Second Life virtual world....addiction and/or obsession

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I have just been there recently, I am taking the computer away from my son (22) when he goes back to school.
A little background - he was obsessed with music played for 7 hrs a day, begged us to send him to Musician Institute in Hollywood (a huge expense) I was worried if he was ready to live on his own (no friends) depression.
He fell in to the computer - on his own researching the Bible vs. Koran, needless to say, he thought he figured out the book of revelations, and scared himself into having a emotional breakdown that lasted a week - we live in Tucson Az and tried and couldnt get in touch with him, had to drive out there in the middle of the night to bring him home. Luckly the school will let him take his fiinals to finish his first semester, I hope to get him help before I send him out there again in April. But next time no computer he can use the ones in the classroom.
Up all night on the computer obsessing not eating, that has to be stopped. I would suggest limit time on computers.

I need help with this!

Reading this discussion is very strange. It's like hearing conversations between my son and my husband and me. My son is 24 but wasn't diagnosed until he was 20. All the symptons were there, but we didn't have the name to put to the problems he was experiencing. Struggles with the computer (and gaming, videos, role-laying, you name it) have been part of the landscape of our lives since he was very young. The computer has been his relief valve for life stresses -- and in return it has become his life. We have fought to keep this thing from taking over his mind but have lost. As he became older, it has been increasingly difficult to tell him what he can and cannot do. At this point, he can't even go to college (he lost scholarships and flunked classes because of his computer addictions) because every school has multiple computer labs, and starting last year, the one he attends stays open 24-7. Can you imagine someone sitting at a computer immersed in games, anime, chat, porn and what have you for literally days on end without breaks for the bathroom or to eat and drink? I don't know anyone who has these problems, but it sounds like they are more common than I would have believed with Asperger's.

We are heartbroken that our son cannot seem to finish his degree just so he can devote unrestricted time to his internet use. He says staying at home is like being in prison -but his behavior online got so outrageous that we couldn't condone it anymore even in so-called timed sessions. He used to play the trumpet, competed in math tournaments and trivia competitions, read all of kinds of books, was interested in history and became an Eagle Scout. He has a few good friends, but they won't have much to do with him when he is in this mode - and the computer addiction is the only thing he lives for.

Our son isn't happy. He says he does this to escape anxiety and avoid "real life" - it just numbs him to reality and his intense feelings. Counseling has helped him with self-awareness, but not with the skills to deal with the problems. When I read about addictions of all types, the solution seems to be to be able to tap into one's emotions and start dealing with stress and whatever trips you up in more productive and healthy ways. That seems to be the catch-22 of our life -- how to deal with the problems when that is the problem. with being Aspie. Not well said, but I wonder what will become of my sweet kid who isn't progressing towards independence, and may wind up in jail someday for something he can't emotionally control. I feel like I am losing him to the cyberworld - the dark side that is so compelling and stimulating. Nothing in the real world can even compare to the intensity that these experiences can have for him. I am looking for hope - someone with Asperger's who has overcome this -- but I am still new to the realities of this disorder. As far as computer abuse, we've been there - we tried to control it, but now that our son is an adult, the built-in structure, activities and social mileau of his youth have disappeared and he doesn't seem capable of navigating life in a good way, and he won't listen to us or even try to work on school or a job anymore. The outside world is not able to protect him from himself, and neither are we. We have run out of solutions and will have to let him decide when his life is bad enough he will try to change it (again). Unfortunately, his track record with longterm effort is not good.

Good luck to the parents of kids with this problems. My husband and I often wish our son had been born 60 years ago - before computers were a fact of life so he could have a chance at life. Iam sure he would have found some other addictive interest, but at this point, I don't know what is worse that where he is at. And when the school district or any educrat starts sounding the trumpet for a laptop for every kid, I tell people that they might just as well give them crack because it is that bad for some people. (Read about behavioral addictions and brain chemistry.)

For my first post, this is pretty depressing, but I am grieving for my kid who is lost and am trying to detach. Life for parents is not an easy road. The best path to helping him now is letting go, but it is hard watching the depths to which he will go. I won't even talk to family or friends about the filth he is doing because it is so shameful. We feel very alone and very sad.


NWMOM

Gosh you sound like me, I hope there is a way of pulling them from the brink, my son is still "sneaking" on the computer but he knows he's not allowed, He is at home now and we shut down the internet at night (disconnect), a community college is a good idea , they cant stay there all night without me knowing. If it come to it I'll have take the car keys, and the rest of the family has to go to starbucks to use the internet so be it.

I feel one of the things to do is get outside, hiking as a family, skiing, movement of some kind, and make them do physical work around the house, I think if they live at home they still have rules, if not its move out time, learn to live on your own with a job (that's usually a threat that makes my son come around) .

Best of Luck and Prayers

Pam