Social Problems for my 21 y/o aspie son. Any suggestions?

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I agree about the whole Wiccian thing is not necessarily bad. I remember at 16/17 having tarot cards spread out on the floor at lunch with the people I hung out with. It was a catholic school, but even the priests would just roll their eyes and walk on, I suppose thinking that all things pass in time if you don't make a big deal out of them. I think it is common for younger people to try it on when they are trying to figure out where they fit in in this world...

If you want, I know a lady who is really nice who lives in New Orleans. She is Wiccian, a vegetarian an animal rescuer, a home schooling parent, and in all ways I can see, I very responsible adult. She would to my knowledge have no idea about Aspergers, but she could definitely fill you in on what the religion stands for and does not, and perhaps even offer some options for your son to contact real wiccian sects, and not just the copy cat freaks if this really what he wants to do. I am pretty sure she would be willing to at least exchange a couple emails with you about it. (By the way, I don't know her in real life, she is an online friend but she has really strong moral fibre when it comes to animal rights, and I have known her for awhile now, (around a year and a half). This is not some "flake" out there on the web!

Which is what I think is the problem. It attracts troubled kids in search of an alternate lifestyle opposing the conventional. This outcast mentality increases as people get further into it. Feeling like an outcast opposed to society often means a growing urge to oppose those aspects of society that are beneficial and necessary. There is nothing wrong with seeking out something opposing conventional society (I think AS means we certainly do that ourselves) but the problem is that in the case of Wicca, it attracts a certain type of person who thinks its cool to be a witch. Thats fine as long as you dont' throw out the natural and necessary aspects of living in a mainstream society, but the culture within Wicca means it is a lot easier to begin to throw out these necessary norms of society, leading to anti-social behavior. I have talked to people that were formerly Wiccans who are grateful to have escaped that lifestyle. Also, I do beleive in the spiritual world and I do not believe the spirits interacted with in Wicca are good spirits, though they may claim to be for different reasons.

This has been my experience as well and what I am concerned about.

If it is any consolation, mkgmt, aspies are generally logical and do come to their senses about things, particularly something like wiccans. You know, there is always some element of rebellion in any parent/child relationship and that is why I suggested a therapist.

My heart breaks for you

Give me a few minute along with your parents and I'll tell them off

From a mum of an aspie son.

Smelena

group homes do take more than "just auties" ! there' s one here called Chapel Haven ~they have a website, too I think. they've got a great program for transitioning students into the "real world".......perhaps , if nothing else, they could refer you to a source for finding a decent group home.

Thanks for the suggestion Serious Girl. My son already sees two different therapists. He is really progressing and there has been a significant change in him in the past year. I am just trying to keep him safe and others around him in his "journey".

they don't understand...my dad is quite oblivious...my mom tries and my brother kinda does...
but they still try and give me all this hope and crap which I don't beleive...
I know my life isn't going to be easy-hell it's been s**t so far

Not to be one of those annoying optimists who tell you "life is GOOOOOOD, be HAAAPPY", but look at it this way: the only way is up now. I mean, realistically it could always get worse, but there are so many good possibilities. take that from a person who lost all hope and sunk to rock bottom last year. Its been a continual progression upwards and its still going up. I won't tell you look at all the good thing in your life right now, all the things you can be thankful for, because when people used to tell me that it honestly made me a bit angry at them. What I needed was someone to tell me it would get better. Which it did!

I'm 21 as well, and have been in a similar situation. Honestly, you need to get him to realize that you wont pay for his things, which will ultimately force him to get a job somewhere. If he likes computers hook him up with a computer store. I started working when I was 16 at a local store. The owner didn't want to hire me at first, but my mom talked him into it. When I quit he literally cried because he thought I was one of the best workers he ever had. Since then I have worked 2 other jobs, and I have learned 1 thing If you make your boss look good (doing things %100) they wont get rid of you, no matter how "weird" you are. I've had bosses tell me all sorts of awful things, only to call me when I quit to beg me to come back. I dropped out of school as a kid because of sensory issues - plus a whole other nightmare of drugs and hospitals my parents put me through to try and "fix me". When I can pay attention better I will hopefully go to school one day. UNtil then I can always work in retail until things work out.