OMG Puberty

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You've already gotten some great advice. I'll just add that the American Girl (The Care and Keeping of You) books helped my daughter a lot. She read them over and over. They present things in a very straightforward, matter of fact manner, which could help alleviate some anxiety. I also agree with a previous poster that this will become a topic of conversation among her friends (i.e. who has gotten it, who has not). When everyone is talking about it, it kind of demystifies things. I know my daughter went from being anxious about getting it, to desperately wanting to get it (because two of her best friends had).

For the bras my daughter started with the camis then moved to soft (no underwire) training bras. They were made of stretchy material and aren't meant for support, but just to get the girl used to wearing something. We got ours at Macys in the childrens section, but probably most department stores have them.

Best of luck to all the moms and daughters entering this stage. I think it can be scary and sad for us moms too in some ways, seeing our daughters mature and knowing all the complications being a young woman will bring. I adore my teenaged daughter, but miss the little girl she was. Those were definitely simpler times!

Does your daughter have Gender Dysphoria, because from my experience growing up, it might have a lot to do with her anxiety over puberty.

No, she does not have gender dysphoria. She actually has a refreshing view of her gender identity. She has never liked girl's playthings (dolls, barbies, playing house, you know...typical girl things), but this is the first year she has ever asked me to buy her pants. She has always wanted to wear dresses and skirts. She calls herself "a girly-girl who doesn't like girly-girl things" LOL!

I think one of the issues for my daughter is that in some ways, she has finally "caught up" to her peers. In second grade, she was still seen as rather babyish by her peers. In 3rd grade it was better, and last year in 4th grade, I think she was finally seen as an equal by her peers and I think she finally felt like she could hold her own and fit in. It was the first year she didn't get supportive services for social deficits--by her choice--and she did really well. I think on some level she is aware that her peers are about to take another leap forward and she will not. She will be behind again. She also does not like increasing responsibility. From her perspective, it is another transition and a whole new set of rules she has to learn. For as well compensated as she is, it is mostly due to really hard work to devise a lot of scripts to deal with situations. As puberty comes, her old scripts are going to become obsolete. She is going to have to figure it all out again. I think the entire prospect of it is overwhelming to her. If there is one thing that she really hates, it is unfamiliar circumstances. Puberty will bring lots of those.