How in the hell do you get your kid to eat lunch at school?

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[quote="gbollard"

Unless your child is seriously undernourished (not eating at all for any meal), it would be best if you could cut him/her some slack. There's a great line in one of Dr Green's books about infants who won't eat... ...call me on day 20 if he's not eating at all.

Obviously you wouldn't wait 20 days really, but if a kid is eating, even "junk" food, he won't starve.[/quote]

Interesting line of thought. Z is almost 11 and we've had this problem almost as long as he's been in school. The problem we have ith his not eating is that his metabolism is so fast that when he does't eat it seriously affects his behavior. He also complains of headaches and nausea when he doesn't eat. When he gets home he is ravenous, you know the cat and fish have already disappeared and the dog is in definite jeopardy if we don't have something for him to eat right away kind of hungry? His attitude and behavior is at the day's lowest ebb. He eats a good dinner and 2-6 "snacks " before bed. He generally is "starved" when he awakens and has to eat "RIGHT NOW!", needless to say he does eat a good breakfast.

We have tried everything we can think of, packing his favorite foods, buying lunches , requesting his teacher's or aides monitor his eating, a note from his Pediatrician saying he needs to be monitored. He might take a few bites but no real successes. He still hasn't learned the fine art of deceit, he tries but just can't lie for long, so we know he's not eating by his own admission, not to mention reports from his sister S and of course the teachers, school nurse and administrators.

Man, I got sidetracked, gbollard, your advice is good if not eating doesn't interfere with his life. I really mean that. Also his not eating regularly will drive a parent nuts. Not me, I'm already there.

Don't give in. Do what it takes to get them to eat. I had problems with refusing to eat during lunch period on the early part of 1st grade, 5th grade, and 9th grade (that is, the beginnings of Elementary school, Middle school, and High School) because of the stress associated with adjusting to a new school, a different cafeteria, etc. I couldn't eat when stressed. But as soon as I would, it wouldn't seem so bad at all. Don't let kids develop poor eating habits because of something seemingly trivial like that.

Is it possible you can go to the school and spy....I mean observe what happens during the lunch time? Or maybe have lunch with him and see if he eats then? Sometimes you are the better one, over a teacher or aide, to see what the disturbances might be.

It's really an aspie thing, though I haven't really thought about it properly yet (to put it into terms that other people understand) but not eating is a combination of factors.

Sometimes it's the textures of the food (and sometimes we just don't want anything in our mouths).

Sometimes it's a sort of embarrassment about eating, particularly eating with non-immediate family. Even immediate family can trip this sometimes. I have good friends who claim to have never seen me eat anything.

Sometimes it's that the food is "too messy" - hence fruit is often out.

Often, we just aren't hungry, or the hunger pangs aren't too great. Remember that an asperger's child will not be as bothered by such pangs as other kids - resistance to feeling.

There's not much that can be done about school since your children are "out of your hands". One thing I try to do is keep a jar of biscuits in the cupboard. The kids will often ask for them between meals. They're not messy and can be eaten out of sight etc.

I know that this isn't the best health recommendation and you shouldn't let your kids eat biscuits as a substitute for healthy major meals but if there's a metabolism thing involved, it's a good interim option.