placement out of the home

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Thank you all. Momsparky, I appreciate all you said. I'm on emotional overload but wanted to be sure to thank you. You are right, I do feel like I have PTSD. I read both the links and they helped. And thanks for the thoughts on it not being the same as a domestic violence relationship. You are right about that and I feel much better. I have to remember to always just do what my heart says to do, because love is never wrong.

Since he has four adult authority figures at home, there could be an issue of too many orders/instructions at once being overloading.

Very good point - one of our contract "rules" is that only one adult is allowed to address any given situation or offer directions with my son at a time, and there are only two of us. It's very difficult not to step in, but PlainsAspie is totally right, it is one thing that my son really needs.

Yes, great point, but we've got that covered. It's only me who's allowed to interact in any sort of a guiding or disciplinary way, and if I'm not around then it's my mom. My husband and my dad have been banned from giving him any suggestions, helpful hints, or demands. Not only to not overwhelm him but because they suck at it way more than my mom and I do, and we are far from perfect ourselves.