BIG problem! Need some advice... sorry for length.

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my one word is LAWYER. tell them you're going to contact the best special ed lawyer in your area for advice.( make sure to get the name of whoever this is in your area)....sometimes things change just with this simple word, lawyer.
i had to do this with my son's old school~they'd haul him into the office & question him about things he supposedly did , because it "couldn't possibly be the popular kid"... i pulled him out of school for his own sanity. we got an advocate, and were able to prove that the school wasn't a supportive enough environment for our son.

2 words, HOME SCHOOLING. If your child is being picked on like that and they won't believe him then pull him out of school

If that school does not manage to work with you and is not truly willing to do so, pull your son out of school if possible. I made the experience as a kid, my mom got no help from school and instead was ignored and not taken seriously and it didn't get anywhere in two years. I had to leave eventually, I just stopped talking in school altogether and was thrown out.

If you feel that nobody is willing to help you soon or that the school tries to push you into compromises you don't like a 100%, look for another school for your son. I don't think it matters much whether your son hit that boy or not, when it is known to you and others that he is being bullied and was bullied even before.

Oh, and yes, extreme stress can cause that kind of "memory loss" - it's more common in people who can't handle stress well, like autistic people. But as I said, from what I gathered, your son having hit the other child or not wouldn't matter much anyway. And the principle seems sure that she knows what has happened when she wasn't present and the parents are sure very protective of their children, so I don't think you can convince them that your son is certainly not the source of the trouble.

HELLO, I have a 16 yr old daaughter with ASP and she has spent most of her school life either being singeled out or bullyed! I know how you feel there! it does seem to always fall on the kid with the DX.My daughter didnt want to tell me about the bullying ,for fear i would go to the school and get to the bottom of this!! One day one of her classmates actualley threatened her life if she told anyone about what was going on!! when i found out i raised heck at school! The other parents .....they are alot of times not in touch with there kids or dont beleave there kid would ever do this!! Although there are the parents that truly wont tolerate this from there kids......What a sad thing when schools refuse to listen to a parent on this subject!! I feel bad for your son ,there are pranks yes BUT NO KID SHOULD BE PUT THROUGH THIS<PRANKS OR NOT!! !! !! !! Its hard enough for these kids to maintain at school and to fit in,i dont think YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT LIKE ONE OF YOUR REPLYS HAD SAID,I would sugjest you keep doing what it takes to be the best advoct for your son and to heck with neg. comments! I think slowly very slowly the schools are starting to do a bit more like assemblys ext.... but there is along way to go thats for sure! YOU take care ok and be strong for your little guy! P.s HOME SCHOOL ISNT THE ANSWER>>>>>HELLO<her son has ASP,that will only saclude him even more....he needs to learn to be around other kids for his future........Its the schools that need to really come down on this its serious stuff,you cant teach your kids to run from the trouble ,it is us as parents that we need to promote ourselves as advocts for our children!! ! Schools dont know alot in depth knowladge on the ASP spetrum and they can learn a thing or two from a parent who wants this stopped!! As it is becomming more and more children in this country DX with this ,the schools are going to get to the point where they are going to see great changes in the school body and will have much more then a few isolated bullying on there hands! SO mom keep laying the foundation for your son and others to come!! you are doing right,if you feel like the school isnt standing by your son and you and this is out of hand ,then i wouldnt hesitate myself from fileling a report.THAT MAY FOR NOW BE THE ONLY WAY TO BE TAKEN SERIOUS!!

hi kristen,
i sort of know what you're dealing with...just in a different situation. even the best school can be very ignorant or indifferent to any child they deem as a "problem" or not the "norm". my daughter has AS, specific phobias, and is highly gifted. the school has labeled her as LD...and she is in the best public school in our county. educating a school about AS without sounding like an hysterical mother is next to impossible. i can't say what i would do in your situation...i'm not there and i can't see with my own eyes how bad the bullying is. i do think there is a time to let our children fend for themselves and definitly a time to step in as parents...they are children. they have to be taught how to defend themslves because...as in my daughters case...its not in thier nature.
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make sure you find out what your son is entitled to through your school system. i don't know where you are, but a good place to start is wrights law. http://www.wrightslaw.com/ it has helped me tremendously. best of luck...
jan

I am so sorry that you and your son are going through all of these problems, and you were right when you said that we react differently to those types of situations. I've been bullied all my life, but half the time it was just because "I was easy to pick on" and it really is stressful. I've been tothree different schools this year, and I switched mainly because of bullies and the staff didn't understand what I was going through, though I was undiagnosed when I was at the two other schools, my brother registered me and told the staff there, and put it on my file, that he and our doctor were almost positive I had aspergers.

at my first school, the bullying wasn't too severe, but bullying is bullying... But at my second school it was beyond severe, everyday kids would follow me home, and i would often walk through a short alleway because I liked the pattern on the walls, and they would stop me there and kick me, punch me, and call me names. One time they even pulled a knife out and cut me up a bit, and when I got home I was bleeding, cut up, and I couldn't breathe beause I was really shaken, so my brother called the school and they did the same thing. They claimed that they had often seen me provoking them, and that I was the main cause for this, and that the kids that were bullying me were doing it out of self-defense, and that they had a right too.

After about three months of a useless battle that got us absolutely no where, we got a lawyer who specialized in special ed. cases, and things changed immediately, so I would definitely recommend getting a lawyer. When I was getting bullied, I went through depression and was severely stressed out, and that made everything else so much worse.

My lawyer told me to switch schools, and she even went to different schools with my brother and talked to the principals about my condition and what their policies were on bullying/harrassment until they found a school that they were almost sure I would do fine in, and I love the school that htey picked.

And please do not give up, that isp robably the worst thing you could do. Your son needs to be safe, and right now he probably fears going to school every morning, and he is making up things that aren't true just so things can be done with, and the outcome with that could be pretty bad. Your family has rights, and no matter what anyone else says, you need to stick to those rights.

Good luck, and I really really hope that things work out for you.

What a nightmare! Has there been any resolution?

The principal sounds like a bully - I wouldn't count on any rational response from him. Have you gone up the chain of command yet? Director of Special Education and then the Superintendent.

Some ideas: Document everything - dates and details of phone calls, letters, stories recounted by son and other children/parents, your observations. Send letters to higher ups demanding action by return receipt or hand deliver and get a copy that's date stamped. Start doing unscheduled drop-ins at the school, watch at recess, get the word out to other parents to help support your case and to be another pair of ears/eyes. Does your school have a sped parent support group you could contact?

Research IDEA laws or call/hire an advocate/attorney for a consult. Check out www.wrightslaw.com/info/autism.index.htm for more info on special ed law.

Hope you've found something helpful. Good luck and keep us posted.