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Whether to tell others or not?

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BazzaMcKenzie
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18 Oct 2007, 6:02 pm

Climber wrote:
Annie,

I guess I am the odd man out here. I think you should make your son's Asperger's common knowledge for two main reasons:

1. We only hide the things we are ashamed of. The stigma will come from this, not from people knowing.

2. When people don't know that your son is an Aspie, they will think his differences are a choice he's made. That will make people dislike him. When they learn that it is because of brain chemistry, it becomes a condition, not a choice.

We talk about my son's Asperger's in the same manner we would if he were a diabetic. Everybody knows. When he doesn't follow normal social conventions, most people understand. Otherwise, they'd blame him.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

I note you don't have AS or a PDD yourself. I think it depends on the level of disorder. Is it evident as a social awkwardness or is it a significant and severe disability? (rhetoric question, I'm not interested in the answer). Unless its severe enough to be a very real and significant problem, I think its better to not have a label and to tell and keep telling and reinforcing to someone from an early age their brain is disordered and you are not and never will be "normal". Its not the same as a illness like diabetes.



jaydog
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18 Oct 2007, 7:29 pm

hey i'm not a parent, but i'm an adult whos 27 with aspergers, and would like to comment on this issue, i wouldnt tell people that your child has aspergers or autism, but perhaps a learning disability, unless it's one (close family) and or the school teachers, your childs doctor etc. those who are getting the diagnoses are lucky, cause when i was in school, aspergers/ autism really didnt exist. and i went though school, life and even jobs for 4+ yrs before i finally had a major melt down at outside of work (at kfc had a seizure) my first in 20+ years, i was during this time working graveyard, sh***y hours. alot of people dont understand but the high functioning autism/aspergers comes with ocd, add, anxiety/ptsd, etc. by the time you turn adult. so i suggest to all parents, if they are being bullied, take them out of school, do home schooling or something. also they most likely can will at some point get on ssd too. it may take 4-5 yrs after school, but they will have a major melt down sooner or later, which did almost get me to lose my job as it is. due to calling in sick to much...