5 Year old consumed by fear of death...

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He's such a smart little boy....and he's cooking for himself?

I didn't have these kind of thoughts until I was 11 years old.

How about teaching him about some religions--about their basic theology and their conceptions of an Afterlife. He can compare and contrast beliefs in his mind. Maybe this intellectual exercise could take his mind of his own morbid thoughts. Maybe he'll adopt some belief or other which might provide solace for him.

I am fortunate. I didn't really understand the finality of death until age 11. I cried for one night--and I still fear death to this day. But at least I understood better that I was healthy, and that I won't die for a long time. I've never really believed in God, or a heaven, or any form of afterlife.

He is very smart which can often make things more difficult. He used to not like eating food he didn't see being prepared, and had heaps of questions of what fruits and vegetables help your body with what and stuff like that, he then wanted to help and from there he began want to do it all (other than cutting with a sharp knife or taking things out of the hot oven etc) and he still will not eat a new thing unless you explain to him what benefits it has for your body, with the exception of cake, which is "OK because we only have it sometimes".

He has an amazing memory for facts, and will have many questions about different religions which I do not know answers for, he is not interested in maybes, he has a pursuit for the facts. So much so that he gets us to help him google things (he is still learning to read and write), He doesn't stop asking questions of those he is comfortable with. He will ask questions like how can a car run on petrol and gas? how does a torch work? and sometimes things like What does the universe taste like? He has even asked about aliens, he just on a mission for facts, anything that is not a fact he doesn't want a bar of...

We started to tell him about different religions but it always ended with "Well, is that what happens or not?" and when we explain we have no way to tell he gets very upset, saying he wants to know what happens not what people think.

I do look forward to him starting school next year as the children will have mixed religions and beliefs and maybe that will reassure him it is ok to have faith if you want to.

His fear has somewhat decreased as he has worked out that his pa is "really old" and is still healthy and living, he also keeps changing what he wants to do with his life, from policeman (he likes justice), or a chemist (he doesn't like me or my partner being sick) or Astronaut and to many to list, but recently he has changed his phrasing, to be along the lines of "After I finish school, I want to be a living <Occupation/>"

Personally I have my own theories, which are based more on science than anything else and I had trouble explaining these theories to a physicist (but got there in the end) as they are very in depth, so I stand little chance explaining them to a 5 year old.

At least you're sitting down with him and attempting to answer his questions. This is an excellent start.

It really takes patience when you have such an inquisitive child as this boy. But I believe the patience will be rewarded.

Hopefully, in school, he will have teachers who are as patient as you folks. If he finds these sorts of teachers, he will do well.

I would bet that he's afraid of the dark as well. I used to have these very florid nightmares when it got dark; they didn't really end until I was about seven.

By his definition he isn't afraid or scared of the dark, but he prefers the light to be dimmed rather than off when he goes to sleep, but once he is asleep he doesn't mind if I turn it off. I think this is because he likes to look at the things in his room and probably help his mind slow down or focus on something trivial, as he has said when he tries to sleep his brain won't stop talking to him (not voices).

School was a real worry for us, as he takes a lot of time to warm up to new people, but it seems his quest for knowledge helped him a lot on this one, he recently had his orientation and was happy to go class, lead by a teacher, then sit down and interact with the teacher and other kids (while we were out of sight) and said he likes school because he learns things. We had previously taken him around the school a few times so it became familiar to him and wasn't such a big intake all at once and is fairly non specific, No strange smells, not overly lit, even full of kids the environment was quiet as the teachers obviously had a handle on everything. It all seems very structured, which will all work to his benefit. We are quietly optimistic that he will do well at school.