"Can I call you Dad?."-Z's story

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corsarzs~LOL!! !! !! !

I did get your pm and I sent you a really short quick one back!!
did you have a good weekend?? Hope you went somewhere fun!!

Helen, I'm still not getting your pm's.

C'mon folks, I know y'all are reading these posts, tell us your stories. Let us get to know you. If nothing else it is good therapy.

It is a great story, you and Z and S and Cor.

I would love to post mine too, but my computer keeps shutting down, i'll try in three weeks. Thanks for sharing yours!

Looking forward to it, EarthCalling. Any more out there, we would like to hear from you.

All right, here it goes:

I knew I was in for "trouble" the morning after my son was born. I had severe pre-eclampsia which got worse after delivery of my son. I was put on Magnesium which messes with your thinking and was unable to care for my son the first night he was born. He was taken to the "treatment nursery." (the hospital I gave birth in does not have a true nursery, the babies stay with mom until discharge.) The next morning when the nurse brought him in for feeding she announced that my little boy "had some temper-he screamed all night."

I was a first time mom-babies cry, right? Dylan screamed a high pitched, ear piercing scream. The doctor did not think he had colic, he was growing and developing fine. I could only get him to nap on my chest. If I would try to put him down after he fell asleep, he would wake up and scream. Luckily I stayed home with him for 7 months and eventually, he took a nap in his crib-he was 4 months old though.

I didn't really notice anything else until he was about 16 months old. He was trying to talk more and got easily frustrated. His tantrums were explosive. The pediatrician wanted him evaluated for a speech delay, he had a 25% delay-just enough to qualify for services through the county. When the evaluators came to my house, Dylan would not sit still, the evaluatioin was difficult-just a typical busy boy, right? I explained my other concerns: the frustration my son was experiencing, the tantrums, the limited food choices. I was told most of this was normal for a toddler and the speech therapy would decrease the frustration. And it did-for awhile.

I always knew something was different about Dylan. I just said he was a "screamer." He was challenging. He could point to colors, numbers and letters before he could say them. He liked to watch Wheel of Fortune-he loved the clapping. He hated loud noises: dogs barking, vacuum cleaner. He loved to be upside down, thrown up in the air, swinging fast.

Everyone told me he was "fine," he was just really smart, therefore hard to discipline. I knew something was off. Finally the break came in preschool this year. The preschool was enrolled in a "collabrative problem solving" model through the county and the director of the preschool asked my permission for Dylan to be observed specifically for his "meltdown issues." (this was the first I had heard that there were "issues" at school-we had always been told he was "a great joy" at school-but that's a whole other issue.)

This woman agreed to sit down with my husband and I. After a lot of talking and a behavioral assessment filled out by the teacher and I, she thought Dylan might have Sensory integration issues. She told us to get in touch with an OT and have him evaluated. I took it one step further and talked to my Pediatrician. He sent us to Kennedy Krieger Institute.

To shorten my long story a little, Dylan is almost 5-less than a week to his birthday. We got a dx 4 weeks ago of Aspergers Syndrome. The dx fits him like a glove with 1 small exception-he is "more social than most Aspies." That remains to be seen-he is a control fanatic and right now, most 4 and 5 year olds are willing to go along with his play-but I am certain that will change as the next few years pass. I only hope that we can start teaching him some social skills that may help him.

thanks for listening everyone!

Jessrn, thank you for talking to us and sharing you story so glad things are working out.
Z is social, he really likes people, just gets so frustrated with them. I think it is more that he has a real problem figuring out the social cues when they are given. He also has difficulty empathizing with others. Anger issues and meltdowns still happen but he is beginning to become aware that they are about to happen,sometimes, occaissionally once in a while. He tends to exercise more control in public than at home. He says that is because he feels more secure here than when he is out.

I wish you and Dylan the best. The early dx should help a lot. Please keep us posted about how both he and you are doing.

