I agree with CWA... he is gaming constantly because he is permitted to game constantly. This would be the situation at my home as well, if we didn't have measures in place to avoid it. The problem is, the measures are not fun for anyone. There's a lot of whining, complaining, stomping around, and more demands for "active" parenting.
I don't have anything against computers-- I'm a gamer myself and if I weren't so busy parenting my kids, I'd be battling my own gaming addiction.) So I definitely understand the appeal and the problem. And I also understand that it's a lot easier to parent a child who's in gaming la-la land, than it is to parent an angry, frustrated child who is angry and bored.
If you want to pull him out of this somewhat, then you have to take back control. You have to remind yourself that you are the adult here, and YOU are in control, not him. Set the rules. Just based on what you wrote, it sound as though he has NO limits. He does what he wants. I'd start with the basic rule that there are no screens while eating. Period. He will whine and stomp and complain and curse you, but you have to just lay it down and stick to it. There is NO reason he needs to be gaming BEFORE school, first thing in the morning. I know my kids want to do that as well, and when I backslide and let them have iPods or iPads with breakfast, it's a very quick slide into horrible, bratty behavior.
Take the games away, even if you have to literally lock them up and/or hide them. Specify a set block of time that he can have screens... maybe for an hour before dinner, and then after dinner ONLY if his homework is done. Period. Let him game on the weekend as a reward.
Allow him to be bored! It's OKAY for a kid to be bored. That's the only way they will figure out what they are actually interested in! They need the opportunity to be miserably, unbearably bored, unable to plug into the easy entertainment of their screens. It won't be easy to parent him through this, but it sounds like you want this to change. If you do, you will need to stick through the ugliness of his tantrums when you change the rules.
Lastly, don't get too hung up on what you THINK he "should" be doing when he's not gaming. For now, just let him find ANYTHING other than gaming as an alternative hobby. He needs to wander around the house/apartment, bored out of his mind, searching for something, anything, to DO. Only then will he start to figure out what he actually LIKES to do.
20 Sep 2016, 12:14 am
