Pros of not having kids?

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kraftiekortie
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26 Oct 2021, 4:45 pm

I've been accepted as a contributor here many times, even though I've never been a parent.

IsabellaLinton
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26 Oct 2021, 4:48 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:

Technically, as per the description, this subforum is meant for parents of people with ASD, though I think it's widely accepted on there that even people w/o kids or w/o autistic children can ask questions about general parenting and childrearing decisions.

Was it really designed for parents of autistic kids? I didn't realise that. I assumed Parents' Discussion is for those of us who are autistic who have children, and the challenges of being autistic when raising kids. Not that it matters either way, but I've never seen a descriptor anywhere.

I guess I'm both, because I'm autistic and my daughter is also on the spectrum.

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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Oct 2021, 4:52 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

HeroOfHyrule wrote:

I honestly have always thought that it was meant for people with ASD children, people with ASD who have children, and people who have general questions about parenting/childrearing. I was just pointing out that if we're going to be super technical that the description (which shows up on computers but not phones) doesn't say this is only for people who generally have children, but we can all agree that people who generally have children and have other concerns relating to children comment and post all the time and are allowed to do so.

I'm going to not comment on this anymore though since I don't want to derail the thread, sorry OP. :oops:

IsabellaLinton
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26 Oct 2021, 4:55 pm

I agree it's for every and anyone. Maybe it should be called "Parenting Discussion", because we all have views about parenting, even related to how our own parents raised us.

Back to the OP, today I'd say a pro of not having kids is that you don't have to deal with your daughters' hormonal fluctuations. I hope that doesn't sound harsh and I love my girl but -- wow. PMS is a real thing.

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GadgetGuru
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26 Oct 2021, 4:58 pm

> Pros Of Not Having Kids?

The look of profound relief on the face of a psychiatrist conducting an initial interview with me, when he hears the answer "no" to the question "Do you have any children?"...

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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Oct 2021, 5:05 pm

I think another pro while having ASD is that you can have your own issues and can learn how to properly cope with them w/o worrying about being a bad role model on your children. My parents who have ASD traits don't handle them well at all and I'm always worried about potentially teaching children I might have, who may or may not have ASD or eventually have children with ASD, bad coping mechanisms that I've learned and haven't unlearned yet. No parent is perfect, but I think when you have a disorder that causes emotional issues and issues figuring out how to handle them it's very important to be careful and mindful about that. Not to mention having OCD and other problems that can be stressful for children to observe + that they may possibly inherit and need proper coping skills for.

xxZeromancerlovexx
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26 Oct 2021, 11:55 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:

I also tend to shut down and stop caring about people and myself so I see what you are saying. It would be difficult to use my coping skills only to have to give a kid attention.

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RetroGamer87
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04 Nov 2021, 6:36 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:

For those of you who have decided against having children, what were the pros and cons? I'd rather play video games, have time to put on makeup before I walk out the door and not have to get a 9 to 5 job to support children.

All closed to me now. I miss the days when I could work 9 to 5, come home and use the 5 or 6 hours to rest. Now it feels like coming home to a second full time job.

There's a saying. Insanity is hereditary. You inherit it from your kids. I used to think this saying was just a funny joke. It's not. It's literally true.

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RightGalaxy
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19 Jan 2022, 1:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Yep....all those things.

But I feel like I've missed out on being able to raise a person, and to have that person be a product of me. Just being called "dad." Being able to say "I am a father."

It's sort of a situation where I desire what I can't obtain----but when I obtain it, I might regret it.

I'm 60 years old----should have been a grandpa by now!

Kraftie, check out my post on parent discussion called adult child dating. Keep in mind that my child is biracial. Do you think I'm over the top in mistrust.

killerBunny
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08 Mar 2022, 4:15 pm

You get to have an extra 20 years of personal growth in areas you are interested in.

But you will have half your life regretting not having them

Faustian tradeoff

I wish I was able to be a parent. It is not apparent to most that this question about becoming a parent assumes you are able to handle the job well. Because after not being a parent , being a bad parent is probably regret number 2.

So I would say cover the split and have step kids.

kitesandtrainsandcats
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08 Mar 2022, 4:30 pm

Having no kids removes the stress and sometimes heartbreak of constantly being at a total loss as to how to positively interact with a human being whose emotional and psychological composition are so very, very, different from yours, even to the point where doing what would be a sign of love to one would be doing a deliberate emotional injury to the other.

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Pepe
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08 Mar 2022, 9:31 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:

A lot of my friends have children now and they are constantly busy and don't have as much free time anymore. I personally don't want kids and haven't wanted kids since as long as I can remember.

For those of you who have decided against having children, what were the pros and cons? I'd rather play video games, have time to put on makeup before I walk out the door and not have to get a 9 to 5 job to support children. The only con I can think of is not being like "everyone else" and having to explain to everyone why I know having children isn't the right choice for me. I can hardly take care of a virtual pet for crying out loud!

For a start, I am an atheist and see no point in bringing life into a pointless existence full of corruption, selfishness, sadism, and misery.

The good thing for me is that I have absolutely no parental instincts and having a child is one of my worst nightmares.
That is not to say I don't care about people. I just have no interest in perpetuating the nonsense.

Some are ruled by evolutionarily inspired instincts, and some are not.

Pepe
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08 Mar 2022, 9:34 pm

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renaeden
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08 Mar 2022, 10:03 pm

Fnord's pros list - yep, all of that.

Except my housemate is like a kid. I've stepped on her Lego.

There are not many cons, only one I can think of is who will look after me when I'm old and can't take care of myself anymore.

Pepe
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08 Mar 2022, 10:19 pm

renaeden wrote:

There are not many cons, only one I can think of is who will look after me when I'm old and can't take care of myself anymore.

Not a good reason to have a kid, imo.

LordMikey
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10 Mar 2022, 11:42 pm

Having children is probably the worst thing anyone can do in their personal lives to our world's environment (many people can do worse to the environment at work). The carbon footprint of having a child includes the carbon footprint of every future descendent of that child (or a portion thereof, to be mathematically precise).

I think we should really be encouraging young people to be gay. (I'm only half joking...)

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