The oversexualization of children

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Okay. I did mention I have yet to see preteen girls pull off Girls Gone Wild-like things, but what if it does come to that point? What must the parent do in such a situation?

I have observed this the whole time my sisters were growing up, and they so easily bought into my mother's fashion obsession disturbed me. As an aspie, nearly a third of the fights my mother and I had were over clothes. Always a little pudgy, I never could stand the tight clothes that showed my stomach, the tight pants that she said had to be worn with a thong or no underwear, the clingy fabrics. I refused to wear them. She... expressed her disappointment... and I went to school in my X-files t-shirt again. My NT sisters reveled in the fancy name-brand clothes she values so much. Tights with no pants, short skirts and shorts, padded training bras, half-shirts. I am so thankful to God every day that I not only have a little boy and a stepson, but that I have redneck boys who prefer Duck Dynasty shirts and camo pants to the Ralph Lauren stuff mom sends...

I see this here and it worries me. My own daughter (almost 8yrs) is still very much a little girl and also a tomboy, so she's not interested in girls' fashions. As times goes on, it's getting harder to find her nice/smart clothes, which aren't sexualising in some way. Even getting her jeans is a problem. She'll only wear baggy jeans anyway, but the ones in the shops are all skinny, so it's joggies for the time being. As a woman, I know the purpose of skinny jeans is to show off your figure - not really appropriate for a child.

Honestly, I've seen girls in her year at school wearing mini skirts, some who are just a few years older have spray tans and dyed hair. I'm talking about primary (elementary) school age children. Some of the girls going to secondary school are dressed like women in their 20s, going for a night out and trying to get a man (fake tan, false eyelashes, mini skirts, very high heels, extreme make up). They must be up at 5.30am to get it all on. I am not exaggerating. I don't know when it stopped being the done thing for the head teacher to tell girls not dressed appropriately for school and wearing lots of make-up to go home and come back when they're dressed properly. The schools here have uniforms too, so it shouldn't be too difficult to spot what's correct and what's not.

Apart from the sexualisation, I think about what their priorities might be. This sounds sexist, but when you see a girl like that with her first weekend job and she's looking at her nails, sorting her hair and checking out her make-up (I experienced this just a couple of days ago), you think you're better off going to the aisle with the boy, as he looks like he's more likely to be focused on the customer. Girls are doing themselves no favours with all this paraphernalia. OK, I'm an old fuddy duddy.

The Librarian throws in gratuitous attacks on straw-man "liberals" as part of many posts all over WP. This has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with political crusading. I think this is what was (quite reasonably) being responded to.

The OP is quite right, that part of the culture that sexualizes little girls is totally deranged. As a liberal, I am disgusted and think it is every decent person's obligation to contend against this. The best way, I think, is to live in your own superior culture and inculcate those values in your family. But where possible, an objection to pre-teen underware shows and such like is also a good idea.

On another note, I have never seen young boys being sexualized. Maybe they're impervious to that sort of thing, or it's the fact that girls tend to be treated, well, like sex objects.

[quote="Mummy_of_Peanut"]I see this here and it worries me. My own daughter (almost 8yrs) is still very much a little girl and also a tomboy, so she's not interested in girls' fashions. As times goes on, it's getting harder to find her nice/smart clothes, which aren't sexualising in some way. Even getting her jeans is a problem. She'll only wear baggy jeans anyway, but the ones in the shops are all skinny, so it's joggies for the time being. As a woman, I know the purpose of skinny jeans is to show off your figure - not really appropriate for a child.

When she gets older if she still prefers baggy jeans try Tractor Supply company. Sounds crazy but they have loose comfortable jeans for women, and comfortable shirts. Most places women's jeans are basically the advertising department for Hookers 'R' Us... But these are comfortable and look pretty good.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRnbtRPC6v4[/youtube]
It is absolutely part of the sexism of our cultures. We all know that plenty of predatory adults see boys as sexual objects and victims, but this is not part of the approved image of male-domination of others, so it gets hidden.

George Takei circulated a definition of homophobia today that made me think of this thread: Homophobia -- the fear the gay men will treat you the way you treat women.

So it's ok to have swimsuit contests for pre-teens, because, well "thank heaven for little girls" but not at all OK--or conceivable, really, to have similar contests with little boys in beefcake poses.

It seems to me that the species would be better off acknowledging the links between sex and power and the way these infuse our sexuality and culture--and then drawing clear lines about where this stuff becomes a violation of the rights of others and where (ideally in a sort of sexual or romantic cosplay between consenting adults) it's perfectly OK. As long as we deny the real energies that are there, we will end up forcing it into weirdness like sexualizing kids.

