Construction is ruining our lives

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Waterfalls
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01 Jun 2015, 6:22 pm

I didn't think a story could help either, but a good story really helped several times, even with nothing around changing. Hope it goes well!!



momsparky
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01 Jun 2015, 8:01 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I am a believer in honoring these needs until the child is ready himself to get past them but that, of course, depends on exactly what can be done.


I do agree with this, although sometimes you do have to make things work.



Fitzi
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02 Jun 2015, 8:04 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
I know that eventually everyone has to learn how to deal with change, but I found with my son that there were times and places to learn each skill, and there was no point at all in forcing an issue when the time wasn't right. That tended to throw things two steps back.


Yes. Every year, when the state tests happen, the younger grade kids get booted out of their classrooms ( for 6-7 days) so that the school can use them for kids who have testing accommodations. Their schedule and routine are completely off as a result. The younger kids end up going on trips a lot and seeing performances in the auditorium during the testing times. Most of the kids love this, but my son regresses every time. He starts having bathroom accidents and meltdowns he can't calm down from (which go on awhile after the testing days are over, even). Despite it happening every year, he regresses every time. It's one of the reasons I am trying to get him in a school for kids on the spectrum. There are too many transitions for him to handle in the public school. Of course, there are many times changes happen that we have no control over but, as those happen so often anyway, I try to avoid or accommodate the ones I can possibly do something about.



ASDMommyASDKid
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02 Jun 2015, 11:23 am

We have luckily not had that happen but we have had times when we would have to either stop a long time waiting for a bus to drop off a disabled child not too far from us, or go around a different way. Naturally neither of these things was acceptable b/c he did not want to go a slightly different route or be late (not really late---but later than usual= late in his mind.)

This was maybe 3 or 4 yrs ago when this was at its worst. I started instituting "Wacky Wednesday" (like the book--which he was familiar with and liked) because I realized that the flip side of providing stability in the form of stable schedules, routes and procedures was making him dependent on them. The reality was that the school was changing things willy-nilly despite them insisting I should not, and frankly aside form that, life is like that.

Adjusting to life means adjusting to change. So on Wednesdays I started intentionally taking the scenic route. I gave him plenty of notice and we re-read the book a lot beforehand. It created some short-term anxiety, of course. The fact that it was scheduled on a regular day each week meant we were barely outside the proverbial box, but I think it was a small change that helped.

I wouldn't have done it too much earlier, but I am glad I didn't wait much longer. Flexibility is really important in terms of decreasing aggression (if one has that issue) and just getting them used to life. I

t helps them deal with changes in TV schedules and other things you can't help because eventually, they can start to generalize that small changes are not the end of the world. Then you work up to bigger ones, when you can, and ideally when your kid can handle the disruption---not right before an important test or anything like that. Summers are good times for that kind of tinkering.



WelcomeToHolland
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03 Jun 2015, 8:12 pm

Well the noise has started. But on the plus side, he really likes the social story. He took it on the drive to school this morning and although he did cry, he was less loud today. And he said "digging" as we drove by and they were actually digging!

ASDMommy: I like that idea. I have been thinking about doing something like it for a while but have never got up the courage. But I think it might be time for me to dive in..


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Fitzi
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03 Jun 2015, 8:22 pm

WelcomeToHolland wrote:
Well the noise has started. But on the plus side, he really likes the social story. He took it on the drive to school this morning and although he did cry, he was less loud today. And he said "digging" as we drove by and they were actually digging!


Awesome! About the social story, I mean. It seems to be helping. How was he when he arrived at school?



WelcomeToHolland
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04 Jun 2015, 12:38 pm

Fitzi wrote:
WelcomeToHolland wrote:
Well the noise has started. But on the plus side, he really likes the social story. He took it on the drive to school this morning and although he did cry, he was less loud today. And he said "digging" as we drove by and they were actually digging!


Awesome! About the social story, I mean. It seems to be helping. How was he when he arrived at school?

He didn't get sent home, so it must have been less than 90 minutes of screaming (that's how long they will wait before sending him home). He wasn't too bad this morning on the drive either. I don't want to curse it, but so far it seems that things are looking up. Oddly, it seems to be doing something good for his language too. :)


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Waterfalls
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04 Jun 2015, 6:01 pm

Maybe you're doing something good for his language by helping him understand and communicate about what's going on :D



WelcomeToHolland
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07 Jun 2015, 8:19 am

Waterfalls wrote:
Maybe you're doing something good for his language by helping him understand and communicate about what's going on :D

Ha yes maybe! Thanks. :)


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