Help ... IEP's ... etc

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My husband is not helping. He didn't want to come to the paediatrican appointment to start with so I dragged him a long. Not that he said anything. I dragged him along to the pscyh appointment .. again he didn't say anything. When I asked him if he was happy with the plan we'd made he just said, 'whatever makes you happy'. I was so frustrated.

He has not been doing reading about Aspergers until I cracked up. His solution to a problem with Daniel is to yell at him which makes everything worse. I've told him over and over again, do not yell, it makes things worse.

Last night Daniel was very stressed, my husband did the usual yell,yell. I was up with Daniel for at least half the night trying to calm him down. He was complaining of a tummy ache. I said, fine we'll go to the hospital. Then Daniel fell asleep - I woke him to say it's time to go to the hospital and he said his tummy felt better.

How do you get dad's to take some responsibility? I told him the other night to Be a Man and take responsibility for his son.

Is this common?[/quote]

The analogy between a jackass and a male is too often appropriate, I know, I am a male. It took me awhile to accept that Aspergers is Autism. I helped with Z and adjusted my responses to him according to the doctor's instructions, but Autistic, no not MY son. Now it is Autistic, yeah he is, bot look at what great kid I have.

Something that helped? You may have to drag your husband to family counselling. I went willingly but it opened a whole new realm of understanding for me. The letter idea sounds good too. Be sure to subtly stroke your husbands ego too, we mules are suckers for that. Hey, feel free to manipulate him into doing what he needs to do. Daniel's best future is at stake.

Like employees, men are best motivated when our needs are addressed.

I had to figure things out for myself. But what might have worked was being told about how much my son needed me to be a good father, to take care of him.

Getting your husband to realize that may be difficult. Be honest about your needs and fears for your son.

Good luck, I am rooting for you!

Ok, I am really excited, I just got off the phone with an aunt of my husbands, and she has recommended among a lot of other things, two software programs for my son.

One is called WordQ the other is SpeakQ

WordQ is a word prediction program, it helps children with spelling and writting on the computer. It is used by a lot of kids with LD's and language difficulties. That said, it does not "do" the work for them, they still need to come up with their own thoughts and ideas and punctuation, and it does not do grammer checking, so they need to proofread, or run a grammer check separately.

It is very easy to use, so it can be used with younger kids too.

the other program is Speak Q. It is a very simple voice recognition program, that can be used with WordQ, so the child can benifit from both programs!

Best yet, the website offers a free 30 day trial for both programs. Although they are not fully compatible with Vista yet, should have the update by end of April!

http://www.wordq.com/wordq2english.html

What can I do with WordQ?


You can use WordQ along with any standard writing software (e.g., Microsoft Word, WordPad, Notepad, or Outlook). When you type a letter, WordQ predicts what you might want to write and displays a list of correctly spelled words from which you can choose. When you see the word you want, you can choose it with a single keystroke or with the mouse. If you need help deciding which word to use, each word can be read aloud before you make a selection.


When you’ve finished typing your sentence, WordQ can read it back to you. Then you can hear if there are any mistakes such as missing words or punctuation. Often you can hear mistakes that you can’t see.

Oh my goodness!!

i a m playing with the Wordq program right now, and I am IN LOVE with it!!

this is must have software for any child who struggles with spelling, sentence structure, or getting thought on paper!!

Thankyou ... I will give WordQ a go tomorrow

There is a queue now with other family members wanting the computer.

I think we need to buy more.

Anyway thanks for the advice everybody!! !

Smelena,

He is doing like my son did at that age, the school tried to say he had behavioral issues to, WRONG, He was just acting silly so he wouldnt have to do his work, because he didnt understand it, and he couldnt keep up with the rest of the class. Which was embarassing to him. He felt like no one liked him because he was different, very low self esteem.
Are you sure no one is laughing at him are picking/bullying him. Thats what it sounds like, would he tell you if they were? As far as the so called teacher, she legally can not do that to that child. That pisses me off because it sounds just like when my son was that age.

If you cant get any response out of the school, go to the Board of Education, and just in case your not keeping records of all this, start doing so immediately. Start at the County and work your way up to the National Board Of Education. Thats what I am in the middle of doing right now. You keep yelling and some body is gonna stop and listen.

Week before last on a Wednesday, My son ask the teacher to please do something with them 4 boys that keep picking on me when I'm in this class. Cause I've had enough and I"m gonna get suspended if you dont.
Thursday, I called the assistant principle and told him that he needs to do something with the 4 boys in Blakes class because hes getting tired of dealing with them everyday.
Friday, I get a phone call from the school telling me Blake got into a fight in class. The boy threw a juice bottle and hit Blake in the back, Blake ask who did it and the boy jumped up and said I did. Blake jumped out of his desk, threw the boy in the floor by his neck and started choking him. All this was taking place while the teacher WAS IN THE HALL AND SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND HER TO TALK TO ANOTHER STUDENT.
.......................THEY SUSPENDED BLAKE..............................
Am I wrong in thinking that they should not have suspended him because he tried to get them to help him. and what the dumb%^# teacher shut the door for knowing a child had been getting picked on by 4 gang members is beyond me.
Blake has had 2 times this year he has had to take up for himself like that, the only 2 fights he has ever been in. He is not a violent disruptive person at all. never has been.

I would like to here the opinions of the members here.

I have already called the State Respresentitive in Montgomery, the county board of edu., Special Edu. Advocacy's Services, I am filing a complaint with the office of civil rights, and the superintendent is suppose to call me this morning. Everyone is saying that they should have handled it and it would have never come to this. To top it all off, they made it sound like Blake just jumped the boy for no reason. GO FIGURE

The Board is taking it off his record and is setting up a meeting with the school to find out why it was not handled immediately. As far the 4 boys, they have 1 more time to get in trouble this year and they will be expelled from school totally.
After the complaint is filed the school is possibly going to have to pay for Blake a private school. If the courts find that they did not put his safety first. and they did'nt.

Document everything word for word and make copys of anything you have to sign amd send back to school.

Know your rights, cause ain't nobody else gonna help that baby like you.
Good Luck, God Bless,
Delane

ummmm ... just on the pencil issue.... i hated the feel of wooden pencils against my skin... only i have to use pencil (accounting) anyone ever tried a mechanical pencil?

i also hold my pencil between my index and middle finger instead of my thumb and index finger

My son was just diagnosed with Aspergers today, but his IEP (which he got a month ago) was based on his original NLD diagnosis. These are the accomodations he has so far, which seem to help:

Alphasmart word processor - this helps with his written output.
Reduced homework
extended time on tests
preferential seating
teacher cues to stay on task
chunk work
wiggle seat
incentive program (he has goals he has to meet each week and if he earns a star for each, he gets a prize)
head phones to cut out auditory distractions (these didn't help at all)

good luck

It's interesting reading this thread that I posted almost 1 year ago.

An update on my husband .....

He is now fantastic with the boys.

He didn't want to come to the psychology sessions with the boys at first, but he was interested in what the expert had to say. I took notes during the sessions then my husband and I would have a discussion that evening.

I found if he started yelling etc, I would say "Remember Ivy (the psychologist) said ......"

So my husband is doing fantastically with the boys. He even took 3 weeks off work so I could go to Europe for 3 weeks.

During this 3 weeks the boys were on school holidays. When I got back from holidays the boys told me that they had so much fun with Dad!

Happy to report that things are great with my husband now.

Helen