04 Jun 2014, 10:40 pm
04 Jun 2014, 10:45 pm
04 Jun 2014, 10:48 pm
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I would echo what was already said. If you can enjoy what he enjoys with him, you are building the foundations for him to try what you want to do, too.
My son was into the lining up/sorting kinds of things, and I would just sit there and do it with him. Sometimes he would cry if his fine motor skills did not allow him to align things up perfectly. Sometimes he would cry if I would try to line things up not according to his intended schema. (He would often line things up in size order or according to color, and I did not immediately know this.)
I learned so much about him by doing this. I occasionally tried to do the "normal things" and honestly am not convinced in the logic in pushing that too hard. I was driving myself crazy (b/c I was advised to) with it for awhile and then started only revisiting feeding stuffed animals and all that stuff sometimes to see if the window was there.
I don't necessarily tell you to do that b/c I know it is not the standard advice, but I personally don't have regrets about not pushing harder with it. Maybe more persistence would have sped things up, but it seemed to me that when he would mimic me to make me happy it was not the same as when he was developmentally really ready and doing it spontaneously. He wasn't building empathy from it it until then, and he had other ways to work on abstraction that he preferred.
He mainly seemed bemused that I was feeding an inanimate object and maybe thought I was not so bright.
He was humoring me, and I don't necessarily know that developmental readiness is furthered by getting a kid to humor you. Emile may be able to speak to that theory and what the thought process is on that, but we seemed happiest just enjoying my son's interests at that point.
. Interesting seems your son understood more than he showed. I try to have fun. He used to respond more to humor but lately it been harder to concept. It seems that he is more bothered by sensory issues than before.
My son was into the lining up/sorting kinds of things, and I would just sit there and do it with him. Sometimes he would cry if his fine motor skills did not allow him to align things up perfectly. Sometimes he would cry if I would try to line things up not according to his intended schema. (He would often line things up in size order or according to color, and I did not immediately know this.)
I learned so much about him by doing this. I occasionally tried to do the "normal things" and honestly am not convinced in the logic in pushing that too hard. I was driving myself crazy (b/c I was advised to) with it for awhile and then started only revisiting feeding stuffed animals and all that stuff sometimes to see if the window was there.
I don't necessarily tell you to do that b/c I know it is not the standard advice, but I personally don't have regrets about not pushing harder with it. Maybe more persistence would have sped things up, but it seemed to me that when he would mimic me to make me happy it was not the same as when he was developmentally really ready and doing it spontaneously. He wasn't building empathy from it it until then, and he had other ways to work on abstraction that he preferred.
He mainly seemed bemused that I was feeding an inanimate object and maybe thought I was not so bright.
He was humoring me, and I don't necessarily know that developmental readiness is furthered by getting a kid to humor you. Emile may be able to speak to that theory and what the thought process is on that, but we seemed happiest just enjoying my son's interests at that point.04 Jun 2014, 10:53 pm
04 Jun 2014, 10:55 pm
04 Jun 2014, 11:22 pm
05 Jun 2014, 7:59 am
Bkdad82 wrote:
ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
I would echo what was already said. If you can enjoy what he enjoys with him, you are building the foundations for him to try what you want to do, too.
My son was into the lining up/sorting kinds of things, and I would just sit there and do it with him. Sometimes he would cry if his fine motor skills did not allow him to align things up perfectly. Sometimes he would cry if I would try to line things up not according to his intended schema. (He would often line things up in size order or according to color, and I did not immediately know this.)
I learned so much about him by doing this. I occasionally tried to do the "normal things" and honestly am not convinced in the logic in pushing that too hard. I was driving myself crazy (b/c I was advised to) with it for awhile and then started only revisiting feeding stuffed animals and all that stuff sometimes to see if the window was there.
I don't necessarily tell you to do that b/c I know it is not the standard advice, but I personally don't have regrets about not pushing harder with it. Maybe more persistence would have sped things up, but it seemed to me that when he would mimic me to make me happy it was not the same as when he was developmentally really ready and doing it spontaneously. He wasn't building empathy from it it until then, and he had other ways to work on abstraction that he preferred.
He mainly seemed bemused that I was feeding an inanimate object and maybe thought I was not so bright. He was humoring me, and I don't necessarily know that developmental readiness is furthered by getting a kid to humor you. Emile may be able to speak to that theory and what the thought process is on that, but we seemed happiest just enjoying my son's interests at that point.
. Interesting seems your son understood more than he showed. I try to have fun. He used to respond more to humor but lately it been harder to concept. It seems that he is more bothered by sensory issues than before.My son was into the lining up/sorting kinds of things, and I would just sit there and do it with him. Sometimes he would cry if his fine motor skills did not allow him to align things up perfectly. Sometimes he would cry if I would try to line things up not according to his intended schema. (He would often line things up in size order or according to color, and I did not immediately know this.)
I learned so much about him by doing this. I occasionally tried to do the "normal things" and honestly am not convinced in the logic in pushing that too hard. I was driving myself crazy (b/c I was advised to) with it for awhile and then started only revisiting feeding stuffed animals and all that stuff sometimes to see if the window was there.
I don't necessarily tell you to do that b/c I know it is not the standard advice, but I personally don't have regrets about not pushing harder with it. Maybe more persistence would have sped things up, but it seemed to me that when he would mimic me to make me happy it was not the same as when he was developmentally really ready and doing it spontaneously. He wasn't building empathy from it it until then, and he had other ways to work on abstraction that he preferred.
He mainly seemed bemused that I was feeding an inanimate object and maybe thought I was not so bright.
He was humoring me, and I don't necessarily know that developmental readiness is furthered by getting a kid to humor you. Emile may be able to speak to that theory and what the thought process is on that, but we seemed happiest just enjoying my son's interests at that point.It is common developmentally even for NTs for expressive skills to lag receptive ones. The things is, all the times when in my hubris, I decided he was too advanced for something, it turned out he just had not gotten there yet. His bemusement about me feeding an object was b/c he was smart enough to know it was stupid; the delay was that he couldn't get past that to view it imaginatively and want to pretend it was real. He got there eventually, just not on schedule.
As far as sensory issues go, kids can get more or less aversive, can switch from aversive to seeking and back again. Sensory aversion is harder to deal with sometimes b/c it can be hard to strip out all the things that bother him. There are ways to work on desensitizing, too, but I always proceeded with caution on that one. You want to move very slowly, and I would do it at a different time than interaction time.
Regarding your other post on play. If he doesn't understand joint play, that is fine. Parallel play is typical at that age. Try playing with a similar toy in a similar way. You can build up to joint play. Does your child build anything like towers or does he line things up? I used that example b/c that is the best way I found to work on joint play with someone who would not do it as his first choice. It is easier to understand you are working together when you are actually working on the same thing. Depending on what your child likes, try to be his assistant in whatever it is.
05 Jun 2014, 4:03 pm
17 Jun 2014, 11:30 pm
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