Car seat

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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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14 Apr 2022, 8:29 am

I know people who call their 4-year-olds "babies"---and that's fine with me.

Is your little girl talking yet? (note: I didn't talk till I was 5 1/2 years old).

DW_a_mom
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15 Apr 2022, 1:01 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

She can't do it again if her car doesn't go. This will keep the baby safe.

Why not give her a chance to realize this on her own? It sounds to me like she's been in emotional turmoil because of the way your child reacts to the seat. Instead of confrontation, why not allow her to see the solution you are offering, that leaving the child with you instead of trying to take her in the car solves the concerns of both partners? Remember that it is also in the long term best interests of your child to see you model reasoned conflict resolution at home.

I see what you're saying. On that night she wanted me to catch the train home by myself while she, the baby and my mother-in-law drove home. This plan was interupted because the baby cried as soon as I left the car. So it was decided that I would remain in the car. Had I gone in the train the baby would still have been in danger from the car.

Interesting. I'm going to bet your child would have preferred traveling by train. There's another possible alternative: public transit. Kids tend to really like public transit, although fellow passengers aren't quite as enthralled with traveling kids as the kids are with the means of travel ...

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DW_a_mom
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15 Apr 2022, 1:02 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I know people who call their 4-year-olds "babies"---and that's fine with me.

Is your little girl talking yet? (note: I didn't talk till I was 5 1/2 years old).

My two adult children are still my babies. But to avoid confusion I do not usually refer to them as such.

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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2022, 5:28 am

I’m 61, and I’m still my mother’s baby.

DW_a_mom
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15 Apr 2022, 8:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I’m 61, and I’m still my mother’s baby.

There's a children's story that repeats the rhyme:

Love you forever
Like you for always
Long as I'm living
My baby you'll be

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RetroGamer87
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16 Apr 2022, 7:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I know people who call their 4-year-olds "babies"---and that's fine with me.

Is your little girl talking yet? (note: I didn't talk till I was 5 1/2 years old).

A little bit. So far she's using sentences of no more than two words at a time.

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IsabellaLinton
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16 Apr 2022, 10:48 am

The law is reason, free from passion (Aristotle)

You have to follow the law where you live, not the cultural practice of your wife's childhood. Unfortunately you can't let the emotions of your wife, your mother-in-law, or even your daughter endanger your child or put you as the driver at risk with police. I'd recommend your wife watch road safety videos or take your daughter on an outing to the local police station to learn what police are, and how they help people. They will check that your car seat is installed correctly and they'll show your daughter how she should be seated. Maybe she'll take it more seriously if she hears it from friendly officers instead of her mum and grandmum.

Your daughter will need to follow the law in many situations as she grows up, whether she agrees with the law or not. I'm sure you'll want her to wear a seatbelt when she drives, and not drink and drive. You wouldn't want her to stay out all night, take drugs, or participate in any other activities which could jeopardise her wellbeing.

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Pteranomom
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22 Apr 2022, 1:44 am

It's illegal, full stop. The baby has to be in her carseat, but that doesn't mean it has to be a fight.

1. If your wife won't put the baby in the carseat, then you do it!

2. Never drive the baby anywhere if she's not in the carseat. No arguing. No fighting. Just no moving car until she's in and buckled. If she just can't or won't, then don't go.

3. Have a selection of SPECIAL TOYS that are only for when she's in the carseat. Keep them in the car. When she gets in the carseat, she gets a toy from the special toy bin.

4. Keep car trips short and sweet so she doesn't have time to get bored and upset.

Good luck.

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24 Apr 2022, 4:44 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Of course it's the law but how do I force someone to obey the law? Call the police on her?

Yes! It's illegal to not put a child in a proper seat because it's for their own safety. If she won't listen to you, maybe she will listen to them?

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