Help About Extreme Picky Eater Son

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I had to deal with that with an autistic stepson. Once he realized he wasnt going to be living off of chicken nuggets and cheesy poofs anymore the hunger gave him a moment of clarity and his food issues suddenly disappeared. Oh sure, was a this or a that he didnt like and thats normal for any kid but cooking two separate meals was a thing of the past. Maybe my solution will work for some, maybe it wont, sure saved us a lot of grief.

When I was six, I was still pretty much living on buttered ground beef patties cut with bread crumbs, buttered spaghetti, scrambled eggs, lettuce, cucumbers, chicken nuggets, white bread (raw dough, when I could get it), and candy.

My poor grandma-- God love her, she catered to me. I might have learned to eat other things sooner...

...or it might have not been worth the meltdowns to deal with it.

I learned to eat other stuff eventually. Now there is a very short list of things I won't eat.

I'd say it's not worth forcing at this point-- just keep offering new things at home, where it's safe for him to have massive meltdowns until he eventually tries other things.

In public?? Well, if trying to educate people about autism here in the wonderful US is pointless, trying to do it in Turkey is probably completely pointless. I wonder if it would be easier to tell them that other foods make him vomit, or that he has terrible troubles with his teeth and it is very painful for him to eat other things??

Not knowing what help is available in Turkey, I would focus more on getting him to be able to duplicate the process of eating safely. The mechanics of that are light years more important than the variety of food he eats (as long as you can get proper nutrition into him somehow---even with vitamins)

I understand your concerns, and that it is problematic when people stare (or are rude enough to say things) when they see picky eating and presume it to be bratty, spoiled, entitled behavior. I also have a child that generally looks "fine" and when he doesn't look "fine" comes off as poorly behaved as opposed to autistic. I just got myself to where I don't care, which is probably easier for me, because I think my own autistic tendencies make it easier for me not to care what people think. I know this is harder for others to do.

It is much better, though, if you can get to that place, because then you can focus more on what you need to do for your child and family.

Because of my own AS nature, I'm guessing my kids, if I do manage to have them, will have at least some AS traits.

I'm in FULL agreement with not caring about what other parents think. This gets SO MANY parents in trouble when dealing with their AS kids!! Parents of AS kids will let other parents talk them into techniques better suited for a NT, alienating their children from them (or worse) in the process. I'll probably simply tell any rude, judging parents (of children nothing like mine) "My child is NOT your child." (those literal, exact words, and ONLY those words, with emphasis on the NOT) if I say anything at all.

And yes, a multivitamin is a wonderful thing if you're worried about proper nutrition. I really need to be taking more of those myself!

Here's my opinion. My daughter was probably about as picky as your son sounds when she was his age. I tried a few different "techniques" to try to "correct" it, but eventually I pretty much gave up. Of all the things on this planet that there are that I can try to work with her on, her picky eating habits just didn't seem that important. So, I pretty much gave up.

When she was 5 and started eating lunch with kids at school every day, a strange thing happened. She started to eat different things. Not a wide variety, but new things started being introduced. Then I started to be able to buy a variety of kinds of chicken nuggets without problem. I could place a non-preferred food on her plate without setting her off. I never made a big deal out of it, and at first she didn't even need to try it. I just served her everything I made and she either ate it or she didn't.

Then a couple of odd but happy successes happened. She agreed to try bacon one day, which caused her to conclude "Just because something looks disgusting doesn't mean it tastes disgusting." If I catch her in the right mood, she will try many things. She almost never likes them, but she will try them. She is 8 now. There are certain things that I will "make" her try, but other things I never will, because I know she has a negative sensory reaction to them.

She is still a picky eater. Nothing on her plate can touch. She wants a new utensil for each thing. But she is getting better. On her own, and pretty much on her own terms. One of the things that helped was when I finally understood what "sensory issues" means. Those over-easy eggs that her brother and I love? They feel, literally, like congealed slime in her mouth. It's not just unpleasant. It's repulsive. I see no reason to force her to eat things she finds repulsive. And she won't eat many things that "(American) kids love." No mac and cheese. No spaghetti. No hamburgers. No grilled cheese. No soup. But I do find that the older she gets, the more willing she is to try things.

But she will always be a picky eater. It's just that it doesn't really matter to me anymore. I derive pleasure from trying new and exciting foods. She derives pleasure from eating the same thing over and over again. Who's to say one is right and one is wrong?

The only thing that I really am working with her on, though, is her reaction to non-preferred foods. I don't want her loudly declaring "EW! That is DISGUSTING!" when served dinner at a friend's house! LOL!

We can certainly relate and it's frustrating. My son (diagnosed with Autism) is insanely picky. We have about 5 or 6 food choices for him as well. We celebrate the little victories. On the weekend he FINALLY ate daddy's home-cooked pancakes for breakfast that weren't from the toaster. He even had syrup (first time!).

His pediatrician referred us to a dietitian. We actually meet with her this afternoon to try and help us. I'm not sure if she's dealt with autistic children much but we'll see how it goes. Maybe she'll have some ideas I can share.

Will he drink any type of meal replacement shakes or eat any meal replacement bars? There are several brands, but I'm not sure what is available in Turkey. Vitamins are also good. That would help just to make sure he is getting enough calories and nutrition to be healthy.

My advice is similar to some that has already been given. I would probably let him progress at his own pace when it comes to new food, as long as he is able to get proper nutrition from supplements and the foods he will eat. Keep offering him new foods, but don't force him to eat them. It seems like a lot of picky eaters grow out of it on their own as they get older.

That said, I do think trying similar foods might be a good idea or at least worth a shot. I know you said that he doesn't seem to have any similar preferences with the foods that he does like, but you can start a bit smaller than that. Since he likes chocolate, have him try some other types of chocolate (dark chocolate, white chocolate, chocolate with nuts, chocolate with caramel, they even make some unusual flavors like spicy chocolate or chocolate with sea salt) and see if he might taste and like any of them. If that goes well, you can try moving to other things that are shaped similarly to chocolate bars like chocolate flavored protein bars, and then to less similar things. You can do the same thing with hamburgers (have him try chicken burgers, veggie burgers, or even start smaller with a hamburger on a different kind of bun or with different toppings, or from a different restaurant) and pasta (start small with different shaped pastas).

Good luck with everything.