What Adamantium said, plus look at how society values men and women differently. There are many traits that men and women are judged on but attractiveness is a much larger component of a woman's "societal value" (not the same as real value) With women it is not just attractiveness but hotness and "doability" so girls (future women) are evaluated on these same criteria (sadly including potential future hotness.) This is done even among other girls because they rate themselves and each other according to the general societal hierarchy. That is why there is a market for this stuff. That why sexy looking clothes are marketed towards girls, and long baggy shorts are marketed towards boys. (Skinny jeans for boys are alt and an outlier)

Both the power issue and "doability" factor can be seen if you just even look at Internet takedowns of powerful women people don't like. Critical comments range from criticisms of the woman's looks and sexual attractiveness and may even seemingly contradictorily include in the very same comment a threat to sexually assault that same woman.

Yes, there are plenty of snarky comments about the looks of famous men but not to the same degree or with the same vitriol.

This totally disgusts me. I only have a little boy and sometimes I am very grateful indeed that I don't have to deal with this issue first hand. But it really upsets me as a woman. I feel it degrades all females and it degrades boys, too. Men are not lust-monsters who can't appreciate women for anything other than their tits.

Even though I grew up in the 70s when I don't think it was nearly as bad, I think I reacted to some of this by being more 'boy like' - it took me a long time to find a happy balance between my femininity and my masculinity. I acknowledge I'm not a girly-girl. But I can now enjoy makeup and dressing up in a sexualised fashion. (I'm in my 40s, it's ok!)

Humans are sexual beings. It's ok to acknowledge that and celebrate that in appropriate venues. But little girls have not reached sexual maturity and that should be acknowledged in the activities in which they partake and the clothes that they wear. Teen girls and boys are transitioning into sexual maturity and this is where things get a bit more murky. But girls need to be able to have clothing choices which reflect this - not straight into hoochie-mama fashions.

You know, if little boys were sexualized, it'd be just as repulsive, personally.

I just wish I could find more clothes for myself and my daughter that don't contain SPANDEX. I can't even find blue jeans or sweatshirts that aren't stretchy and form-fitting. I'm a large woman - you don't want to see it, and I'd rather not show it to you. The men's department is calling to me....

I agree. I'm not a parent, but pre-pubescent children who dress in sexy clothes are either spoiled brats or their parents need to re-take parenting classes.

YEah. It's disturbing. I don't allow any of those sorts of toys in our house. No barbie, no monster high, nothing of the sort. Also if it's not appropriate for ME to wear, it's not appropriate for them to wear which means 99% of halloween costumes for girls are a no go. You look at those lately? GROSS.

I think kids are growing up way too fast. Even when I was in elementary school, kids were wearing make up in 4th grade and 5th grade and then 6th grade. In my class, kids were even in a rush to grow up they claimed they were too old for things like dolls and toys but it was a guilty pleasure.

Reminds me of the time when there was pregnant Barbie and it never caught my interest. I was a adult when I learned that product was banned because too many parents complained saying it will plant ideas in kids heads that teenage pregnancy was fine. But Barbie is an adult and even I knew at eight she was and I didn't even know kids had babies until I was twelve so I think the parents were overreacting. Hey tell your child Barbie is an adult and my mom explained to my brothers and I about adult behavior and what they can do and what kids can't do and we understood. My brother knew this at three and my other brother was being told at one or two that curse words were grown up words because our father was using them and she didn't want us using them so she had to find a way to explain the double standard.

Then recently I saw breast feeding dolls and it allows the child to pretend to breast feed and I thought a kid can pretend to do that with any doll, just put it up t their chest and pretend to feed them that way. Some parents also didn't like this product and found it a waste of money and I agree. I bet my own mother would have found it a waste too and not get me it and tell me I can do that with any doll I have, I don't need a doll that does fake sucking.

I was in my teens when I noticed girl clothes were becoming more adult like and I knew then they are growing up way too fast. I even notice baby and toddler clothes looking adult like sometimes. Now they make bikini swim suits for infants and toddlers. I do admit I had a two piece when I was five but it never looked like anything as today, it didn't look sexy or slu*ty. The top was just rectangular and the bottoms, I don't know if they were like bikini or not.

Also I have seen sexy Halloweeen costumes for toddlers and small children. I also saw a picture of a seven year old or a four year old wearing a huge trojan package as a costume.

Really why do companies make these things? I know, money. Parents think if a company makes it, it must be fine for a kid to wear. Just like how parents will buy into Baby Einstein videos and other educational videos and think they can plant their kid in front of the TV and have them learn that way without them doing any interaction with them because the companies claim it will teach the child. But no they say that to make money and they don't care. They just want to make money. Parents will find short cuts so companies take advantage and make money that way and the parents are gullible. But doctors and experts will say the opposite.

So I guess kids wanting to be like adults is nothing new, it's been around for ages. Great.....

I think when I have a little girl it'll be time to finally figure out how to work a sewing machine. I once saw a leopard print 2 piece that might have been big enough for a 2 year old once. And don't get me started on how short shorts are.