Everything changed, but nothing changed
0223 wrote:
- not blowing out our eardrums constantly
- not interrupting
- not talking nonstop for over and hour and having a freak out if we do anything other than sit and listen with rapt attention
- not screaming blah blah blah or growling noises over us when he doesn't want to hear what we're saying
- trying to explain that he's angry about something instead of lecturing us on what terrible human beings we are when he's mad. He says that when he says those things, what he really means is "mom, I'm mad that you won't let me have ice cream" or whatever, but that it's like another person takes over his mouth and forces him to say the other stuff.
Are those like pragmatic speech things?
- not interrupting
- not talking nonstop for over and hour and having a freak out if we do anything other than sit and listen with rapt attention
- not screaming blah blah blah or growling noises over us when he doesn't want to hear what we're saying
- trying to explain that he's angry about something instead of lecturing us on what terrible human beings we are when he's mad. He says that when he says those things, what he really means is "mom, I'm mad that you won't let me have ice cream" or whatever, but that it's like another person takes over his mouth and forces him to say the other stuff.
Are those like pragmatic speech things?
Yes, those are some of the sorts of things you work on in pragmatics - to a degree the last one is mixed, but a speech therapist will work on him with finding appropriate language to the situation. This could also explain an awful lot of his other behaviors, because poor communication skills are like the first domino. (See Helen Keller: The Story of My Life - her early life is so much like that of a child with autism it amazes me.)
0223 wrote:
He also does the following non annoying things that might also be pragmatics:
- can't summarize or give the general idea, instead tells strings of details
- assumes a shared understanding that isn't present, say for example when reading a book he'll say "mom, Jack didn't want to go to the party, but Jill wasn't even there." Just that, out of the blue, I have no clue what he's talking about, and I'll tell him I've never read the book and have no clue but that never stops him
- Not sure what this is called but when you ask him a question he'll often say "so basically, um, yes, it was like this, well, basically, I'm not sure how to put it, but basically, um, yes, basically" for a long time before getting to any sort of point.
Does any of that sound like stuff a speech therapist would work on?
- can't summarize or give the general idea, instead tells strings of details
- assumes a shared understanding that isn't present, say for example when reading a book he'll say "mom, Jack didn't want to go to the party, but Jill wasn't even there." Just that, out of the blue, I have no clue what he's talking about, and I'll tell him I've never read the book and have no clue but that never stops him
- Not sure what this is called but when you ask him a question he'll often say "so basically, um, yes, it was like this, well, basically, I'm not sure how to put it, but basically, um, yes, basically" for a long time before getting to any sort of point.
Does any of that sound like stuff a speech therapist would work on?
There are probably several things going on here. For the first one, it might be pragmatics: we finally realized my son did this not because he couldn't do it, but because he didn't understand. We finally told him "say what the author said, but use only three words." and he got it. The "forest for the trees" thing is not uncommon in autism, but like the second one, it's a part of a deficit known as poor Theory of Mind. "Mindblindness" is another way to describe it. You may need to find additional support beyond a speech therapist.
The last one could be something entirely different: a language processing issue. You might want to ask for separate testing for that, as it is a common co-morbidity for many people on the spectrum, and the brain damage thing might play into it - it's kind of like the neural pathway takes a very long and circuitous route to do something, and he has to put in "place markers" verbally while his brain does gymnastics to figure out how to say what he wants to say.
These are my guesses. I'd suggest that now is the time to do research - lots of books stickied at the top of the board that will help you parse out exactly what the deficits are, what specific tests to ask for and what specific therapies might help. Definitely go to your regional center and ask for services.