School time dillemma again

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And putting your child first is about getting things done, not screaming or making a scene. And frankly, if I were that angry at someone, I'd be fearing for Pop's safety at that place. I'd pull him out before it got that bad.

Why do you call your boy after a grandpa? That seems very odd.

Pop looked like an old crank when he was born and so we nicknamed him Pop. But also we live in Tucson and Papi (pronounced poppy) is a popular nickname for boys and men. Papi means a lot of things here. We call him both Pop and Papi. My husband also calls him "B" for boy. I use his real name equally but I won't use it here because it's very distinctive, I don't want him easily identified.

Thanks. Now it all makes much more sense.

Okay, so my husband goes to the meeting and he came out feeling satisfied.

1)They (school psychologist and special ed teacher) were coming from the idea that Pop is "too high functioning" for special ed enrollment. They introduced the idea that he be taken off the roster and be considered a regular ed student with a "resource teacher".
My husband thoroughly shot that down as that is what happened last year (by accident). Resource teachers aren't required to be trained in autism at all. It opens him up to all sorts of mistreatment.

2)They were frustrated by what they perceived as we wanting them to devote "more time" with Pop despite him attending a regular 2nd class. They couldn't grasp the idea of teaching Pop social and pragmatic skills in a "target format". Meaning, we have discussed identifying Pop's pragmatic skills and deficits and building on them. Instead they are reacting to his behaviors.
This led to confusion over communication with us. They would basically "tattle" on him in the communication log.
My husband believes he has convinced them that we aren't seeking more supervision but better planning. Devising a program that identifies and targets Pop's social and pragmatic skills. And doing this as an "expert", rather than reacting to bad behavior and asking us for help or suggestions.

3)The main problem has been lack of a communication system. This has been a big obstacle in maintaining continuity of care. The special ed teacher would send an aide to his class and she'd report that everything was fine. The regular ed teacher may or may not note anything. Or she may just report "bad behavior" with no discussion of triggers, patterns or environment. Administrative paperwork would get lost and shuffled because Pop's enrollment is unusual to them.
Husband believes that he has helped them settle this and understand their roles. He also suggested a monthly progress report from the special ed teacher, rather than the daily communication log from the regular ed teacher. This would provide documentation of her insights and plans and how effective any of this is.

In summary, special ed in this district doesn't have a procedure for kids like Pop. Kids that are both "fully disabled" and fully academically appropriate. They claim that they don't have kids like Pop and that's why they are caught off guard by our requests and lack preparation. When I say he is "fully disabled", I mean that his pervasive traits, left unattended, would prevent him from participating in a regular 2nd grade class. Sitting in a self-contained classroom would be inappropriate too.
It's not that kids like Pop don't exist. They do, some of them are kept in the self-contained classroom and some are left in regular ed. I see them. I know a teenager that presented just like Pop did. He is unable to attend high school because there was no placement for him when he was younger. We have forged this in two different states.
It pisses me off to no end that these kids are just shoved aside for years, decades and now "it's an epidemic"! !! We are going to see how this new system works and if the special ed teacher is able to do her end of it.

KimJ~ these are my fears about tomorrow's meeting.........hope that things work out for you