Terrible 2s & Screaming..

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A buffet place would probably be good because then he could get food right away. There aren't too many around, but it's a good idea. The psychologist who diagnosed him said that we should expose him to different things- allow him to be around other people- otherwise he may never learn. Fast food type places and buffet places for now sounds like a good plan. Otherwise, we eat at home. If mommy & daddy ever get time to ourselves, then we can go to restaurants.

He's almost 3, so as of right now they consider him severely autistic.


Yes, I am glad there are forums like this.

For Easter, there were 10 of us (+ my son). We decided to go to an Easter dinner out of town. It was like a buffet and didn't eat until 1:30 because of reservations. When he got to be too much, my boyfriend took him outside. He did alright.

The screaming, pinching, scratching, and hitting is getting pretty out of hand. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's cute to be disruptive and finds it amusing when people are in pain. :-/ I have some bruises on my arms. I tried to ignore it and not react to it. Doesn't work- he keeps doing it until I can't take it anymore. Tried telling him "No" and giving him something to squeeze. Been trying time out. I'm just not sure how to handle it. Any suggestions?

Hopefully when we move in the middle of May, he will get more therapy. It's going to be a huge change and I know he doesn't do well with change either. He was screaming so loud at his dad's (my boyfriend's) apartment, that I had to take him home.

Whoa two don't live together?

My son is NT so I don't know if this will work with yours but when mine would start hurting me and not listening, I always threaten to kick him out of my room (I don't mean literally kick him) and I follow through if he does it again. It works. I also threaten to put him in his room too and that also works. I also threaten to kick him off my chair if he hurts me. Luckily my son doesn't do any of those things you described but him digging his body into me or him swinging his head and hitting me with it all is uncomfortable and the fact I am nine months pregnant so him trying to get on me also hurts or is uncomfortable to have extra weight on me. He does pretty good listening.

On what basis do you think he thinks it is cute/amusing, and are you sure? I ask this for a couple of reasons. Kids on the spectrum do not always give appropriate signals, and may laugh and giggle inappropriately and it may not mean the same as when an NT kid does that. It doesn't mean you tolerate it, but it may mean you have to handle it differently.

My son went through a stage when he would appear to do scientific studies to see what would make people upset because he was trying to figure it out. What I mean by that is that like a toddler throwing his food on the floor over and over again, he would do things to piss people off, and repeat them to see if he could predict reactions. It was because he did not understand.

Luckily, now he has a better idea about how people react when upset, (I think) and no longer manufacturers these things and doesn't feel he has to do it -for science.- (Big Bang Theory reference to Sheldon--not the words he would use) He asks us if we are upset/angry when we confuse him with a reaction. You can see the empathy, and that he does not like it now. It was not always so clear, if that makes sense. So, if you think he is intentionally trying to get a reaction, it may not be as bad as you think. (Laughter can also be a sign of discomfort, sometimes, too)

As far as strategies, we just got through it by being as consistent and calm as possible. If you are too overwrought it can encourage it because of the drama, and if you do not respond at all, he doesn't learn the thing he is trying (maybe) to learn. So, I would try to remain calm, tell him as specifically as possible why I was upset, and punish consistently with whatever it was I felt was a fair punishment. It can also re-emerge when he has new people to test, especially if they respond differently that he is used to. Consistency is really key.

My boyfriend (his dad) actually lives about 2 hours away. My son & I moved to my hometown with my parents when he was born. Kind of complicated, but my boyfriend I think was having a hard time adjusting to the fact he was going to be a father. I couldn't not work and make rent so financial reasons too. He has Asperger's. We are doing pretty good right now and where he lives (and I used to live) has more therapy for him so we are moving back- into a house that we are going to rent. My boyfriend is going to live in his apartment for a while.. not too far from where we will live.

