Asperger Teen and Living Skills

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That is funny! She always accused me of throwing fits, but she was just as bad. It is so important to get the right therapist!

I remember we once when the "family counceling" route. The lady actually came to our house, and my mother was in full metldown. I think this went beyond the Aspie in her, right to full blown mental illness.

Anyway, the therapist in the first meeting, asked my mother what she needed, from her, from us. What her "vision" for the family was. And my mother got caught up in if she had a neat and tidy home she would be happy. (BS, there was a TON of other stuff going on too). So, the therapist took off on that, asking what we as daughters needed to do. She said, "for one, keep the shoes organized and neat". The therapist saw that as reasonable. (She had NO IDEA what "organized and neat shoes ment!) And proceeded to lecture us, that if we kept the shoes neat, me mother would have not problems. "don't we want our mom to be happy?"

HUh?

My mom LOVES doctor fill. She takes what she likes, rams it down my throat (luckally over 2000 miles distance and a phone wire). And leaves the rest behind. If I ever try to reverse it, I don't know how she will take it. Often she takes it well, other times she Rages. Sometimes when she takes it well, she calls back in a few days, in a rage!

With computers, there are A LOT of different jobs, not just retail. Often in the more comercial aspect of it too, you may more or less report to an office or building everyday, but not be dealing with a constantly revolving "public" that may work for him too if the number of people he has to deal with is small.

Overall, he will find his place in life, especially with your support. Often with Aspies, they have a hard time working, because they still have to do all the "at home" stuff too. By the end of the day, there just is not enough left in them to deal with a house and many basic skills.

My husband has suggested, that we need to take a picture library of different things for my son. He may find it a little "babyish" but when we tell him to go clean his room, give him a few pictures that show his room "clean" and the state we expect to find it in. If we ask him to put away the "shoes" in the closet, show a picture of the shoes in the closet neat and tidy, not just thrown in the back room! He just seems genuinely lost with even small tasks! It is going to be a slow process.

Overall though, you have to try to move him in the direction of independance. With my mom (maybe not the best example ) She was obsessed with "taking care of me" and making sure that all the basics for me where done everyday. It was easier to make my bed, then tell me 100 times to go do it, only to have to "do it again because I did not do it right". so, by 16 I was pretty terrible at this stuff.

Because of her own problems, she could not deal. She had a nearing adult daughter, who was still her full time job! So it turned to anger and frustration with me. I am not saying that will happen with your son! It was a painful and confusing time for me. In the end, I was pushed off a cliff to independance, landed breaking both my legs, but did survive. The legs never healed right!

I should not have been pushed off a cliff, that was wrong. However, I needed to be led down a gental slope, both shown the way and encouraged. Otherwise, I would still be today, on top of the plataou!

I hope this makes sense! I love making up my own metaphores for things. It drives some people nuts! I think it is because of the "visual" thinking.

My son is 17. Very intelligent, funny, gentle, respectful - my best friend and a hero to me with how hard works in getting through the week. but my chest hurts when I think of him behind the wheel of a car or having to navigfate his way through a work day or deal with a jerk boss. He can handle day to day living tasks at home, but we have a very structured home and the focus for years has been on making it a haven for him. I have been thinking about the same things as you, worrying about how to prepare him for adulthood. I have found there are some schools around me that are post secondary schools and I have been looking at them for fall of '08 when his social group goes to college. He has bo idea of where he wants to be at that time. I have had to force myself to not pressure him to do anything he isn't ready for. But if you can, if you have the means, look at some of these types of supportive residential schools. And if you have any ideas come to you on how to help your son, let me know for mine!