Corsarzs,

Your signature makes me smile. Way before I really understood what was going on with my son, my husband came home from work and he quoted to me "I heard that some scientists think that autism my actually be the evolution of the human mind." And here we are now. That thought helps me.

Thank you ,Jessrn, though I say it somewhat lightheartedly, there are times when talking to Z I do actually wonder. At 10 we have been told that his vocabulary already is greater than that of most adults and his thirst for learning is insatiable [he was just lecturing me on the tensile strength of spidersilk]. From what I have found out about alot of these kids here I'm no longer so sure that our species needs such an elabiorate social structure to survive. However right now we have to help these amazing children to exist in a world they haven't made and I intend to do just that. Thanks for joining in the struggle.

Great stories everyone! It seems like most of us had a long, hard road to diagnosis. It's frustrating that still there is so much confusion.

Well folks it looks as if this thread has reached an end, anybody else want to add their story?

If not, thanks to all of you for sharing, I'll see you on other threads.

O's story.

I think you may just have time to squeeze in one more story?

I would love to tell you my son's story, however I wonder if in some ways, it would not be more appropriate to start with my story...

I was a perfect baby, for the first 3 weeks of my life. Then, my mother had to go back to the hospital, and all hell broke loose. I was screaming so much the only thing they could think to do for me was to place me in the hospital with my mother! Only she was really sick, so she could not deal with a screaming infant, and my being “contaminated” with the outside world meant that I could not go back to the nursery. So, I got my own private room!

Fortunately, my mother got better, unfortunately, I decided to scream for another 7 months! From Day 1, I was under close paediatric care, and eventually diagnosed with an “Immature Nervous System”. I also seemed to be starving, and was just shy of a failure to thrive DX. Around 7 -8 months of age, I decided to stop screaming and be a better child for my family. They where very grateful.

However, I did not smile until I was a year old, and by 18 months, it was apparent something was wrong with my eyes, they would not work together, and floated away to the outer corners of my eyeballs. (Strabismus, Exotropia). So, I underwent eye surgery at 2 years of age, and the eyes where made to look like they worked together, only it was too late to save my depth perception, and to this day, while I can use both eye independently, and to some extent together, I have very limited binocular vision.

It was noticed as a toddler, that I did not join in the games of fellow toddlers, I was a loner, and played by myself, “or just watched from the sidelines”. My kindergarten teacher, a teacher of 40 years experience, told my mother “I was the oddest duck she had ever seen”. They blamed my lack of depth perception for my wallflower personality.

I also was prone to extreme stubbornness. Toilet training was a “nightmare” for my mother. I thought she was trying to kill me if she tired to brush my teeth, and it took two adults to give me a bath at 2 years of age! Lets just say, I was not an easy child. I was happiest, left alone and not disturbed!

I also loved being read to, but would not interact with books. I would not point at pictures, or even LOOK at pictures. It was suggested, again, this was a vision problem, and when I saw the pages, I suffered “double vision” so I would choose not to.

Basically, I was a happy child, although I was always very “serious”. I started counting at age 2, and walked / talked / developed on time.

By grade 2 though, I began to fail in school. My teacher told my mother I was “ret*d” and they wanted to move me down an academic level, to a class that would teach me how to wash my clothes and cook a few simple meals; life skills I would need to live semi independently later in life! My mother over two years, brought me to a psychologist, who DX’ed me with LD’s, the three D’s, (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia.) I was also DX’ed with a Non verbal learning disability (NVLD), and a Central Auditory Processing Disorder, and ADD. Also, abnormal eye movements where noted. However, It was determined I was very bright! With this DX, the public school was still not willing to do any better for me, and my parents opted for a private school for two years. It changed my life, I think it saved me.

Still though, I suffered horrifically from low self esteem, and as an adolescent experienced a lot of problems at home. My parents separated, and the loving caring parents of 12 years disappeared over the next year. Most parents fight over who “gets” the children, my parents fought over “who would be burdened with them”. I am not going to lament too much on this time in my life, needless to say, it was very chaotic, abusive and traumatic. Definitely not a good place for an Aspie teen to be!