Yeah, I've tried threatening different things. I actually try to keep my bedroom door closed because he likes to throw a bunch of random stuff on my bed (clothes- dirty or clean, shampoo bottles, his toy cars, etc.). When he gets out of hand, I kick him out. No, not literally. It probably won't work for us. :-/

When he's pinching me or screaming, he will look me straight in the eye. Once he sees I've reacted, he will just smile. But I guess it's possible I could be looking at it all wrong.

For example, last night we were at my boyfriend's house. My son kept screaming and my boyfriend would get off his computer and come tell him "No". Then he let out a quick screech, turn around in his chair, and just looked at him and smiled like "Are you gonna come over here?". Or maybe it's for attention?!

At OT one day he started screaming, she said she covered her ears and didn't react to see what he would do. And he started laughing.

It could be he is playing around with people's reactions. I remember it took a long while for my son to realize I could actually get hurt. Once he did, he would start kissing my boo-boos and all of that. Before they get to that point, it could be they think the faces and reactions are funny.

That's probably what it is, but I wish he would stop. I tried to show him the bruises on my arms and scratches. So frustrating! He also starting laughing one day and couldn't figure out why. Then, I realized that I had my glasses off. When things are different, he finds it amusing. Or he started laughing at me while I was getting dressed. Also thinks it's funny when I don't have clothes on. He's always right there and likes to pinch my bare skin. I've gotten to the point where I have to kick him out of my room when I get dressed.

My son has faceblindness, so when he was little he used to cry if I did my hair differently or when it was wet. He was using my hair to recognize me. Now he thinks it is funny when my hair is wet, which is a vast improvement.

He thinks he is Japanese when his hair is wet b/c it gets straighter and darker, and he is really into Japanese. He also, needless to say, does not understand race or ethnicity. I have tried to explain that we are not from Japan and don't have Japanese ancestors, but that appears to be irreverent.

I think it is actually pretty neat that he does not see race or ethnicity, but it makes it hard to teach social studies content.

Have you tried dong it back to him? My mom used to do stuff back to me all the time and it always got me to stop because I didn't like her doing it to me. That would be after she has told me to stop. Sometimes parents just have to show their kids how it feels to get them to stop. My mom used to have my brother hit our brother back whenever he hit him because nothing else worked so Mom told him next time he hits him, he has her permission to hit him back" so my brother would hit him every time he hit him and he stopped because eventually because he didn't like getting hit by his brother. It always hurt because he had a strong force of doing it.

ASDMommyASDKid makes a REALLY important point here: just because your child seems amused, does not mean he is. The more my son smiles and laughs, the less he is actually in control of his own actions and reactions. In my son, that apparent "humor" is actually a sign of severe stress. I did eventually learn to see the difference, I can tell from his eyes (wild v. calm), but when he was a toddler I often misread it. It is really important to be careful with how you assess his reactions here, because you can easily make things worse (MUCH worse) by trying to treat an overload issue as a behavior one.

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Yeah, seems to be pretty common that they react when things are different? I've been gradually trying to put things in boxes, but I don't know if that's really affecting him or he could sense that I feel uneasy about the move- because it's going to be so different for him.

Yeah, I've tried doing it back to him.. doesn't seem to make much of a difference. It's an every day thing now. I don't think there is that much different really happening to cause him to act out. So it's just kind of a guessing game right now. I am going to try putting him in his room when he acts out for a few minutes so maybe he has time to calm down. Sure wish kids came with manuals!

Is this not a phase that NT children also go through (I'm not being sarcastic)? My son did the kick-you-and-laugh thing when he was small, but I never thought it was abnormal. But, I thought a lot of things he did/does were/are normal, and have since discovered they are not. Maybe this is one of them.

He is my only child and don't plan on having any more. Also, don't really know anyone one else with kids his age. I guess what I'm trying to figure out if it's a 2 year old thing or autistic thing.. combination of both? Sensory issues? I really don't know. How can I tell? Maybe once we move and get more therapy, we will have more answers.