

Logitech brings up a really valid point that concerns me. EVERY child will say at a given time that they don't like school, because given half the chance, they think that being homeschooled will give them more time to play their Playstations or X-boxes. Right or wrong, I think that it is a hard thing to do to look at your child and figure out, are they wanting to stay home to be homeschooled because they are a) bored with school, b) frustrated with school, c) being bullied, or d) just think that homeschooling will be easier or more fun. I'm sure that there are many other reasons beyond reasons a) thru d), and it's our painful job to figure out whether those reasons are valid.

Cheers. And, I have. The first GP I spoke to said it would cost me £1000. Further asking around has produced a 'we'll see what we can do', and I'm currently waiting to hear back from the latest line of enquiry. However, the three people I've spoken to in person who directly work with autism and Asperger's Syndrom have said that they're pretty sure I have it.



Well, currently I'm at college, an environment in which we're made to sit in a room. Although it's my choice to be there, so I'm hardly stuck or trapped. I've also done a few office and catering jobs over the summers, including admin, finance, reception, waitressing and kitchen assisting. The first three involved sitting in rooms, too. All of them had their upsides and downsides, but again, I never felt stuck or trapped, and some of them I entirely enjoyed. (Including some of the ones involving sitting.) Obviously some people end up in jobs that they don't enjoy, in which they feel stuck or trapped - but I'd say that's something best avoided, and that if they're that unhappy they should look into a different career path. Teaching children from a young age 'you will be stuck, trapped, and made to sit in a room, so you might as well get used to it' doesn't sound like a good plan.



As much as I can, I'll make it my child's choice. Personally I find most schools inadequate, but I realise that some people prefer them. If my child wanted to go, then I'd certainly not tell them they couldn't.



Old enough to be in college.



I actually don't understand that sentence. I don't use the term calling card, either (which might be contributing to my lack of comprehension) but it's certainly not a quote of anything I said.



I know people get into it for different reasons, and that if it's a societal problem, slapping people into prison or charging them fines for doing it isn't going to help the situation.

logitechdog, homeschoolers have a very low unemployment rate, have a high rate of being successfully self-employed, tend to score higher on standardized tests than normally schooled kids, and from the studies that have been done regarding socialization, homeschooled kids tend to have higher self esteem and self-confidence (I don't know exactly how they measure this).

In fact I remember one study, where it found the homeschooled children of non-certified teachers actually did better than the homeschooled children of certified teachers.

As far as sex ed, if a parent or child don't want to discuss the topic, there are plenty of resources... the internet, the discovery channel, books...

As far as remedial accomodations, those can be worked in easily to homeschooling. My son types instead of writing, for instance. He is learning handwriting but it is so hard for them, that typing is the only way he can get his thoughts out quickly and easily. A lot of the work we do out loud.

If I had access to a great school, I might try it out (my daughter did try going to school, after three months she was begging to be homeschooled again). But where I live, in my neighborhood, the schools are rather dismal.

With all due respect, logitechdog, your comments are coming across as antagonistic and not taking into account people's experience and resources. While it seems that the thread's originator, schleppenheimer, shouldn't pull her son out (because of the factors involved)-others don't have the same circumstances.
At this point in time in the US, many schools aren't required to accomodate autistic children. That means that either your child is in a self-contained classroom with no/low academic expectations, likely modelling on behavior that doesn't help and "shuffled" away. The other choice is full on inclusion with not enough support for the child who has sensory integration disorder, no one to figure what his/her problems are when they arise and a pressure to be something they are not.
Fighting the schools about everything they do is futile. They are the system. Sometimes it's better to pull your child out and do it yourself. Children are our responsibilities and if the gov't is in the business of conformity, then my son won't fit in no matter what.
The things you list that schools do that homeschoolers don't is faulty.
I didn't have sex-ed until I was 15 or 16. Good thing I was terrified of sex. Back then in the 80's many girls got pregnant because sex-ed was lacking. The rates went down in the 90's before Bush came into power. Studies show that abstainence-only sex-ed programs (our current system now under Bush) don't prevent pregnancies and STDs.
So, currently, schools aren't doing that right.
Bullying is a recurring problem and it isn't just the fat guy on the playground that is scaring smaller kids. It's the cute girl who gets the other girls to tease you because you dress funny, it's the teacher who doesn't like kids that fidget, it's the class president that makes fun of the weird kids.
Schools can't eradicate bullying because if they are in the business of conformity, then they create bullies.
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Back to the original topic of schleppenheimer's child. It seems that your son needs a decompression schedule. Extra time to nap or vegetate. Stress can be inflicted on a child but also a person can expect a lot of his/herself. Stress itself isn't so bad but he needs to destress too.

Yeah, I agree that my son needs some time to decompress. We always let him come home and ride a bike or play DDR or a computer game for a while before he does his homework.

Also, his school often lets him test in a separate room from the other kids because it is more quiet for him. I KNOW for a fact that he likes this, and doesn't at all feel isolated or set apart from the other kids. Part of this is because he is super cheerful and unaware of that isolation, but I also think that he's doing well enough in other areas that he doesn't care if he's tested somewhere else. I think that they've found that he takes forever to finish a test if he does a math test in the same room as the rest of the class. And yet, he does FINE in class with tests for spelling and science. Both areas where he excels.

