How to explain the today's workplace to my parents?

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I thought a non-profit was a type of corporation.

How do you do this?



How do you come this conclusion? What is your reasoning?



What did he do?



Can you elaborate further on this please?



How?



How?



What do you mean by sharing goals and values?



What do you mean by this and how do you handle the worse? How does one change how one deals with it?




Again, how does he follow your advice? What specifics should he do?



What are stock options? What do you mean by this? Aspie1 is further along than I am. I couldn't even make heads or tails on how to get into the tech field. I wracked my brains out for 2-3 years trying to figure it out and finally claimed and was awarded SSDI.



What are the differences then?


Again, how? If this was true then why do so many on the spectrum end up not being able to get or keep a job and possibly end up having to claim SSDI benefits? Your answers so far are to vague and ambiguous.



Why do people keep concentrating on beliefs instead of specifics on what we should do to make it happen. It's like telling me to believe that one can add without telling me the specific steps on how to add numbers. To tell me and him to believe in ourselves is clichéd, hackneyed, useless and means nothing without substance. This is my response of what you say here. To treat belief and attitude as the starting point and the antecedent instead of the consequent is putting the cart before the horse and makes no sense to me. I don't get it.

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress. ... /attitude/



How can one just change his attitude on a time when attitude and emotions are a reaction to an external stimulus. Doesn't one have to change the external stimulus to change the attitude. Why does America focus on Attitude as though it is a religion at the expense of specific actions in the environment? Again, what is the underlying philosophy to this? I don't get it.



How is it biologically and logically possible to do this without removing the external stimuli that causes the negative attitude in the first place?



You're asking him to drive a car with square wheels.

Technically, yes, but the driving forces are different. Many times people use the term corporation to mean "large, profit-driven business."

Gosh, Cubedemon, I wish had time to break all that down, but I don't. I know those are complicated concepts but this is a message board and I can't always give the step by step instructions. I can't imagine anyone actually reading it if I did try to write it all out. All I was trying to do was to put out some inspiration to hopefully twist the view point a bit; if someone wants to affect those changes, they would probably be best off working with a local job counselor, or setting up meetings with successful people they know to talk about how to implement these types of ideas.

I re-read what I wrote and I have the feeling that I may have criticized you to harshly and I do apologize.

I will say that I have looked up local job counselors. They're around 300-800 a pop. Some people can't afford this.



How does one meet these people and set something up? Where does one find them? I am so completely lost.



I don't follow. How does something like this inspire? For me, once I was able to obtain specifics on how to switch lanes for driving I was more inspired and more confident. Why is confidence as the antecedent instead of the consequent?

I never read this particular book, but I came to the same conclusion after working in IT/Tech for ~ 20 years (after having ~ 13 jobs during that timeframe).

Being a contractor, I don?t care if the client asks me to work additional hours. As I am simply exchanging my time for their money. I don?t care about my client?s ethical lapses. It?s simply not my business. I don?t care if my client treats its employees like dirt. It?s simply not my business.

I just show up, do what I am asked (essentially doing any work that is reasonable, within the spirit of the contract) and ensure that I provide the value that my client is paying for.

The work certainly isn?t as interesting. But, it eliminates a whole bunch of unnecessary stress in my life (which at times, led to depression).

I hope this helps.

As the person originally seeking "inspiration", allow me to point out I got none of it. All I could think was: "Good god, not another one who thinks you can magically change your beliefs/attitude, and success will come pouring down like manna on the Israelites!" I change my beliefs the old way: with tobacco and alcohol. Not that it works too well, but does a halfway decent job of blocking out the original beliefs.

I've spoken to career counselors before; they're not cheap. I decided to stick with an entirely different course of action, that I will not post on here, because I wouldn't be surprised if my boss bugged my home computer. (I occasionally have to VPN in from it.) DW_a_mom, thank you for trying. Cubedemon, thank you for backing me up. But now, let's let this fade into the pass pile of past threads like the rest of them.

It was what I was thinking as well.

Here is what I wrote.

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress. ... /attitude/

https://whyifailedinamerica1.wordpress. ... urs-truly/

I respect DW a lot and because I respect her there are things about it that I say is best left unsaid.



No, they're not. I've looked them up. How are we expected to afford them?(rhetorical question)



Yes, if you believe this then please don't say anything. I would have to ask, how and why would he or she bug your home computer?



My friend, I'm down with doing that. It's so frustrating and I simply don't get it.

I will say this. I feel like American society is cult like. http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Why do people in the USA repeat the same slogans without questioning and examining them? Let me put it to you this way. Brawndo is the thirst mutilator and it has electrolytes that make plants grow. I ask them what exactly is an electrolyte and how do electrolytes make plants grow? American people repeat the same phrase over and over again and will not nor cannot define their terms. Raises voice and yells "WTF is an electrolyte." Person yells back "It's what makes plants grow." I get louder "How does it make plants grow?" They state "Brawndo is the thirst mutilator that has electrolytes that make plants grow." I do Head Desk, Head Desk until I have a black and blue mark on my forehead.

