Just when things are going well...teachers do something odd

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This sounds like the school is trying to roll over you because this boy does not do well sitting next to others and they want him to sit next to somebody. He probably needs to sit by himself for now. They probably don't want that because it looks stigmatizing, but that may be what they need to do.

*This is not meant to be pejorative at all towards the boy. He may benefit from being separate because he may stay better focused that way.

Any change in the situation with the school?

Just to let everyone know, my daughter came out of school today saying, 'This is the best day of my life'. E has been moved and her new table mate is a little girl whom she gets on really well with. As well as this, she did the highest number of maths problems, out of the whole class, by a large margin, and got them all correct. This is incredible, as she's in the middle group for maths. The teachers know she 'gets' maths and she's only in the middle group because her concentration problem causes her to produce so little. So, I really hope this is the sign of things to come. One of her teachers spoke to me at the end of the day, to let me know that the move had happened and she was really nice, almost as if there had never been an issue, which was odd. I'm still annoyed at the DH's dismissive attitude, but I'm calming down.

Thanks to everyone for all your support.

That's the problem with big classes it hard for the teacher to keep on top of everything. Another post suggested they teamed up your DD because the boy has a history of other children complaining it was hard when sitting with him. This sounds like it may be the case.

The problem with letter writing is its like texts and emails it can be taken in the wrong way sometimes so it's unfortunate that you can only contact them via letters.

You are doing a great job, you gave it a few days to see if it would settle down, it didn't so you wrote the letter, didn't get any change so it then went to phone calls. As for getting on their wrong side l only said that because of experience as there is some teachers out there with attitude.

You have done the right thing and with the teachers it's probably more about the issue of seating someone with E. So try not to worry about things going bad with your DD and yourself, just play it cool, go with the flow but continue to speak up for your daughter if a situation affects her like this in the future.

Thats great glad shes happy again

Awesome!

Thanks again everyone. Here's a little intriguing update. Yesterday, just as I was leaving to collect my daughter, the phone rang. It was the head of the new school, who has just been appointed. She had been given my name and number, by the DH. I had told her I was considering moving my daughter there, primarily due to concerns about the open plan area, next session, but also about their failure to act on this simple, reasonable, request, without a fight. The head really wants to meet with me (my husband wants to go too, so he's arranging it, to suit his diary). It appears like she's welcoming my daughter, with open arms, which is a very good sign.

While I'm really happy that she's offered this meeting and I'm not annoyed at the DH for mentioning us to her, it kind of makes me think that the DH saw this as an opportunity to get rid of my daughter. I've been keeping myself informed about the developments at the new school and knew the process for transfer, as we're not in the catchment area, so we don't have an automatic entitlement to a place. I also knew I could get in touch with the head, if I wanted to. I never expected the head to contact me. I have this crazy idea of the DH saying to the new head, 'Here, take this one, she'll be perfect for your school'. The current school is spilling over and the new one isn't going to be anywhere close to capacity at the beginning, as most people will choose to keep their children where they are. So, they will be trying to persuade some to move. I don't need any persuading. My daughter's not a difficult girl, by any means, her main issue is that she needs lots of prompting, to keep on track with her work. But, maybe the DH sees a future of me being on her back, which is really not how I would be at all, if they just took simple measures to help her. Or maybe it is just a matter of getting the numbers in the old school down and nothing personal.

I'll not question it, as she's going to be moving there anyway and getting to meet with the head now is a great opportunity.

Phew! Sounds like you have been through the wringer!

In the short term, can you ask the school to inform you BEFORE they do any further movement? I worry that there will be something with this little girl she gets along with and you'll be back where you started.

The only other thing I would mention is that it sounds like you could really use an advocate. I don't know what the system is for where you are, but bringing in some kind of professional or paraprofessional when you are going to the school (conferences, etc.) is very, very helpful. I don't mean anyone who will scare the school, like a lawyer, I mean someone like a therapist who can reiterate that your concerns are very real.

Our own ride with the schools was very bumpy, but having an advocate helped turn things around, if only because I am not really able to hold it together very well during a meeting concerning my boy.

Oh, Mum - I sooo feel your pain. Yes, we had exactly the same situation - fortunately for us, while I was sobbing about the bullies the school had hired a Vice-Principal who actually knew what he was doing and he pointedly asked me who the other boys were. I was sort of bewildered at that question, so I answered - and the bullying stopped THAT DAY. I kid you not - that guy was magic.

However, the year before he was hired, I was trying to even get an IEP for DS, who was increasingly violent at home. I was trying to explain how scared I was and how much I needed help, sobbing (and not keeping to the subject.) The VP at the time just looked at me like I had three heads and said "sorry, if it isn't happening at school, we can't do anything about it." I couldn't explain how I knew that his behavior was because of school, so there we were for another 6 months.

The good news is that I did manage to get through it all, DS and I and DH are all still in one piece, we finally have the help we need and we know a little more how to go about getting it even if our IEP meetings go long because we go off on tangents (our advocate did help, but she wasn't magic. )

Word to the wise, though - if you DO get to the point where you have to hire a lawyer (and let's hope not,) write out what you are going to say in their office - they charge by the hour and they aren't kidding. Tangents cost us real money in that instance.