I don't know how much time he gets to decompress at school. But I do think they try hard to make life as calm for him as possible. He is not inclined to act out or tantrum or have anxiety attacks, he just takes forever to do a task when distracted.

The math teacher is really working hard now to try and notify him (and us) of what is expected on a test. There's always this problem of my son forgetting to write down upcoming tests in his assignment book, or writing homework down and yet not really knowing what is expected of him. I know this is a hallmark of his diagnosis, and often the teacher's way of bridging this gap is to write down the test info/homework FOR my son. That works in the short run, for sure. But what about when he has 8 different teachers in middle school? Will ALL of them write down stuff in his assignment book for him? At least the math teacher is looking forward to the future and saying that they will work at teaching him, in the future, to write stuff down in his assignment book himself.

I TOTALLY believe that homeschooling would improve his test scores. I definitely think that my husband and I could do a better job teaching him, not necessarily because we are better teachers (his teachers really are pretty darn good), but because we could spend time concentrating on what he NEEDS, and less time concentrating on the areas where he is fine and doesn't need to focus. Regular teachers in a typical school system don't have time for that kind of individual attention -- they have 24 other students (or sometimes more) to concentrate on.

The thing is, my son usually LIKES school. It's just very confusing to think about what would be best for him. He IS socializing, albeit on a smaller scale than most kids, but he's doing fine. I would love to have him home with me, but he's already very innocent and young for his age. Of course, I don't want him to grow up too fast, like most kids do today, but I don't think I have to worry about that much. I just want him to be close to the maturity of the kids his age. If I kept him home, I'm afraid we would keep him too innocent, and then when he went out into the real world, it would be a shock. At school, it's frankly a little shocking every day, but at the same time, it's a learning environment where he adjusts constantly.

I'm rambling now. I'll quit and just see what the rest of you have to say.

Frankly, if he likes school and they doing so much for him-I'd let him stay in. Tutoring is fine for the harder stuff. Regardless if my son's in school or not, I'd tutor him in reading comprehension. That way, you know that he is getting help in the harder subjects.
As far as "down the road", just make sure that it's in his "plan" that he is aided in organizing homework/test prep.

I pulled my son from school at 10. We had an IEP meeting in January and I asked the school what accomidations they could make for him in middle school (middle school started in 5th grade in our district). They told me that the teachers were really too busy to get to know each student and that there really wouldn't be any special treatment. I decided that day to homeschool my child without really even realizing that I was going to do it, it came blurting out of my mouth in the middle of the meeting. He didn't have an Asperger diagnosis at that time and I didn't even know that Aspergers existed. I just knew that what we were doing wasn't working.

He happily homeschooled for 4 years and I sent him to public high school this year. I will be pulling him back home for half days starting in January because of the sensory overload.

There are always options. My son went to band and computers at the public school for the entire 4 years that he was homeschooled. The school is willing to work with me this year and allow him to do part time schooling. The only problem is that he might not get high school credit for those subjects he does at home. I don't really care. I don't think he will end up doing the entire 4 years at the high school anyway. He will probably start taking community college classes in the next year or so.

Our kids don't fit the public school mold. We need to figure out how to best fit the public schools to our children not the other way around. Check with your district and see if there is a way that you can modify his schedule.

Good Luck!

PS: We have used a math program for years called Aleks . It is online and costs about $20.00 a month. It has worked well for a number of Aspie kids I have tutored as well. They learn a new concept or two and then do a worksheet that reviews the new concept in addition to previously learned concepts. It keeps the kids from forgetting what they learned last week or last month. www.aleks.com

Sandy

Sandy:

Thank you SO MUCH for your post, and for the link to Aleks.com.

I'm preparing myself for the middle school meetings to come soon, and preparing myself to basically "feel" how cooperative the middle school staff will be when trying to accommodate my son. Normally I would feel pretty good, because the previous principal was a great guy. But now there's apparently a shrew of a woman principal, so I'm steeling myself for what might happen.

Is your son happy to be in high school? Does he feel comfortable, except for the sensory overload?

I agree that the public schools don't fit our children. But when you really think about it, the public schools don't fit ANY children. We are fortunate enough to live in one of the highest rated school districts in the country, and they do accommodate my son quite a bit, but still, he is not getting the education that would suit him the best, because they are trying to do so many things to fit state and federal testing, rather than teaching children what they need to know for their future. I just read an article in Time magazine called "How to Build a Student For the 21st Century", and it's basically saying that the public school systems just aren't working for ANYBODY. For example, our current math books are so obnoxious about trying to prove that the math the kids are learning is applicable to the "real world" that they don't spend enough time on the basics of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. My son's been doing "leaf and stem" graphs lately, which my husband, who is an environmental engineer, says they never really use in his line of work, and they use graphs CONSTANTLY. My son's been doing mean, mode and median work, which I didn't learn until high school. Why is it necessary to learn these things at such a young age?

If the middle school people seem reasonable, and my son still seems happy, I'll keep him in the public schools. But if there's much of a struggle, like we had when we lived in California, I'll yank him out and find ways to both homeschool and socialize. Or if I see him stressing because he's not fitting in, I'll pull him out. But so far, he seems to be doing well. He has a couple of good friends, and that seems to be enough for him. He isn't bullied, so we haven't had to worry about that so far. I just keep having this sneaking feeling that we could do a better job teaching him at home, but I'm not sure he would be able to adapt to crowds, or working in a group, if we don't keep him in the school system.

Kris