I struggled with friendships, managing to pick up a few along the way, (none that lasted very long, say, more then a year, I was plagued as being “the weird chick“ The “Amazon woman“ and “the girl who never smiles“. But, having a bit of luck with some off centred troubled teens gave me a place to “act out”. I began drinking and smoking. My grades would flip flop between high 90’s, and as low as 10-30% overall even in the same semester! I met a guy, it led to an abusive relationship, I got out, met another guy, kicked him around and abused him. I was hurt, angry and frustrated, with no real counselling or proper outlet. Still, I became “obsessed” in a true Aspie fashion, with the idea of having a child of my own. Maybe it started with just thinking “when I am a parent I will do things differently…” I thought daily of how differently I would do things. Then, I caught on to the idea, that a child would love me unconditionally, and I would love it, and I COULD be a great mother. The question I never asked, was “SHOULD” I! In addition, I think I wanted to escape from my childhood, I wanted to be an adult, only a stupid kid thinks that having a child will make you an “adult” but well, I was really just a stupid kid! Long story short, I became pregnant at 16, and had my son at 17 years of age.

Reality hit pretty hard, and I did not have a lot of options. My mother had her hooks into me pretty good, so I stayed with her, although I am very sure I would have been much better off in a program for young mothers. (By that time, she was dependant on my and my sons welfare check for her own survival) We moved all over the country in the first few years, I dropped out of High school for a year and a half, then fought my mother to go back. I graduated, and went on to college. I held several jobs, (never for more then 6 months) and just did the best I could to “get by”.

The worst part was, we would fight on a daily basis. My mother was in the midst of a nervous breakdown, in and out of mental hospital wards, my father was dying of cancer. (He did not live with us). Ohh the screaming fits! It is a wonder that the neighbours never called Children’s Aid! Honestly, it would have been better if they did.

I was doing the best I could, I was going to school, I had no friends, no social life anymore, no contact with my sons father as per my mothers wishes. I did not drink, I did not do drugs of any description, I did nothing but just try to “get by”. But, my mother would rip into me on a daily basis, even over things as small as forgetting to polish the tap in the bathroom after cleaning the sink, or not “lining up the shoes”. She also loved to call me a bad mother, because I did not “talk while changing a diaper” or some other thing she deemed made a good parent. I became afraid of my own shadow, and very depressed. I loved my son like nothing else in this world, however I was a very young, inexperienced, abused “Aspie” parent. I took great care of him, and would spend hours and hours playing with him, but I just did not socially “interact” with him and “clean the house” the way my mother wanted me to. In time, she really played up to him and turned her relationship with my son, into an all out war for who would win his affection! I watched my son slip further and further away from me, towards her. I was filled with despair, and hugely concerned that one day she would turn on him the way she did on me. I think my mother regards children like some people do puppies. They younger they are, the cuter and more deserving they are. She resents the child or “puppy” growing up. One day, when they are not cute anymore, she is more then ok with dropping them off at the pound or kicking them outside.

My father died, and with some insurance money willed to us, my sister and I scraped together enough to buy a home together. My mother was not supposed to move in, but at the last minute had nowhere else to go, and did. Around this time, things improved a little, because it was not “her house”, but the patterns where very deeply set and hard to get out of.

Eventually, when I met my husband at the end of 1999 (online against my mothers approval) I was able to slowly climb out of it, and within 3 years, we freed ourselves of her tyranny and wrath. With that break, she rapidly distanced herself from my son, leaving him devastated. Honestly, I think he grieves even a little to this day, like he lost a parent. I never wanted him to hurt so much, but it really was better it happened sooner then later.