Well ... I said from the start it wouldn't be easy.

Those of us who aren't naturally optimistic and confident learn it the hard way. Or when you finally get a bit of luck and decide not to waste it.

Yes, I wrote "us," because I didn't start my work life very smoothly, and I was pretty negative about it. I guess the change started with some luck, and no way was I going to waste it.

Perhaps it would be easier to suggest, then, that you try to find a job that embodies things that can make you happy (or at least content), instead of another of the same old, same old. I stuck it out in a job I HATED (and they hated me, but found me useful enough), started taking classes at night to keep my interest flowing, and through those classes I got that bit of luck. I stuck it out the whole time with an eye open for a better opportunity. Somewhere along the way I had learned how to spin those failed jobs, "they just weren't the right match for me."

The important thing is to stop assuming that the next job is going to be awful, too. I am sorry if you can't manage that, but we get what we seek, and if you seek awful jobs (because you assume that is all there is), you find awful jobs.

Maybe this story will be more useful:

My son recently got a really interesting opportunity for a 17 year old, helping staff and manage a new type of summer camp that had an international base. I've since learned that some other teens in the area were angry that they never had a chance to get involved or apply, and that they wondered how my son got in. So how did he? Well, first, he had met the people creating it years ago by going on an outing they sponsored. Then he kept up that contact by engaging with those people on volunteer projects he was putting together. It may seem counter-intuitive that inviting someone to be free labor is a way to keep up a contact, but in this case we knew those people had an interest and, so, it was. Nor did it hurt that I sometimes saw one of the women in the grocery store. Back in December, one of the women saw my son at a social event and mentioned what they were trying to create, and asked if he would be interested in helping as a volunteer. He said yes. But it took more than that, because this woman got busy and forgot who all she had talked to about it. But my son hadn't forgotten, he knew it was an opportunity he was really interested in, and so he checked in with the organizers about it. Those check ins re-affirmed, in their eyes, his interest and his dedication to the project. And he got in. He worked super hard at it (no joke, 14 hour days) but LOVED every minute of it, because the project really was 100% up his ally. He made contacts literally around the world doing this project. And he even got paid at the end, which was a surprise to him. He still says he'd be willing to do it again for no pay; he is that positive about what they were doing and the people he was working with.

Keeping up the contacts was never natural to him, I admit that. He initially worried it wasn't appropriate, due to relative roles. I nudged. I knew he genuinely liked and respected these people, and they him. So why not? People WANT to share their knowledge, information and contacts, as long as it comes at no cost to them; it is a feel good thing for the giver. We had no idea those contacts could ever lead to something else; we were maintaining them simply because there was like and respect there.

I know that career jobs are a whole other thing than volunteer jobs and kid's summer jobs, but a lot of the same ideas apply. Be involved in the world around you and build a network, maintain contacts with people you like, do things that you truly love, and express enthusiasm when ideas about potential future opportunities are discussed.

Yes, I KNOW all the above is MORE DIFFICULT when you are on the autistic spectrum. But from what I'm seeing with the teens in our area (that is the ASD group I have the most contact with), it isn't usually impossible. You do need help and support, yes; my son has managed to get a lot of people in his corner, and it helps immensely.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 02 Sep 2014, 7:34 pm, edited 5 times in total.

They don't have to be "successful" in all the traditional ways; happy in their work lives will do.

And if you, yourself, don't have a social circle of any sort, ask relatives if they have friends you might speak to for job advice.

I've never hired a job counselor; I've just listened to the people around me, and shifted through that variety of opinions to figure out what can work for me.

I guess I do want to apologize for bringing up something that really can't be properly conveyed over a message board, and making suggestions I can't accurately break down over a message board.

Aspie1

Your strategy of using your time to find a better role within your current company is both an effective one and one oft used by NTs. I used to feel like you do about 'brown-nosing' but it's actually building good relationships. That's not a bad thing to do in your workplace. In fact, it's a GOOD thing.

BTW, non-profits can be just as grinding an experience. I've worked in government, quangos and non-profits for my entire career. As others have pointed out it's more about shared values and working with people you respect and like who respect your contribution and skills. It's not easy to find, but not impossible either. But you have to be able to give as well as get.

What does it mean to "Build Good Relationships?" Can you please provide a detailed definition if you don't mind?

He means "building good relationships" in a "business" context. Yes, it's capitalism--but this is required, alas, within the context of America (and of the world).

There are many components which complement well with "building relationships" in a personal sense; however, the pragmatic considerations are greater. One must think about the "bottom line." This could be said to be "mercenary."

It's not "perfect," by any means--but it's better, in many cases, than the alternative.