What was your child like as an infant?

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My son was born with a brain injury so he was always delayed across the board but as an infant, he was super calm - rarely cried. People used to comment a lot on how "observant" he was. He slept well (3-4 hour stretches) and was a pretty happy kid.

Then, he turned 3.

My child seemed to be typical at 9 months -- early walker (9.5 mo), late talker (first word at 14 mo, although he babbled earlier). He cried neither too little nor too much -- it was pretty easy to identify what he needed and to comfort him. We really didn't have any concerns until he was late with putting two words together, and until a preschool teacher noticed that he wasn't interested in the other kids at 30 months. He always was very high energy, even in the womb, and figured out how to climb out of his crib at 14 months, and to unlock baby gates before the rest of the kids in our playgroup.

I don't really have any advice for you, just wanted to post a contrasting example.

My son actually does make things with his hands. He is hyperlexic and he makes letters with them and intently watches his hands as he does it.. He is 7, and still does it sometimes, but not as often as he used to. Back then I do not know what he was forming, if anything. I just thought he was studying his hands, which at the time I just thought was cute. He would curl his hands up and uncurl them, rotate them etc. It made sense that a baby could think that was amazing, but he focused on doing it a lot. The watching spinning objects (like ceiling fans) is a common stim, too, but since NT babies do it too, early on, I think there is a particular age that that comes into play (older than 9 months) as an "indicator." It is hard to figure out what an unusual frequency/length of time is for anything to do with babies. Well, at least it was with me.

At about 9 months, my daughter was developmentally ahead of the game. She was already speaking quite a bit, putting a couple of words together, and had been crawling since she was 6 months. She was very mobile and, if she wasn't crawling, she'd be cruising around the furniture or climbing onto the dining table. Thinking back, 9 months was a very good time for her. She'd been a bit of nightmare as a younger baby, not gaining much weight until she started on solids and wanting to be held constantly. But, at around 9 months, she started to sleep through the night, was a really healthy weight and generally much more content. We always had issues with screaming, when she was changed or undressed. This started the day she was born and continued until she was out of nappies (diapers). Socially, she seemed fine, made eye contact and smiled or laughed. This has not changed much, as she's remained very sociable, although her eye contact varies considerably from one hour to the next. She would eat anything and everything at that age. She was eating home cooked meals, no longer mashed or pureed. She could even use cutlery. She seemed to be very independent, wanted to do it on her own and managed it without making too much of a mess. I was so proud of her at mealtimes, especially when we were in a restaurant or on holiday and strangers would remark on her self feeding skills. However, that started to change when she was around 18 months and we have real issues in that respect now. Her food choices are very limited and she doesn't use cutlery either now.

The first odd thing I noticed about my son was stimming - he'd spin stuff around on the floor and stare at water. It was around age 2 that we really started to thing something was wrong when he wasn't communicating with us at all.

I don't remember anything about responding to names...I don't think he did it much (he still doesn't) but then I knew next to nothing about autism at the time.

Just remembered some things. At about 3 months old, my eldest child would lay on our bed transfixed on the square ceiling tiles. She would look almost excited by them, she'd breathe more rapidly and obviously and do a synchronistic hand-twisting with both hands raised up and not take her eyes off them. I suppose this is related to hand-flapping behaviour.

When my youngest child was a similar age or even younger, incredibly, when she was laid on the changing mat having her nappy changed, she would make deliberate hand shadows on the adjacent wall. You could see her being very aware that she was the one controlling the shadows and her deliberate hand movements to change the shapes. I couldn't believe such a tiny baby could do such a thing.

I just wanted to say my FIL is likely autistic and he and my MIL had 3 typical kids. However, my husband and I ended up with an autistic child out of two. So with one typical child before the autistic one you would think the autistic child was obvious but she wasn't. My daughter was cruising at 9 and was walking at 10 months she was extremely busy. She had her first word at 9 months but she was a little slow compared to her brother at talking. She always met the speech milestones but she never spoke a lot and in hindsight is was atypical. She even was pointing at things at one year which I understand is a red flag. At 9 months she started to really make strange with people before she didn't mind being held by strangers. She always was clingy and wouldn't sleep unless I was nearby. I was a hands on Mom so I never really noticed. . She had severe reflux as well. Honestly we didn't have concerns until she was 2 years old but we dismissed it as just ADD busy and would settle down eventually. It wasn't until she was 3 1/2 years old that we thought maybe there was something and we thought ADD not autism.

Thanks for the responses, everyone!

So I've been trying not to worry less... but failing miserably for the last couple of days. DD has started ignoring me even worse than before -- now it's basically impossible to get her attention using my voice, whatever I say. (And yes, I'm pretty sure she can hear my voice.) She's not making nearly as much eye contact when she's playing, either.

I'm getting her evaluated by Early Intervention in about a week... in the meantime, I don't know what to do or how to feel. Do you think this could be normal or should I be super worried? Did your kids do anything like this?

The thing is, this could be one of those "conversely..." things. My daughters never had a problem with eye contact, they reciprocated and responded to their names - yet they have ASCs. It could be that your child is demonstrating signs that could be autistic, but "aint necessarily so". There could be other reasons for not responding or poor eye contact. Don't forget even babies have their own preferences and personalities which affect a lot. Maybe your baby is absorbed in stuff and is so content and used to you she just can't be bothered to respond or look. Sometimes they find new things fascinating and decide that is more important than mummy! Try not to worry (I know that's easier said than done) and wait to see what happens. If she is autistic, it's not the worst thing in the world, you may find that having researched and asked questions beforehand, it will be less of a shock if she gets a DX.

my son seemed typical at 9 months. He walked at 9 months, he met all his physical milestones early, interestingly enough he ended up needing OT and PT as a preschooler. My son had words at a year, he made eye contact, socially interacted, he was always very affectionate and loved to imitate us, loved to play chase and ball (ball was we throw ball and he runs from it...lol).

He did have already obsessive interest, he only watched ONE Tv series, he had sleep issues, feeding issues (attributed at the time to his cleft palate). He was considered a late talker by 15 months, though he had speech, his artic was WAY off, and he had a lot of made up words that he used consistently, again attributed to his cleft palate.

Having another 2 kids since, I can say my son was HIGH needs since birth, but he also had a birth defect that required a lot of work on my part. My DD was completely different even as a baby, and my DS#2 is completely different, granted he is only a few weeks old, he is very mellow and easy going.

Aww, congrats on your new tiny one.