To this day, It is hard to understand, how a woman who did so much for you, and loved you so much as a small child, could become so cruel and heartless later on. The truth is, I think she has BPD and Aspergers herself, and just “snapped” under the pressure of raising two children alone. She also really wanted to just run away from my father and find someone who could “emotionally support her” in that fantasy land way, and when that did not happen, she could not face the reality she created. The past was not entirely her fault, I am coming to understand that, what I need to work on, is it was not my fault either. It is a life long lesson to me, in what not to do with my kids. The wounds you inflict on your children, wittingly or unwittingly, can last a lifetime.

I have gone through several of the stages of grieving, in respect to the hell years and my fathers death, I know I am through Denial, Anger, and Bargaining, however I seem stuck in Depression. I am hoping by better understanding it all, I will be able to FINALLY move on to acceptance, leaving the whole ordeal in the past. I have enough to worry about, I don’t need to be burdened with this any longer.

I see a light, I just have to find the will to move towards it.

Part Deux;

So my son, we will call “O” has a story all of his own, independent of mine, yet at the same time, overlapping and intertwined.

He was born a healthy bouncing 7 pound, 13 oz boy to a 17 year old mother, and destined to live out the first 7 years of his life in a rather chaotic and hostile environment. That sounds absolutely horrible, but really, maybe it sounds worse then it was.

We all loved him so much. He had 3 “mothers” in the house, who all loved him to the ends of the earth, and answered to his every beck and call. He wanted for nothing a little boy could want, and was very well looked after.

The only problem was, the three caring “moms” would turn at the drop of a hat into monsters ready to gouge each others eyes out! For a little undiagnosed aspie boy, I am sure that was beyond terrifying. For years, I thought that perhaps, it explained his “problems”.

I think, if he reacted the way most children do to that sort of fighting, it would never have got so out of hand. But he would just “disconnect”. It was like nothing abnormal was going on at all. He would just sit, and watch the Grinch or a Thomas video over and over again, or stack blocks, or line up toys. Sometimes he would wander up to us in the middle of a blow up, and ask for something, with a manner that was like nothing strange or scary was going on at all. Still, knowing what I know now, I think that it was not that he was “desensitized to it”, rather in true Aspie fashion, he is “non reactive’ to certain situations.

He walked at 11 months, he talked at 2 years (on time) He developed a huge and bursting vocabulary. He was a very healthy child. The only health concerns I had for him, where severe reactions to immunizations. He would get fevers up to 103 -104 degrees that would not budge for any money, no med or bath could bring them down, they would rage for days (Spiking at 103-104 for around 6 hours, remaining over 101 for days) Maybe it was the vaccines that did it, except for the fact that these Aspie traits are very dominant in both his mother and grandmother, and possibly great grandfather! Definitely genetic, not Mercury induced (in my opinion…)

Even as a baby though, he was special. He whistled at 3 months of age! He never stopped, and whistles as a stim today! He also needed to go to bed from 5 weeks old to the music of a pan flute. When he was 11 months and we where dring across the country, I had to bring him out to the car, the only place we could play the music, or he was unable to fall asleep. He would respond to the whistled, and whistle back, but I don’t think he did to his name. He had a very serious look as an infant, we called him “our little old man”.

O was in daycare from a young age. No one raised any alarm bells over him at that stage in his life. He seemed mostly happy and well adjusted, although he typically would not follow routines, and one worker got a real hate on for him being “unmanageable”. But one out of 10 is not bad right?

At two years of age, he saw a Thomas track, and after that he was lost to the world of Thomas for another 5 years! He would watch the videos over and over, he would build huge train networks, he related all his social experiences to Thomas. If you upset him, he would tell you “you are not a very nice engine!”

Kindergarten proved much more difficult. He again, did not adjust to the routines, marched to the beat of his own drum, refused to learn things that he was not interested in. “mom, you can read for me when I grow up”.

By grade 1, the school raised some concerns. They felt he was “unadjusted” and recommended counselling at the end of the year. The thing is, much of the “concerns” they had for him, where things like he could not sustain friendships, he would trip over things and not even notice he did! He would provide non relevant comments to discussions.

