When to tell your child

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I don't think anyone was referring to you Joe90. It was just a very general point about the general topic of kids making friends, and I'm sure no offence was intended at all to anyone, so don't think that at all.

With respect to kids making friends, my take is that it's important not to emphasise too much to kids about whether they have friends or not, as they might get worried about that.
I think it's good to encourage kids to just live in the moment, not analyse everything too much.
To me, it's also important for kids to learn to be kind to others, that is an important basis for having a good relationship with someone else.

That sounds so much fun at the youth club munstead, and well done to you for volunteering, I wish I had time for something like that. I love the idea of passing on life hacks. I'd love to hear some of your life hacks (that would be a great thread for this forum, for people to share their life hacks, don't you think? Like to start a thread on that?)

I think you're right that many people are drawn to cheerful positive people, but I think that in the millions of people on the planet there are potential friends out there for all sorts of people, some people are drawn to lighter, cheery people and some to more serious and heavy people. In fact, some people who are rather serious and melancholic can also have a very humourous side, so sometimes people can have many complex angles.

It seems to me that making friends is a bit of luck, it depends on who you happen to meet, and the atmosphere in which you meet them, so there's many elements of luck. Friendship seems to me a large amount of unpredictable magic! I think we can't predict it or even make it happen, it is one of those things that somehow happens best if you are not watching too closely or thinking about it!

That sounds so much fun at the youth club munstead, and well done to you for volunteering, I wish I had time for something like that. I love the idea of passing on life hacks. I'd love to hear some of your life hacks (that would be a great thread for this forum, for people to share their life hacks, don't you think? Like to start a thread on that?)

I think you're right that many people are drawn to cheerful positive people, but I think that in the millions of people on the planet there are potential friends out there for all sorts of people, some people are drawn to lighter, cheery people and some to more serious and heavy people. In fact, some people who are rather serious and melancholic can also have a very humourous side, so sometimes people can have many complex angles.

It seems to me that making friends is a bit of luck, it depends on who you happen to meet, and the atmosphere in which you meet them, so there's many elements of luck. Friendship seems to me a large amount of unpredictable magic! I think we can't predict it or even make it happen, it is one of those things that somehow happens best if you are not watching too closely or thinking about it!

I don't really know what people are drawn to. There was this girl who I used to work with, and she had BPD (borderline personality disorder). She had an angry sort of scowl on her face but still seemed to attract men and even got chatted up by a passerby she didn't even know, while I stood there totally ignored (not that I wanted to get chatted up like that but it's the principle of it that got to me). She was rather gothic, was quite immature, and was sulky and selfish and had that aggressive vibe about her. She'd always give everyone her life story and always made everything about her and didn't seem to care about anyone else or their problems. She got on my nerves. But she seemed to attract both men and women. The other females preferred her to me, and the other guys all fancied her. Working with her really destroyed my self-esteem and I was glad the day she was fired. I don't know how she got so popular. I'm not saying she was ugly or anything but I wouldn't say she was stunningly attractive. Like I said she often had a miserable sort of scowl, which I was always taught that was unattractive even if you are attractive. I've learnt to smile and be happy and positive around people at work, despite all that I've been through with my mum dying and everything. I don't sit there whining and going on and on about myself.

I just don't. Get. It. In fact this must be the eighth wonder of the world. I've scratched my head so many times trying to work this out that I think I've given myself dandruff.

I used to want to be popular in the worst way. I always tried too hard. I would do stupid things just to get attention. I became a pariah in high school.

When I stopped caring how popular I was, I became—while never popular—at least not a pariah, and respected for just “being myself.”

My mother never realized that I had grown way beyond that unpopular kid. She’s still afraid to introduce me to her friends.

But so what? I know what I’m about. I’m not perfect…..but I’m okay. I really don’t care whether I’m popular or not—as long as I’m respected.

I wonder about scenarios like these sometimes.
Because it's not something I've been through.


I don't need a revelation diagnosis from my parents to figure I'm different from the rest.
I don't need the internet, a book, someone's words, or even enough level of word comprehension to grasp that fact.

If anything, my parents learnt too late.
Not that I could fault them for it -- they couldn't afford that for some time.

Not like my mom ever had a chance to think about when to tell me, when I'm basically a teenager while listening to the diagnostician and my mom.
Or the fact that I can read. Or the fact I'm intelligent enough to understand that my parents don't get it.

I certainly don't know about anyone else.

My parents could cry all they want about it, and I'd just be very annoyed than sympathetic.
But if they start fussing about it, I'll basically tell them to shut up and go away.

And do it myself so I'll save the trouble for them and myself.
I dislike it when people are being too worried about me, and I hate it more if anyone around me dared to cry over me.

I won't ever be grateful if someone is doing something for me, for the sake of me being grateful for them.


Thankfully, they understand and respect this type of autonomy.
Even if my mom took years to understand that I'm not some lonely soul who needed a friend or hugs or some social upkeep.

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