When to let the cat out of the bag

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Well, a few years before I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers, mum showed me an article about the condition that she'd clipped out of a paper. She said "don't you think that sounds a lot like you?". At first I didn't agree, but when I read the article a few times I did.

For years before that, we had been trying to find out why I had so much trouble initiating conversations, got so upset over "trifles" and had trouble with self-care and self harming when I got really frustrated. At various times, I was diagnosed with "depression", "anxiety", "social phobia", "avoidant personality", "borderline personality" and was also told I was "lazy" and "not trying hard enough".

It was still very frustrating to try and get an official diagnosis as few doctors in my area knew anything about Asperger's and those who did said I couldn't possibly have it because I was an adult female who'd had a job for years. My behaviour deteriorated and eventually the people at work sent me to a Commonwealth Medical Officer who diagnosed Asperger's within the first 5 minutes.

Nowadays, mum reads whatever she can about Aspergers and she thinks it could be caused by some kind of virus.

Your comments above indicate that you are underestimating the intelligence of our aspie children. What do you think is going to happen when she gets older and realises that this condition has been kept from her? It could possibly be more traumatic to this child finding out when she is older, as opposed to now where she will grow up having a better understanding of herself. My aspie son went into a depressive state when he received his very first school report at the age of 5, he felt he should have done better and blamed himself (with NO unconscious/subconscious signalling from me let me tell you) - so it may be a surprise to you that children at any age could be concerned about all sorts of weird and wonderful things.

I talk to my kid about it every single day and she comes home from school and lets of steam tells me how she is coping and what she found hard i wouldn't want her bottling it up then i exsplain to her it's a symptom of aspergers and we work out a way to cope with it.

Your child should be told now. It may save years of self doubt and loathing. AS is an explanation for the way someone is--not an excuse.

This is just me, but I would want to know. I spend my teenage years knowing there was something different about me but unsure of what is was. I kind of expected to "grow of it" but this, of course, never occurred. The situation became more and more stressful as time went on. (I was not diagnosed until very recently)

I think it is better to tell because if you don't have any concept of what you are dealing with and therefor you cannot attempt to adapt. I have found that once I understood I had Asperger's I was able to talk about my concerns much better then before. (of course, I'm 23 not 11)

I wish you the best of luck in making your decision.