Teacher: “How do you think Jay felt when he fell down?”
O’s contribution “I had mashed potatoes for supper!”.

He would not concentrate or focus. He did not understand the concept of class room “protocols”. They put a blind up around his desk, he just stood up and talked over it! He would not stay seated, he would disappear to the bathroom for an hour or more. He could not finish his lunch during “lunch hour”. He was also stimming (at the time I thought it was ticking) and he was hopelessly behind with reading, writing and printing. He also had Echolalia. And deep routed interests and obsessions. Thomas was the predominant one from 2-5, but in October when he turned 6, his life turned to Ghost busting after seeing 1 cartoon on a Halloween special! He asked for Ghost Buster toys for Christmas, we told him that they did not sell them in stores anymore, so he told us “ok, I’ll ask Santa instead! Thank goodness for Ebay! We where able to acquire all the G. Busting paraphernalia a 6 year old Aspie needed!

He had other interests over the years, in about this order, some overlap between them. “the Grinch (½ hour cartoon age 1) Thomas (2-5) Pokemon (5-9) Ghostbusters (6-7) Starwars (8+) Indiana Jones (8+ because it is also a Lucas production) Isaac Brock (War of 1812 military officer for the British 7-8) The Titanic (8-9) The Lancaster (WWII Airplane, 9-10) WWII (9-10) Star Trek (11-12) James Bond (12- present). He also “stacked” objects, just about anything, into huge towers from around 2 ½ to 6 years of age. He was infamous for leaving puzzling tall towers around the house made with miscellaneous objects! Often we remarked that we would be hard pressed to duplicate it, and where perplexed as to his inherent understanding of engineering!

Many of these interests are not “odd” for a child his age, but the intensity was, and how narrow some of them where! What 7 year old gets caught up in the life story of Isaac Brock for 2 years?) Or falls in love with 1 and only 1 WWII aircraft? Generally, these interests are the only thing he cared about, his whole life revolved around them, nothing else mattered. He is a little better now. Not much, but a little.

Anyway, the counselling did not do much good. They felt he was “pretty normal”. He had some challenges, but overall seemed well adjusted, and there where kids that where “much worse” that needed the intensive therapy. I asked about Aspergers, they told me he would be “much worse” if he had it. They suggested he had Turets, and ADHD. We put him on Ritalin, they caused the tics to get much much worse, and he turned into a zombie. They recommended Clonodine to take the edge off the Ritalin. I was a fool and did it, one pill to jack him up, another to bring him down. He hated it, and after a year, when he failed grade 2, and it became evident he learned more off the drugs then on him, I took him off.

We went to a new school, who demanded he be on medication. They said a lot of stupid things, and in the end, we decided to home school for 4 years. In that time, I had two more children, now 2 and 4. Our family is complete, but the babies made home schooling very difficult.

Struggling with all the emotional baggage of my life, being an Aspie, and just not knowing what to do at times, dealing with a high needs child and two other children full time was very difficult. It was decided to put him back in the main stream last September. Unfortunately, he had to go back to the same school. Luckily, I think I saved him, he was academically behind, and socially unskilled, but hungry to learn! He is no longer a “behaviour case”. Although, on a wait for a psycho educational, and with no DX of ASD, he was Sh** out of luck with getting the help and support he needs.

