Need advice/comments from parents of kids w/ Asperger's...

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It seems you have already spoken your mind to your sister. It is a tough situation, but you've put your thoughts out there and she said "no, thank you." In the end, it comes down to each of us doing our best to raise our children. We will all make mistakes. Probably tons of them. The only thing you are going to do if you keep bringing this up is build a wall between the two of you. Perhaps she will come around on her own. In the meantime, you can be a safe haven for your niece and offer her a place where she can just be herself and not "the autistic kid."

If it were me, I would never mention it again unless she brings it up.
Good luck,
Amanda

I have a friend with a child with Special Needs including Autism, there have been times where it felt like she lived and breathed this, but realistically she does. My son has been undergoing assessment with a suspicion of Aspergers, we hyped ourselves up for this diagnosis, which never came. He was basically discharged from the service with a very vague diagnosis of Anxiety, sensory issues and motor/coordination difficulties. They offered no assistance, their OT had resigned. I sought a private OT and she has given a diagnosis of Developmental Dyspraxia. Now I still wonder if he is on the spectrum, but for now I am able to explain to people that he has Dyspraxia. I understand where your sister is coming from and I myself I,m sure have been seen as being obsessive by others. I now understand where my friend has been coming from all these years.