Asperger and Genetics, Or: Will My Kids Have It?

Post Reply New Topic

Wow. Just...wow, Charloz. I'll be plain here. You are a TERRIBLE person if you don't see why this is all so messed up -- rules to be broken, even when illegally? Lying by omission to a woman who has a right to KNOW, and any decent person would know that -- except you? Just freaking WOW....

Last edited by BirdInFlight on 03 Sep 2014, 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Was the OP a real post or troll post? I am very confused. I answered earnestly and I am getting the feeling I ought not to have.

I am not a terrible person. I would be a terrible person if I would start denying myself rights based on the 'rights' of others. But I don't, because I love myself no less then I love others, and as a result I have to keep my own interests in mind as well a theirs. I feel like I balance the both well.



OP's as real as you, and I am still here. I want to thank you for your serious response about your father, in-laws and offspring. I was unable to reply because I got a lot of personal attacks from another member who reacted very negatively to me. But I genuinely meant (and mean) no offense to anyone.

I'm sure his post and his questions are real, ASDMommy, you're okay there, it's just that this is the same guy who posted another thread stating that he has deliberately withheld his ASD status information when donating at a sperm bank. Which is breaking the law. And now he's admitting that he his not making his fiancee aware of his ASD so that together they can be comfortable about their children possible having it too.

There is NOTHING wrong with having children one knows may inherit one's genes regarding ASD, just to be sure about that and put that out there.

But what I and starvingartist are objecting to regarding this individual is all the deliberate lying by omission, even in a sperm bank where this constitutes an illegal act.

.

Charloz, you don't "love others" AT ALL when you refuse to give them any choice in something that affects their lives and their rights too. You really don't get it, do you?

I think that besides ASD you have a touch of the sociopath in addition, because this is completely sociopathic.

You genuinely don't give a sh!t, do you?

.

If their rights infringe my rights then what worth are they? If their 'right' means they will refuse to have a child by me, as if I am somehow inferior to them and my genes are not worth being passed on, then I don't care about that 'right' as I find it down right discriminating. Think I "get it" perfectly well, BirdInFlight.



I disagree: if I was a sociopath I would selfishly deny the world the survival of my wonderful genes by not procreating, through being honest. They say honesty lasts longest, but if honesty means I get screwed over because they won't have my children, then screw honesty. There's NOTHING sociopathic about that.



I do. I care so much about other people that I make decisions that others sometimes fail to understand... I do this out of love. One day they will thank me.

um, don't hold your breath.

I see.

I read the other thread.

Charloz, I know you did not ask this, but having a child with ASD can have more components to it, then you may realize, depending on your own history.

My husband and I were not diagnosed as children. If I were a child today I would have passed under the radar. My husband is aspie light and he would have never gotten a diagnosis. We understand who we are because of our son. I understand about my father the same way. We did not hide anything, as we did not know. If we knew, we still would have had our son.

That said, parenting a child with an ASD is very different especially if it severe enough to be noticed at a young age. You may know this from your own childhood. I do not know.

In addition to the ethics to the other prospective parent there is also an ethical obligation to your progeny in choosing that parent. Not everyone is equipped to be a good parent to a mild aspie much less a more severe case. It is not about throwing seed around wherever it might plant, presuming the more seeds you plant the better your yield will be. Kids with ASD are not like weeds. (not that NT kids are either) They need to be cared for by someone who can adapt to what is needed.

If you feel you have to hide who you are, that does not bode well. If you feel free to share who you are, and that person accepts it, that person is more likely to make a good parent to your child.

While most of our posters (and all of the regulars) are obviously caring, we have also had posters who were very resentful and parent accordingly. We have also had people post about horrendous childhoods with that kind of parent. These posts are very sad, and you would not like that type of parent to be a parent or co-parent of your child. It is not just about them screening you. You also need to screen them.

