Husband leaving me to deal with son's diagnosis alone

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IOW, this experience helped me grow and made me a better person.

You will have to decide what is best for you and your family. I am not claiming that my way is the only or best way. One thing that helped me is that I would set a timer for 30 minutes. For 30 minutes, I could cry, rage, throw myself a pity party, think about how it was unfair and my husband was a jerk... really wallow in it. When the timer went off, I put all of that back on the shelf, put my big girl panties on, and focused myself on what I needed to do FOR MY KIDS. Focusing on my kids got me through it.

Sorry you are facing this. I know how much it sucks.

I am not saying it is easy. It is hard. But the outcome is worth it.

My son (now 26 months) was diagnosed with ASD when he was 19 months. Although my husband accepts the diagnosis and isn't in denial that my son has ASD, he has left me to deal of all aspects of dealing with our son's diagnosis on my own.

I was the one to call EI when our son was 16 months old and felt something was "off". I was the one who researched and vetted developmental psychologists and made and attended the appointments to get our son diagnosed. I was the one who met with social workers to find resources to help pay for therapies, and have since made and attended every therapy appointment on my own. I have made and attended every single doctor appointment (hearing and vision tests, genetic testing, standard pediatrician visits) alone. I am the only one who has done any reading and any research about ASD. I am the main breadwinner (though my husband does work) and had to put my advancing and promising career on hold to take a position where I could work from home to have the flexibility to handle all of our son's appointments and needs... and frankly I feel like I'm one step away from getting myself fired in the process. I can't quit and stay home with our son because my husband barely makes above minimum wage and frankly, his complete lack of action and interest in dealing with ANYTHING ASD-related frankly makes me feel as if I couldn't trust him to stay home with our son anyway.

I have brought this up to my husband three times now. The first time I mentioned it, he promised me he would start helping. I gave him the task of gathering our financial paperwork to send to the county as part of our MA application. A month later the county contacted me asking where the paperwork was... when I asked my husband about it, he said "he forgot". The second time I brought it up to him, he said he likes to take things "day by day" and that I worry too much. Tonight was the third time I have brought it up, and this time his response was, "Why don't you just divorce me then?"

I am at my wits end. I don't want a divorce, but I am becoming really resentful that I have to handle all of the "adulting" when it comes to handling our son's ASD, paying the bills, and running the household, while my husband justs gets to come home from a day at work (while I also worked a full day, got my son on and off the bus to school, and shuttled him to a therapy appointment) and play with our son for an hour while I cook dinner.

I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, or just a place to vent... has anyone else been in this position?