Severe aggression while happy/excited?

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It is interesting that you mention compression. My son does this thing where he smushes parts of his face against mine. Typically it is a bony part like the forehead or jaw, but lately I have had some success in getting him to switch to cheek to cheek contact b/c I told him at a less charged time that it would be more gentle. It seems like he wants to have his head smushed, particularly his jaw (maybe.) I was thinking on getting him to do a chewing stim like trying to get him to chew on straws, but maybe it is the whole head? He also like to squeeze my head, during these times. Maybe he thinks he is helping me in someway?

He has a CD he likes, but like you say, it kind of has to be there, so he only does the CD thing when he is in his room. I could try to make mp3s out of it or something, and see if portability would work.

It is like a reverse meltdown in a way b/c it is happy, but he seems to have very similar issues with self-control as you do. I can see why it has to burn out with more excitement then. It is almost like if a car is coming and it is faster to keep going to go to the opposite side than to try to go back: Once he is too far down that path, if you know what I mean?

I wish I knew a more technical name for this b/c like WelcometoHolland said, if you try explaining it to people, even those who "know" about the spectrum, they really don't believe that this is a thing--and they think he must really be upset.

It's been really hard for my son to recognize that being "out of control" with HAPPY feelings is just as potentially dangerous as being out of control because of frustration or anger. We've been actively working on being more aware of these states (even when they are fueled by happy feelings) and trying to figure out ways to bring the energy level back down.

It's really, really hard when it's fueled by POSITIVE excitement, because he doesn't WANT to calm down (unlike anger or frustration, which he usually wants to escape from.) And no matter how many times we've been in the situation before, when he's in the moment it's very difficult for him to appreciate that he is at risk of hurting himself or others. He gets into an almost manic state of YES GOOD MORE MORE MORE.

I find my son is most at risk for this out-of-control "up" state when he is overtired. In fact, the few times I thought he was on the verge of some kind of psychotic break was when he was hyper and sleepless and literally bouncing off the walls late at night. Melatonin has helped somewhat with that-- he clearly was not experiencing a typical sleep/wake cycle, and the melatonin has been pretty effective at helping him relax enough to fall asleep before he gets to that overtired point.

I wish I had more to say. My son is only 8 now, but he's going to be HUGE (his dad is 6'6) and so I'm very concerned about how these types of excited states could be dangerous to himself or others if he doesn't figure out how to self-soothe more effectively. Right now we have a pretty limited repertoire of trampoline, breathing (which he usually doesn't want to try), or confining him to his room until he can calm down. He LOVES his trampoline, and he does see it not only as a fun thing but also a TOOL to use when he needs to vent energy, but I'm not sure it really VENTS the energy... what it does, is give him a safe place to experience it while it's still an overpowering feeling. I think seeing it as a TOOL (and not just a toy) has been the biggest step to better self-awareness. He better recognizes that he has these states, that they are not "functional" states, and that there are good things to do while he's there, and not-so-good things.

I don't have much to contribute since we're struggling with this with our 11 yo son but a lot of it makes sense - even the "reverse meltdown." Unfortunately, my son's outbursts aren't always self-directed. I'm going to enact some of the strategies that came up. A lot of it reminds me of the "sensory diet" that we had started to enact but seemed to need revising when he became destructive and now that puberty is starting to hit.

Another thought - are you sure he was feeling happy? Because I sometimes laugh when I'm feeling scared or guilty, not happy at all. For people on the spectrum, smiling and laughter don't always equate to happiness.