Therapy for kids with Autism - worth it?

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I don't know that the OP is talking primarily about pysch therapy as opposed to things like occupational and speech therapies. I think OT and Speech is different and you can make that into fun games and it has a lot less capability for harm. Not that the wrong therapist of any type can't be a problem. We had issues with a really horrible ST that the school was using towards the end of our stay in PS. But in general, my son thought it was fun.

I agree. Occupational and speech therapy are very practical and grounded, fairly similar to a gym class. Not great, but tolerable enough with a good teacher. Basically, stuff like practice drills and benchmarks, that an aspie can actually work with. On the other hand, most psych/talk therapy out there can drive an aspie child/teen to depression and/or alcohol abuse. And that's if they're sneaky enough to get their hands on their parents' liquor.

On the "plus" side, therapy helped me get good at lying and fabricating things, as well as develop an excellent BS detector.

I know OT and Speech helped my son. Later on not so much as he would just say what the therapist wanted to hear and would lie about how he was doing. when he was younger bother where great though!

Too funny! I, too, started fabricating improvement during my psych therapy, just to get therapist off my back. After I picked up on what she wanted to hear, I started talking about my (nonexistent) improvements, causing her to react very positively. Even more so, I used flattery and exaggerated empathy. By saying stuff like: "You're smart! I'm happy we talked about it. I feel so lighter. We need more people in your specialty, so less kids would have to struggle like I did." The fact that she didn't catch me in my fakeness makes me wonder, and not in a good way.

Of course, a massive contributing factor to my problems was my parents' strictness. But when I tried to talk to my therapist about it, she pretty much told me: "Want some cheese with that whine?" Well, not in those exact words, more like: "You felt sad and powerless when your parents control you" and not a hint of advice to help me assert myself. That's when I knew she was the wrong person to talk about it with. I never brought it up again, and decided to drown my sorrows in whiskey instead. All while keeping her happy with my lies.

If I ever had to see a therapist today, as an adult, I'd probably just come to the sessions drunk.

Really like this summary.

I will note that my college age son has recently told me that he is grateful for all the support and "therapy" he received. He is well aware that doors are open to him that he sees closing on other ASD students his age. We started much later than your child's age, and must of what we choose to do was offered without cost from the school, so I can't really speak to what you are working on now. I only know that what my son got over time worked for him, and I see really positive results in other families that were unheard of a few decades ago. Of course, it helped that my son was never shy about telling me in the moment exactly what he thought of what we were asking him to do, and that feedback helped us tailor the services he was receiving to best meet his needs.

There is no simple answer to your question. You have to consider your unique child's gifts, burdens, and dreams in deciding what is the best course to take.

My son never did psych therapy. While we once had a referral for it, the psychologist was quick to tell us that ASD isn't a psychological disorder, and my son didn't seem to have any co-morbids that were. He was right, of course.

He did decide my son might benefit from an anger management group he was starting for children my son's age, if my son thought that was something he was interested in. My son actually really liked that group, even if his issues were a bit different from the other students'.

I have a daughter who truly needs psychology therapy, and willing embraces the process. Knowing WHAT therapy to sign up for is pretty darn important. When its right, the child knows it.

What kind of therapy was it? It had to be better than what I got. Seriously.

My therapy was a dog-and-pony show that did nothing! The therapist grilled me about my feelings, didn't believe me when I told the truth, and even mocked me when I talked about how my family treated me. (Well, maybe it wasn't intentional, but the canned empathy statements, unique to therapy, came off as mockery.) I didn't dare mention my family problems to the therapist again. I also turned to abusing alcohol to feel better. I was still in middle school at the time. Imagine that: a minute of drinking helped me more than an hour of talking to a professional.

I am so sorry to hear that.

My daughter went into therapy with me clearly telling her that could be a hit or miss process, and that if she did not like the therapist we would keep going until we found one she did like.

I can't tell you what happens in the sessions, only that my daughter chooses to go back, and tells me that she really trusts the woman. From the conversations with the therapist I believe I can see why; she is very supportive. And she honors my daughters request to tell me pretty much nothing, as that seems to be essential for my daughter's willingness to engage in the process.

I think I am a very different kind of parent than yours were, and approach finding help for my daughter differently, as well. I'm trying hard to do things in the ways my unique children seem to need.

PS: None of what we've done with her is covered by insurance, by the way. Not every parent has the luxury to just pick what they think is best, and worry about how to pay for it later. But being willing to do that has made a difference with my daughter. Not very many therapists where we live are willing to go through insurance; we figured that out very quickly and adjusted accordingly.

Well, my therapy situation was radically different.

First and foremost, it was paid for by the state, with my parents paying only a nominal copayment. So maybe my own therapist was less qualified than your daughter's. Also, I was taught to never criticize authority figures. And viewed her as just that: a variant of a teacher. So even though I thought she was an idiot at times, I didn't dare tell my parents. In their defense, they didn't ask me about the sessions. Although, when the therapist poked at my emotional scabs and made me cry, I always washed my face with cold water prior to going back into the lobby. If my face was red, I said the room was too warm; my parents believed me. Two things helped me: (1) it was an old building, so the notion of HVAC not working well made sense; and (2) I overheated easily at that age, and my parents knew.

While I now realize she would have honored my wishes not to divulge anything to my parents, damage was done and trust was broken. Because after she "mocked me" (in my mind) with empty words of empathy, I "knew" she was on their side. So, telling her how upset my parents' actions made me was simply pointless. Plus, I had lingering fears that she'd tell them my secrets "for my own good" or "to help bring my family closer". So instead, I fabricated nonexistent problems, like test anxiety, and acted like I resolved them with her help. I even regurgitated emotion words from a psychology book I checked out from a public library; because "feelings". I also never mentioned my alcohol use to the therapist, other than in wishful or hypothetical references.

Some time down the road, I think my parents caught on to the dance of fakery my therapy degenerated into. That's when they pulled me out of therapy. I felt totally indifferent about it.

I get so sad reading many of your posts, Aspie1. So often things went for you in a way they didn't need to, and then got worse because of mindsets you had. If those mindsets were forced on you or if they came from misinterpreting what was being told to your or going on around you we will probably never know; most likely some combination. Regardless, it is frustrating for someone like me to hear about, and while I think it hasn't gone that way for my son I might never actually know. As many of your posts make obvious, you became an expert at hiding. I hope life goes better for you now.

I totally relate to this idea of us parents taking the relevant bits and pieces from therapy that will work for our kids - some of our therapists' suggestions just don't ring true or don't seem practical for us, but I'll give the others a go... whether they're working or not...? Not sure...

Claradoon and Will@rd have it right. Ultimately, the best type of "therapy" is real life therapy. I wish I had more of that growing up. I wish I had been encouraged to become more independent at an earlier age and encouraged to seek social activities based on my interests. It is only in the last couple of years that I have really improved in that regard. Oh, well, I'm doing it now. It would have been much easier if I had years more practice.