Illusion of Choice For Guys in a Relationship

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You can say that I am regurgitating American slogans, but I was not even aware of what slogans there were or were they American or some other country's before you said that I am regurgitating them.
I am speaking from my personal eggsperiences of what has worked for me in my life, as I have posted many times before.
It ackshuly works for me to try new things and develop new abilities or improve abilities I already have.
Multiple times, I have only been able to get a chance at something because I had a skill that I had only developed recently, or I had some foundation in the past in some area.
In scientific research, it is generally bad to stick to the safe path, because the whole purpose of research is to make progress in understanding or technology.
Also, I only find it interesting to work on topics about which the field knows little or there is lack of technology, so I can contribute to development of such.
You can disbelieve what I say about what works for me and attribute it to whatever you want, that is your choice, but what I post here may be useful for other people considering these issues.
I don't have good social skills either, I make almost no eye contact and don't know the right things to say, but people do tend to give me a chance based on whatever it is they see in me, whether my skills or the general impression I make on them.
Perhaps there is some positivity and confidence non-verbal cues that they can detect, and perhaps that is why they would give me a chance, along with considering that I do have skills.
I don't think I can subconsciously project those cues without ackshuly feeling positive and confident, and part of the reason that I feel that way is because I know I have the skills that I chose and worked to develop.
By the way, no one ever told me that college degree guaranteed a job after graduation.

Since this is in the parents' forum, I want to communicate to parents that it truly helped me a lot that my parents pushed me to do things way outside my comfort zone, as I have posted many time before. Of course I hated doing them at the time, and they were highly uncomfortable for me, but it was completely worth it to learn new skills, and I probably wouldn't have learned them or had a much longer delay in them if my parents had not pushed.

On taking personal responsibility, I don't understand what is the problem with this.
To me, this just means acknowledging one's own part in something.
Like if something doesn't work in eggsperiment, I have found through years of different eggsperiments in different fields that 99% of the time, the failures were caused by operator error, meaning it was my fault, I screwed it up, I did something wrong or failed to do something.
So I take personal responsibility for that, and then I know what potential operator errors there are, try not to make them in future, and warn others about making them before they make them and screw things up, just as others have warned me in the past.

I know someone who is very fond of saying that ignorance of the law is not an excuse for breaking it.

In general, society places the burden on the individual to learn the rules of the game, and to follow them. You have no practical recourse when not all information is made clear.

It is something that on a practical level, in daily life, has to be taken as a constant.

Life does not come with a user manual. Whether that is fair or not is a fine theoretical discussion, but that is how it is.

When you apply for a job, they will tell you the surface qualifications, but much will be left unsaid. Some of it is because there is subconscious criteria, and some b/c knowing the criteria is part of the criteria.

If I needed to do something in an eggsperiment, and I didn't know that I should do it, and the eggsperiment goes wrong, then I still consider that I caused the eggsperiment to fail, and indeed it is my fault, because I could have known that I should do it, but I didn't, because I didn't think things through. This happens regularly and is not a big deal to most people, unless it was a one-shot, eggspensive eggsperiment like Mars Polar Lander that got screwed up.

Ideas are fine to think about, but ideas alone don't help me become an XYZ, so I can spend my life thinking about ideas that are interesting to me. One may even limit oneself based on ideas that seem appealing. Or the other great limiter is fear.

I can't eggsplain it in words, but such situations occur frequently in eggsperiments, when I didn't think to do something that would have allowed the eggsperiment to work better than it did. These situations are easily identifiable and distinguishable from the situation in which I didn't know that I didn't know something, so they are not like googling something I don't know that I don't know. They are a category of errors distinct from any other type, and they are caused by me. It is not like I blame myself greatly and feel horrible when I take responsibility what I did or didn't do. I just assign the cause to me and move on. If I talk about it afterwards, I usually use active voice like, "I screwed up XYZ...", "I didn't do XYZ...", "I couldn't get XYZ to..."

Perhaps for some people an internal locus of control works better than other types, because it is more difficult to consider and integrate outside factors, eggspecially other people, so it is easier to simply assign the cause to oneself and move on. I find that taking responsibility for things clarifies for me in my mind what I can vs. cannot control, so it probably helps me make decisions of what I should be doing towards my goals, whether a small thing like one eggsperiment or the bigger picture like my career. Like trying things, it is an approach that works for me, and I find that things generally go better when I do it and make note of it in my mind. Even on an eggsperiment, I think that taking personal responsibility for causing an failure adds strength to prevention of the same error in the next eggsperiment. If I assigned the cause completely outside myself, I might not be as good at preventing it next time.

About the world of ideas, I know that if I want to see my ideas in front of my eyes instead of behind, I need to do many things to get them out of my mind and into concrete reality. The best thing is to try in small steps, which if they work, tend to build quickly towards a quick and dirty first working version. Then, it is time to test, refine, and challenge the system to discover how to make it better and cleaner. One of the few things I say to myself is, "shut up and do it".