My dad made me jaywalk across busy oilfield road.

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I dont have legal title to the cars so if I threatened to leave him at a gas station with a car he could take that as threatening to steal the car which would make the situation worse.I would be homeless if I could but he told me that I would be dead in 6 months if I was homeless.In the church of Christ we always have to be willing to give our fellow members unlimited chances in order to be forgiven by Jesus.I would have no phone either because they own it too.I also dont have a bank account thats mine.

.I did call the cops one time but they did not take me seriously at all even when he said he was going to kill me.My mom says I am horrible.I dont like either of my parents a lot of the time.I dont trust them either.

Last edited by Texasmoneyman300 on 17 Dec 2021, 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

it sounds like he’s not committed to the church or its values. Have you ever heard of religion-based gaslighting or virtue signalling?

ya I have.I am very aware of religious gaslighting like what happens in cults.But if he is not committed to the church of Christ that does not mean I have to stop being a Campbellite.Everyone makes mistakes every day.I have to be willing to forgive and give him unlimited chances or I will be thrown into the abyss on my death day by Jesus.Jesus said to Forgive 70 times 7.But from my best impression he is very convinced of church of Christ values.

Any way of thinking that insists you have to tolerate chronic abuse is enabling and contributing to that abuse.

That’s from Matthew. I understand your position although your father sounds abusive. Peter wasn’t abused in the same way.

It’s difficult to take a stand against narcissists. Would your church condone all forms of interpersonal abuse?

Sounds like your dad is a stickler for getting you to do what he wants and isn't able to tolerate it when you don't get simple things so takes out on you.

The gaslighting bit might be his taking out his frustrations (maybe his drinking/hunting buddies have sons he wished he had).

It sounds like you and old dad might have reached that good o'l fork in the road and it's time to part the ways.

Before you do the classic Texan thing and ride off into the sunset
1. Are you old enough to leave home?
2. Are you able to live independently both financially and in terms of functioning ok?
3. Do you have other options in the pipeline or are you stuck with living home?
4. Where's mom? what does she have to say?

Peter suffered far more abuse than i ever will.All is a strong word.

I can function just fine.....its just the fact that I am unemployable so my plan if I have to support myself independent of them is to be a church of Christ preacher on church staff aside from being starting my own church of Christ since that is very-in demand career field right now.My best option may just to be a church of Christ preacher that works for a church instead of one that starts his own.i am working on buying a plot of land to live on in the country.Mom constantly sides with dad and says I am horrible and she kicked me out but I am back.Mom is worse than my dad in many ways.She thinks I am lazy and everything is my fault and that I am a horrible son.

Dr Ramani - Toxic People, Religion & Spirituality




Dr Ramani - Narcissists and Virtue Signalling

We don't know the full story with the OP's parents so it may be unfair to slap labels onto his parents

It sounds like you have plan and I hope works out for you. I think prepare yourself to live independently. I can recommend a little exercise for you. Try and put yourself in your parent's shoes and view yourself through their eyes. What are they seeing when they look at you and how you live? Are they sociopaths, poor parents or are they anxious and worried about you?

I want you to give them an opportunity to still be in your life as you have spent 30 years with them and its a big step to leave them. If after reflecting and you do realise they love you please stay in touch with them as having them in your life to fall back on is not a bad thing if they demonstrate they are supportive. In the meantime make plans to leave home as it sounds to me your parents are ready for you to fly the nest.

I'm not slapping labels on his parents whatsoever.

I'm sharing info about the ways religion can manipulate people into being abused.

It's in reference to his own fears about going to hell.

That message could be from clergy, or from any part of his community.

I'm certainly not criticising his faith or his family, just sharing some videos that are relevant, in my opinion, to the types of concerns he has raised (e.g., he said in the OP that he feels gaslit).

I am really wary to fill the OPs head about his parents. Please let him sort that aspect of his life himself. What I think we all agree is that it's best (for his own mental health and personal development) for the OP to strike out on his own as an independent young man.

Well honestly it could be that they both could be on the spectrum my therapist thinks dad is and they are both sociopathic at times.I plan on leaving home at the first opportunity.I am trying to get a group of room mates together and move somewhere.I think they honestly mean well.However they did tell everyone in the holiday letter that I still live with them so maybe they are more on the psychopathic side or just plain ignorant.They dont think autism limits me and they always tell me I can do anything I want.But I think they do the best they can.I think my mom is prolly on the sociopathic side because she made me bleed one time in a struggle that she started when she laid her hands on me when i was not physical or anything.My dad is constantly hugging touching and kissing me without my permission and I called the cops one time and they thought there was nothing to it even though one of my teachers said any time you touch someone without their permission it could be construed to be a violation of the law.

Texas can make of it what he will.

Other posters referred to his father as a dick or an idiot, with no complaints.

I never said anything like that, but rather I supported his faith and his difficult position.

Best wishes, Texas.