Is it wrong to kick out someone with autism?

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This is really serious. The Nigerians can take his money, but this could end him up in prison for a long time. I would suggest making him watch episodes of "To Catch A Predator"

I think that you need to have a serious intervention with his therapist. You may even need to take his computer away. He's proven he can't handle it.

Throw the bum out. Let his "friends" deal with his crap.

It seems like cutting all internet access is more humane than throwing him out.

Until he can at least learn that telling people how to break into the house is BAD, (not to mention those that want to steal/cheat money) there's no way he can handle life on his own.

Somehow.... somehow he has to learn that there are lots of bad people out there looking to take advantage of good-hearted "suckers".

I like the suggestion of just cutting the internet off. I would at least try this first before throwing him out.

Is there any kind of place he could go to make real friends?

This thread is making me so sad. I wish there were some answer.

To the people saying "cut off his access" -- reread the OP. Depression and violence at an unacceptable level follow.

There has to be a better answer than throwing him to the wolves, but what?

I read it, and RE-read it.


He has to stop acting like a 6-year-old in order to survive on his own. PERIOD.

It'll be worse on his own and he'll end up destitute on the streets. He has, has, HAS to learn to control himself or he'll never be able to function in a job, at home, or anywhere!!

It sounds to me like he's not "high-functioning" at all. He may need to find living space in an institution of some kind - maybe THEY can train him what is acceptable behaviour and how to know who to trust out there in the world and cyberspace.

I wonder if a scared straight program might be useful. Expose him to what will happen if he continues on the path he's on.

Or you may have to consider getting legal guardianship over him to get him into a facility where they can help him.

I would still cut off the internet in the entire house. It may be inconvenient for me also, but the situation described sounds unlivable. If you had an alcoholic in the house would you keep alcohol in it. Perhaps I would take them camping or do a vacation type activity that they like but doesn't involve the internet for a week or so. I might tell them that the internet has become too expensive. As I understand cold turkey might not be the way to go. But ultimately the house would be internet free.

Sometimes it is easier on the person being cut off if they know that it is just gone. I know this man isn't a child (he's almost as old as me), but he does seem to be acting like a child and functioning on a child-like level. From experience with my kids, if there is something they are hyperfocused on and I tell them they are limited in their access to it, then I am a bad guy. I am the thing that is in their direct line of sight blocking them from it. If I completely get rid of it out of the house, they are much more accepting.

This man may still see the point of mom is not paying for the Internet, therefore she is the problem, though because he is probably a lot more sophisticated than my kids.

Sorry, I did not mean to sound judgmental, It just seems they tried it and it didn't work. Maybe a more extreme version. No internet in the house for anyone--or moving to a cabin in Alaska.



The thing about the burglary sounds more complicated--a six year old would not do that.

Could it be that he hates his family and feels entitled? Maybe he thinks they are there to serve him and if they aren't doing it properly, they deserve what they get. Something is just wrong with that picture. "Come rob my parents!"

The institution idea sounds good, along with an evaluation to figure out what's going on and work up a plan for dealing with it. They can't have him at home with this stuff happening.

If you throw him out I be he will end up homeless quite quickly.

As for the internet "friends", how is he meeting these people? Sounds like he is replying to scam and phishing mails...

Hello. Sorry I have not replied in a while. I didn't expect that this thread would get so many replies.

Anyway, he primarily meets these people through chatting programs and also social network sites like Facebook. That would be all fine and dandy, but he can't seem to distinguish real people (his friends at school, church, and his relatives) from people who are clearly not real (one guy who he said he was friends with had a profile picture of Nick Carter and claimed that was him). I have actually searched up as much information on these people as I can, and almost all the results show that whoever he's talking to is lying to him extensively. I've shown him these results too. He'll often have people lying to him that they're rich or into modeling or something like that, but their places of work are non-existent and their photos are clips pulled from magazines (one was a magazine picture of a model taken like 40 years ago) or even screencaps from movies (there were subtitles). One person claimed to live nearby but the picture of "her house" was actually from a website of houses on sale (and the house was still on sale). On top of that, the house was located in a different area than where they claimed it was.

He does actually go out quite a lot. He's very involved in church activities and attends them multiple times a week. He also attends a group that's built for special needs young adults. He even has a good friend from high school that's very kind and looks after him. This friend has also warned him about his online activities. However, he's now turned suspicious of him and anyone else who warns him because one of his online friends told him "a real friend wouldn't interfere with your fun". I can understand how having AS and having not many people who can really relate to him makes him feel lonely, but the kind of stuff he does online is still dangerous.

Anyway, I've seized all the online accounts of his that I know of and have deactivated them. I'm monitoring his email for any signs and I've confiscated his computer. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to convince him to give me his phone and I don't have any real way to monitor that. When I mentioned cutting off his phone plan or data plan he got really upset. So, I've decided to just leave things for now and if it gets worse again, I'll have to talk to my parents about considering other options.

As far as him being high functioning- He's actually reasonably bright. He can drive. He reads sometimes on his own. He knows how to use computers at a reasonable level. He's also functioning enough to run errands for my parents (they give him an allowance that he can spend on whatever in exchange). They do this because he's not functioning enough to hold a job, but he's still an adult and wants to feel like he's working like an adult.

Thanks for keeping us updated!

I think the reason his functioning level was a question was because of the money: it can be considerably more difficult to deal with an adult with AS in this kind of situation if they have a job and an independent source of income, but are not actually independent. Your parents can make it clear that his income is in part dependent on responsible use of the internet.

At any rate, there are all kinds of "parental controls" out there, and they can be extended to a phone with a data plan. You could use one to restrict his access or monitor things like Facebook, etc.

For instance: http://internet-safety.yoursphere.com/2 ... -t-mobile/

I wonder if there is some kind of therapy or something geared specifically for naivety. That seems to be a big issue for him. NT people are often like this too, where they fall for scams,but to a lesser degree, I think, or at least they usually learn quicker.

I was watching one of the "Morgan Freeman: Wormhole shows and they had a portion of it that talked about magical thinking and developmental level. I wonder if that is why people on the spectrum (and others) have issues with understanding how to deal with this kind of thing. Some of it is theory of mind, probably too. (I has issues with this earlier in life, though not this bad, and I never got into trouble, luckily ---now I am a huge cynic.)

If somehow he had access to some source he would trust --- a book or something that would help him learn this faster...

Has he read about T'eo and the catfishing thing? (I don't remember if this was discussed already) Maybe that would help him understand, and make him more willing to admit things b/c a famous , presumably NT college football player fell for this type of thing, too.

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 28 May 2013, 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

http://www.tineye.com/ and google.com/images both allow you to search the web to see if images are fake.