OMG Autism Is SO Horrible, Never Speak of It!

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For years, I thought any problems were because I was "too stupid", "too lazy" and "too hopeless". Having an official diagnosis means I can begin to challenge those ideas - still got a long way to go but have made a start.

I agree, always tell the child the truth at a level they can understand. Z is comfortable with his dx. He says it helps him understand why NTs are so wierd.

Your mother is just going to have to learn to live with the facts, denying them won't change them!

I've lived most of my life with AS (and I'm not young). The kid (thank God) doesn't have a life-threatening disease. Wait until she a little older, and then explain it calmly. Some people with AS are, by the way, brilliant. It goes with the condition. Some of us are just average.

Don't get discouraged yourself. Do something to ensure you survive with your sanity. You're not alone. When I was growing up, they didn't have meds for it, and I came this close (holding two fingers very close together) to being shipped off to an institution. My parents put a stop to that right quick.

You might just have a gifted child there. Treat her as one. And won't your parents be proud of their grand-daughter if she turns out to contribute something major to society? That's the way you HAVE to think of it.

Sorry about my cat comment. I'm a cat person.

Good luck.
Btdt

Information helps, ignorance hurts. This should absolutely be an open discussion. I was not diagnosed until I reached adulthood, and- had I known what the issue was as early as possible, I would have avoided many, many ugly experiences. I would have greatly benefited from knowing WHY I can't "just fit in" and "act normal". I probably wouldn't have forced the issue upon myself (of trying to fit in), making the situation worse. More likely, instead of doing something futile and pointless, I would have instead put all my energy into constructive endeavors that would ultimately pay off.

When the subject is brought up with your children, just tell them that there is NOTHING wrong with them! My parents told me recently, I don't have a disease. I have something about the way my mind works that makes me unique and special, and that it can actually be a real edge in life. That was the best advice anyone has ever given me, because before (even before I was diagnosed) all I did was fixate on "something being wrong with me".

Honesty is the best policy. Adults assume that children are incompetent. I'm constantly told how good I am around children, and how well-behaved they are around me. I know why. Because I don't patronize them and when they ask me a question, I tell them the truth. Parents would have (in my opinion) much better relationships with their kids if they would have better communication, and not treat their children like feeble-minded sheep and hide information. Kids are a lot more perceptive than adults believe, and I've noticed- smarter.

TELL HER
I was told-well it was found out when I was 12
after a hellish child hood and then I had an even worse teenage years
(and no one cares)
but you must tell her-ASAP
it will do wonders in the long run beleive me