Edited for syntax

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 03 Sep 2014, 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think I'm going to be sick. Your lack of understanding astounds me.
What you need to realise is you have genes for Autism Spectrum Disorder. That encompasses a lot more than Asperger's. You have the genes to pass down severe autism to one of your children. I don't mean to say there is anything wrong with people who are severely autistic but you don't seem to comprehend that autism is not just presented as AS. It can be very disabling as it is a pervasive developmental disability. I think you should be honest about any genetically inheritable disability/condition/whatever you want to call it because there is a chance you will pass it on but to a much greater extent.
The reason it is immoral/illegal to lie to a sperm bank is because those mothers/families may not have the means to care for a disabled child. They did not sign up for the increased likelihood of an autistic child.
Your fiancee is a bit different situationally however you still need to be open about any and all genetic conditions before procreating with someone. That is just common decency in my opinion.
Besides, if one of your children does have an ASD, those women who received your sperm or your fiancee could potentially get very upset. Those women and the sperm bank could easily sue you for withholding information. Your fiancee could leave you and take your existing kids with her because with your lack of empathy, you don't seem like you would make a good single parent. Is that a risk you are willing to take?

My Asperger's/Autism literally came out of nowhere!

The only person in my family who's been diagnosed with autism, or who has symptoms of autism/Asperger's is MY BROTHER'S WIFE'S SISTER'S DAUGHTER'S SON. Not a blood relative. The only person I don't know about is my maternal grandfather (who was an alcoholic, and died young. He was able to work and buy land in New Jersey. He wasn't the best husband to my grandmother. Who knows?)

Hence, the random nature of the acquisition of autism/Asperger's. It's somewhat of a genetic disorder--but there's no Aspie/Autistic gene that's been positively identified.

I wouldn't be reluctant to have kids, based upon the fact that I have an autism-spectrum disorder.

I think, at times, that "autistic" genes have produced some of the greatest innovations mankind has conceived.

Are you hoping they get it?? Or concerned that they might??

If you're hoping they get it, dude, don't get your hopes up. It runs on BOTH sides of my family; out of all the kids, there are only one or two other members of my generation that have it.

If we understand it correctly and autism really is an x-linked recessive trait, that means that as a female I MUST have two tainted copies of the gene(s) in question...

...yet NONE of my four kids display clinically significant symptoms of ASD.

If you're concerned that they might, well, why worry?? YOU don't know any of these kids. It isn't YOUR problem. And you're probably not too concerned about the pain they might experience growing up weird, either. If you were, I cannot imagine that you would have dumped sperm on an uninformed, unsuspecting woman.

Because, you know, the kind of women who specifically select for high intelligence, good looks, and athletic prowess probably aren't the kind of women who are going to make accepting, patient, tolerant, perseverant mothers to help little Aspies deal with the struggles of life.

Just sayin'.

Deliberately dumping autism code on some unsuspecting woman isn't exactly what I think of as a real effective way to further the cause of equal rights, or quality of life, or tolerance, or anything good.

Despite the fact that I have personally given birth to four kids, and despite the fact that I support your right to procreate, demographic warfare ain't my thing.

Besides-- If you want to make more little Aspies, don'tcha kinda think you have sort of a responsibility to kind of, you know, be around to help them figure out how to navigate it all?? Do you plan on making yourself available to these kids??

Several thoughts;

To StarvingArtist: You go girl!

To the original poster: A person has the right to know if their offspring is at risk for developing a disabling genetic condition. To deprive a person of that choice is stealing from that person, trampling all over that person's rights. You do not have the right to deprive someone of the chance to give informed consent. Your rights end where another person's rights begin. Call you decisions what they are: selfish. You do not have an honest bone in your body. Do us all a favor and use birth control (not because you are autistic, but because you are evil).

it really really bothers me when socio/psychopaths come here claiming to be on the spectrum because they read somewhere that "autistic people can't connect with other people" and they think that would be a good community to hide themselves in--because they know that admitting the real problem that they can't connect with people (the sociopathy) would make them rather unpopular. besides, autism is trending so why not follow the trend and justify your evil selfish behaviour at the same time: "i can't help that i don't understand how to follow society's rules because i'm autistic, so i do awful things to people but it's not my fault because autism!"



edit* to include: these parasites do real damage to the ASD community by misrepresenting us to others, so we end up getting unfairly associated with all kinds of awful behaviour in the media and in the public eye--i'm sick and tired of it.

To answer the original post: I don't think the methods of ASD inheritance are understood, but it does seem to be genetic in some way.

What right? Nobody is entitled to a reproduction partner. If you can't find someone to reproduce with you, then you can't reproduce. Sucks to be you. If being truthful means nobody would want to reproduce with you then you have no one to reproduce with. That applies to everyone on the planet.

I am still wondering if OP is a troll. The posts seem designed to rile people up.

you know, i kind of hope i'm wrong and it is just a troll. because the alternative, that he means the things he's saying, is just....ugh.