This is year one for O. He has made great strides in school. Although it has not always been easy. It is also in some ways, the year I have to get all my ducks lined up, get DX’s, and push push push to get him the help he needs. It isn’t easy, he is 12, the school wants to give nothing, and I am fighting up a steep hill all the way. Sometimes I want to scream because it is not moving fast enough. He is 12 now, we don’t have any time to fool around. But, I gotta play the system… at least to some extent. Overall, he can’t write, he has horrible fine motor control. He reads well below Grade level, his math is significantly behind (although he has made up nearly 2 grades this year!) He loves science and history, doing very well in those two subjects. Gym is torture! His teachers are perplexed, reporting that at times, he shows a higher level of thinking then his classmates, yet routinely underperforms. It is like he just gets hit with a bolt of brilliant thinking every blue moon…

The older he gets, the more pronounced his social problems are. Kids his age, generally don’t like him. I think he could “make” friends, but he is just not willing to partner up with the trouble makers and bad assess. “Normal” kids just don’t like him. It is sad. I don’t think it is anything he does, just a matter of his body language not matching his verbal language. A common Aspie Problem.

Unlike my parents, I am completely dependant on the system for support. There is no private route for me to take. I feel like I am fighting for O’s life, backed up against a wall, So far, I seem to be fending off the enemy, even if I am making no more progress then that. With the AS DX, I am hoping to get him a laptop next year I just realized tonight, with being in rotations all day, he is going to need a portable computer system, setting up a desktop in a class is not going to cut it.

He is a wonderful child, but also at times, due to the AS, extremely moody and hard to live with. I am trying to work on that, through coaching with him, but also with trying to be more patient myself. It is not easy though. And the cycles of abuse are very much imprinted into me. Yelling and screaming are the only coping strategies I was taught. I am doing the best I can to learn better ones, and break this pattern of abuse I know goes back at least 2 generations.

So, that is O’s story, and mine, as honest as I could tell it, definitely not that flattering…

you've had i ttough, that 's for sure....sounds like you're doing a wonderful job, though...keep up the good work !

Dear EarthCalling,
Thank you, with all my heart for, sharing your story. From reading your other posts and getting glimpses of your struggles I knew it would be interesting and inspirational. It far exceeded my expectations. I have only one small bone to pick with you. You have said this personal history is honest but"definitely not that flattering". I must disagree. I see someone who is still young and who has had to face challenges that would make most hide under our bedsheets face her own personal demons, conquer them, and go on to stand by her son to help him endure his own struggles. I applaud you for what you have been through and sincerely appreciate your shared stories.

When my life seems out of control I will return here for strength and encouragement.

Wow, these stories are incredible. Thank you all for sharing. I feel like I am just getting on this roller coaster. My son Cris is 7yr. old. We got a sort of dx last week of ADD/ODD/Asperger's and started him on Adderal.

I'll start at the beginning.
My husband and I met at Bible college. I am a first child of 3 and my husband, M, is an only child. Before we were married we talked about having a large family and that we would also like to adopt children. We were married and wanted children right away. We had our first child, S and tried so hard to do everything by the books. At that time we were very heavily involved in our church and we were being primed for "leadership". I became pregnant with Cris right away and from day one we knew he was different, but couldn't put our finger on it. Cris cried all the way home from the hospital (30min. drive) He was a good eater and sleeper but would have these horrible temper tantrums. At first I thought he was sick or something. He would make his fists into balls and go really red in the face, so that I thought he was in pain or something. We finally figured out that when he got like this the only thing that helped would be to lay him in his crib and let him cry by himself for a few minutes and then he would be fine. Cris is still this way. When he has a meltdown the best thing to do is to let him have his space. Trying to comfort or ask questions or anything just makes it worse.
When we were in public, mostly at church functions, Cris would be very clingy and quiet and almost never smiled at people, I got comments all the time about how serious he was and I called him "my little bug" because of the way he would curl up on your chest and cling to you. Around age 2 he still had temper tantrums but he would throw himself backwards without any restraint. If he was on a sidewalk he would end up with a cement rasberry on the back of his head. I tried to catch him before he would do this more.

Cris would play with his toys by lining them up, cars, blocks, etc. I would often hear him from the other room crying and I would go running because I thought he was hurt, usually he was just having one of his fits because something about his toys was making him frustrated, they wouldn't do what he wanted or something. He got so mad though.

