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Terrible parenting tragedy in Poland

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BuyerBeware
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14 Jul 2014, 1:09 pm

I ALWAYS check-- even if I KNOW I am alone in the car, I ALWAYS check the back seats. Especially since our van has tinted windows.

All leaving a kid in the car is, 95% of the time, is a brain fart. Change in routine-- even normal people do a lot of stuff on autopilot-- or preoccupation with something else.

It only takes one screw-up. Just one.

People laugh at me, but-- I check. It almost happened to me once, and now I check. Every. Single. Time.


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DW_a_mom
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14 Jul 2014, 1:26 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I was in Montana and I drove over to Target while my husband walked with my son all the way down to the store and I parked and went inside. My husband and son had just arrive at the same time I did and we both went inside and he asks "Where's Mary-Beth?" I go "oh shute" and bolt out the doors and across the parking lot and she was still soundly asleep in her carrier as if nothing happened and it was about 90 degrees outside. She wasn't over heated or hurt and she looked normal like nothing happened. Good thing my husband said something or who knows how much longer she would have been in that car before I realized. He said I was just distracted and I decided to keep my darn purse in the back seat at all times whenever I have her but I was in such a rush I just tossed it in the front seat of my car and moved it across the parking lot and got out. I usually keep it back there but not this time. Luckily no one said anything and it was embarrassing. Now I have some worries I will have a brain fart again and do it again and not be lucky next time. My husband didn't think it was a big deal but I did.


I've never forgotten the time I forgot to do my son's car seat buckles.

All young parents do have moments they seem to go completely brain dead, ALL, and it is only by the grace of God that it doesn't turn into a tragedy. I know your husband didn't want you to feel bad about it, especially since everything turned out OK, but I think it is important for us to drill these events into our minds so that they don't happen again. I am just glad it turned out well in your case.


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Eureka-C
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14 Jul 2014, 4:05 pm

I thought this was a pretty cool invention. I would buy it if my kids were still little.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O030U2V8Mu0[/youtube]


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League_Girl
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14 Jul 2014, 7:56 pm

Eureka-C wrote:
I thought this was a pretty cool invention. I would buy it if my kids were still little.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O030U2V8Mu0[/youtube]


I'll be waiting for the mommywars to occur in the comments and smug parents saying how they won't be needing one and only "neglectful" parents do and to "put away their darn phones and pay more attention to their kids." :lol:

It wasn't surprising what I read in the first comment.


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BuyerBeware
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14 Jul 2014, 11:14 pm

Well, I don't know about buying one, but I have a smart twelve-year-old with a WonderLoom. Bet she could get busy and MAKE me one. Just something that I hook over the door to remind me that there's a kid back there...

...not, of course, that there's ever NOT a kid back there. :lol: Generally if there isn't a kid back there, it's a special enough occasion to be memorable. But now that someone has come up with the idea, I think I want one. I'd probably feel better with, like, a stretchy cord hooked from the five-year-old's ankle to the toddler's ankle to my belt loop. That would probably help with the hot-car accident nightmares.


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elkclan
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15 Jul 2014, 9:29 am

LeagueGirl - I've never forgotten my son in the car, maybe, partly I think because my habit has been to put my bag in the back seat and has been for long before I had a kid. This wasn't something I decided to do because of this danger just a lucky coincidence. But also I live in the UK so days where it gets really hot in cars aren't that many (though we do have some!). Maybe also because my mom forgot me a lot at various different places so I'm always worried about doing that to my son.

Different people handle 'near-tragedy' in different ways - so your husband saying it wasn't that big a deal may have been his way of dealing with it. But you are right it is a big deal. I think it's a good thing that you told that story. I think there are many parents who think they would 'never do that' - but the more people who say something like "Yes, I forgot my child in the car, I was reminded he/she was there and I got them out unharmed, but I DID forget! And I love my kid and I'm a responsible parent." - the more people will be aware that anyone could forget - and even if it's only once it could have horrible consequences.



ASDMommyASDKid
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15 Jul 2014, 12:04 pm

No criticism from me. I am extremely scatterbrained especially when I am hyper-focusing etc. It isn't a matter of being a good parent or a bad parent --- It is focus and memory.



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15 Jul 2014, 4:04 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Eureka-C wrote:
I thought this was a pretty cool invention. I would buy it if my kids were still little.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O030U2V8Mu0[/youtube]


I'll be waiting for the mommywars to occur in the comments and smug parents saying how they won't be needing one and only "neglectful" parents do and to "put away their darn phones and pay more attention to their kids." :lol:

It wasn't surprising what I read in the first comment.


There are no perfect parents. For everything someone thinks *they* would never do, there is something else they do do that you and I would consider a negative but they think is no big deal. All any of us can do is our best, and be sure to have the best information available upon which to make our decisions. The only time I will question a parent is when I think they may be missing some key insight or information. Or, well, it is just insanely egregious. Outside of that - well, every family is different. Mommy wars make me sad - why is it so difficult to understand that what works for person A can't always be transferred to person B, or that just because person C does everything completely different, does NOT mean person D must be doing something "wrong"? There are few magic formulas in parenting beyond consistency and clarity.


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League_Girl
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17 Jul 2014, 1:13 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Eureka-C wrote:
I thought this was a pretty cool invention. I would buy it if my kids were still little.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O030U2V8Mu0[/youtube]


I'll be waiting for the mommywars to occur in the comments and smug parents saying how they won't be needing one and only "neglectful" parents do and to "put away their darn phones and pay more attention to their kids." :lol:

It wasn't surprising what I read in the first comment.


There are no perfect parents. For everything someone thinks *they* would never do, there is something else they do do that you and I would consider a negative but they think is no big deal. All any of us can do is our best, and be sure to have the best information available upon which to make our decisions. The only time I will question a parent is when I think they may be missing some key insight or information. Or, well, it is just insanely egregious. Outside of that - well, every family is different. Mommy wars make me sad - why is it so difficult to understand that what works for person A can't always be transferred to person B, or that just because person C does everything completely different, does NOT mean person D must be doing something "wrong"? There are few magic formulas in parenting beyond consistency and clarity.



I know that, I was just saying hat is what people are going to say in their argument about leaving kids in cars. There are still parents out there who refuse to believe it can happen to anyone and that it could be them too. But they are more likely to have it happen to them IMO because they won't be getting in the habit to always check the backseat or leave their purse back there. I notice parents who judge will be fine with other mistakes we make but not be fine with other mistakes we make like they find it okay to forget to drop your kid off at daycare but don't find it okay to forget your kid in the car. To me that is hypocritical. basically they are fine with parents making mistakes they have made but when they make the ones they have never made, they judge. I am curious to see what happens when they do make a mistake they were judgmental about.


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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.