Teaching Aspie Son to Drive

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I am forced to drive around for my job, and often in for me unknown cities. But the first thing i shut down at my navigation system was the sound, so its definitely the last thing on earth you need to get used to. ^^

My Aspies have been later to drive. My oldest son had 2 different learner's permits, so about 2 years' worth of practice driving with a break in the middle, before he got his license at age 19. He's a careful driver now. But he does try to stick to less-crowded driving situations.


My younger Aspie is still working on getting her license. She recently got a new learner's permit, after having had a 2 year one earlier. We hope she can earn her license this summer, at age 19.

It's not at all worth rushing it. Too many serious consequences.

I'm 19 and I just got my license a few months ago.

I went through driver's training at the earliest age allowed (14 years 8 months) and passed with flying colors because it was mostly classroom learning and a written test at the end. I waited on segment 2 of drivers' education because I had trouble getting myself to actually practice driving and I needed to have a certain number of hours driving before I could take segment 2. I took segment 2 when I was 16 (passed it - written tests were easy and I got the highest score in the class), practiced sporadically for a year, then attempted the road test. I failed the test because I got 28 points and you are only allowed to get up to 25 points before you fail. I then took a bit of a hiatus from trying to learn. A year and a half later, I tried again with a private on-the-road lesson before retaking the road test. I passed (barely) with only 21 points.

I look up routes for places I have not driven to yet or have not driven to in a while on Google Maps even if they are only 5 minutes away. I use the satellite view to get an idea of what it'll look like (which lane to be in, turns, and parking lots/driveways). I feel much better about driving to unfamiliar places after I have checked Google Maps. My dad helps me by talking through the route before I go and what to do in difficult driving conditions (like thunderstorms). This is very helpful for me because I get really bad at driving when I'm nervous or unsure about what exactly to expect.

I don't think it helped when I first tried learning to drive that my mother was constantly barking at me what I was doing wrong when I tried to practice with her. Her yelling at me just made me really nervous and on edge which made my driving so much worse. Also, given that I lived with her most of the time, she was pretty much the only person I could practice with on a regular basis. I hated driving with her so I just didn't practice.

I can't concentrate on driving while someone is non-stop talking to me or freaking out, so having my parents teach me to drive was out of the question. A professional driver's ed instructor was perfect for me. He knew when to talk and gave me plenty of warning. He was calm bc he had a steering wheel and brakes of his own

Also, your son may be more comfortable if he has ample time to look at map quest or a map well before he gets in the car with alternative routes if a construction project pops up. Looking at traffic congestion websites helps, too. Sometimes, I chose different routes to avoid unsafe turns in busy intersections especially with honking jerks behind me. I was always a "grandma driver" and was cool with that even if the people behind me weren't

Also, time in a big parking lot helps with learning how the gas and brake respond to certain pressures. Decades later, I still went to the Walmart parking lot after the first snow of the season to slam on my brakes on the snow, so I could trust the ABS brakes, etc.

My instructor said, "Pretend there's an egg under the gas pedal and a tube of toothpaste under the brake." He also told me I was in charge of my spot in the lane and not to worry about the jerks behind me.