Soon I became pregnant with our third child, A. A couple of weeks before her birth my husband and I began to discuss our wish to adopt children. We actually started looking at different adoption agencies and different countries a few weeks after A was born. Crazy, huh? We ended up with a referral for a little boy in Kazakhstan. Several months before we went to get him I was working/volunteering at our church's school/daycare center. I enjoyed working at the daycare but it was very hard on my famiily. My oldest was in kindergarten and Cris was in preschool in the same building where I worked. A was actually in the 2 year old class I was teaching. Cris was having terrible time with potty training and we were starting to hear from his teachers about vague problems and concerns. Cris' favorite thing to do at recess was to swing which he did everytime all the time. I also remember some instance of another student being jabbed by a fork by Cris, hard enough for it to hurt. Around this time we had talked with our pediatritian about our concerns with his temper and odd playing. He suggested we do some research on high functioning autism. I wasn't too sure about this and we were very busy with getting ready to bring home our fourth child from the other side of the world.

Our travel date was set and we were to fly to Kazakhstan and stay for four weeks. Some good friends and my parents helped take care of my babies at home. I can't believe we did that to them! We were gone for 4 weeks! My oldest handled it very well, Cris, you can imagine had a difficult time. A, the youngest had no clue what was going on. We did not have a dx at that time and no one but myself and my husband had any inkling of Cris' differences. Poor Cris actually thought he had new parents and that my friends were his new mom and dad! He told people this.

Well we brought N home from Kazakhstan as an 18 month old child who was probably just learning to speak a little Russian. We got home and everyone was ok, eccept my youngest A, who was very jealous of N. Now here it gets a bit more crazy because as I mentioned before my husband and I were very involved with our church. About the time we brought N home there was some crazy stuff that happened with some of our church leaders and there was a church split. For those of you without church backgrounds you may or may not understand how all encompassing this kind of life can be. When things started to fall apart it felt like I was falling apart. It was an absolutely horrible experience but at the same time it was life saving for me. Our church had gotten to a point where some would/might have called it cultish. There was a lot of manipulating and control stuff going on. Mix all this stuff into our very interesting family and wow, what a crazy place to be! We ended up leaving our church and we have now been "un churched" for almost 4 years. I am still a believer and love God very much, but there are a lot of things I just don't know how to think about anymore. Dissalusionment, does anyone else relate to this?

Well, the first year and a half I homeschooled my children, we had had it hammered into our heads that public schools are just terrible. I have a feeling that I deal with some ADD stuff myself and trying to homeschool two kids with two toddlers around was wild indeed. My oldest was really missing all her friends and I was having a horrible time trying to get Cris motivated to do school (Kindergarten and 1st). I started researching more about high functioning autism and then asperger's. I began to wonder if my lack of structure and consistency was hindering Cris in his schooling. S was doing very well in the public school and we decided to enroll Cris half way into the first semester of 1st grade. This was probably not the best way to start, but I didn't know what else to do. Right away the teacher had concerns and we ended up talking with her and the special ed coordinator. They agreed with M and I that something was different about Cris and we were able to get some special considerations for Cris.

Now Cris is in 2nd grade, A is in Kindergarten, S in 3rd and N in preschool. This year has been very hard for Cris. He doesn't have any friends is depressed alot, gets in trouble all the time (for hitting, poking, bothering people) is bored with homework and has meltdowns frequently. We started him on some Adderal this week, but I'm not sure it is helping. We upped the dose and it made him look sick, feel sick, and pretty touchy so I backed it back down, now I guess we will give it another week on the low dose to see if there seems to be any improvement. I will try to talk to his teacher and see if she noticed anything. I wish I could get more help with therapy type stuff. We are in a very rural area and the school is very small. None of the staff seem to have any experience with Asperger's at all.

This site and others like it have been a real lifeline for me. I am very thankful for the support and encouragement that it has brought. Now, if I can do as well as the rest of you and get through the adolesent years. Whew!