Board index › Coping in life › Parents' Discussion

When will she be interested in me?

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

CWard12213
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 30 Apr 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 28

17 Aug 2018, 1:58 pm

Chronos wrote:
CWard12213 wrote:
I freaking love her, I can't even explain it. I am so grateful, overall, for who she is and how she is. It's OK if she isn't "normal." I and most members of my family tend pretty strongly towards major introversion to a degree. For example, my dad's dream vacation (which he takes annually) is to spend a week or two in the woods by himself, and he specifically told me his chose his career in part because it involved minimal social interaction. She can be whoever she needs to be and it's fine by me.

I just get really stressed out and a little depressed when I think that she might not feel as bonded to me as I do to her, but you are all helping to put that into perspective.


Give her the benefit of the doubt. You are mommy and you are special to her even if she doesn't express this in the typical way. A lot of people on the spectrum can't even express discomfort in the typical way.

A lot of people on the spectrum are actually very interested in other people. They just have no idea how to engage.


I'm actually daddy :) But your point is well taken.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

17 Aug 2018, 2:14 pm

CWard12213 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
CWard12213 wrote:
I freaking love her, I can't even explain it. I am so grateful, overall, for who she is and how she is. It's OK if she isn't "normal." I and most members of my family tend pretty strongly towards major introversion to a degree. For example, my dad's dream vacation (which he takes annually) is to spend a week or two in the woods by himself, and he specifically told me his chose his career in part because it involved minimal social interaction. She can be whoever she needs to be and it's fine by me.

I just get really stressed out and a little depressed when I think that she might not feel as bonded to me as I do to her, but you are all helping to put that into perspective.


Give her the benefit of the doubt. You are mommy and you are special to her even if she doesn't express this in the typical way. A lot of people on the spectrum can't even express discomfort in the typical way.

A lot of people on the spectrum are actually very interested in other people. They just have no idea how to engage.


I'm actually daddy :) But your point is well taken.


Daddy, my mistake. I caught a glance of my header instead of yours.

Same advice applies.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Aug 2018, 2:14 pm

Two-year-olds are not really interested in "bonding." They're too busy being contrary. They are trying to stake their own claim in life.

It's "normal" for a two-year-old to throw a tantrum for no apparent reason.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

17 Aug 2018, 2:20 pm

My father was away at school/work most of the day when I was young but I couldn't truely relax until he was home. I would lay there in bed until awake until I heard him walk in the house, though at 2, I probably didn't show much overt interest in him unless he had food or was picking me up from pre school.



SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,927

19 Aug 2018, 9:17 am

My very NT preschooler started talking at 3 months, spoke in advanced way for maybe 6 months, then stopped advancing in his speech for a long time. My husband and I are unnecessarily wordy, and our son seems to be picking this up as well. He is 4 1/2 now, and people still have trouble understanding him. Part of that is because he says unexpected things, using unexpected vocabulary. Bilingual kids also have delays or early “problems” with speech that then resolve. It’s because the kid has too much going on in their heads.

Be prepared that gifted kids often have slower emotional and social development. I mean, you can’t go 150% on all levels at once. Some things have to take a backseat in a busy toddler brain. This is true whether the kid is autistic or not.

And get used to no recognition from your kids. They take you for granted because they don’t know anything but your support. It probably means you’re doing a good job.