I just need to vent.

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Thanks!

Surely a nice warm hoodie would be enough? The main thing is that his feet are warm and maybe his hands.

It's not uncommon for Aspies to have more tolerance to cold than most other people.

Where I work, people are still wearing cardigans at times when I feel hot.

If he's 13 and so tall and with a deep voice, this lad is physically a man but still a child age-wise and this is probably quite galling to him, hence the stubbornnes about what he sees as "fussing".

I donno...I come from a short family lol

Living in Queensland I've NEVER worn (or even owned) gloves, scarf or a woollen hat! Therefore I have absolutely no advice to give you at all.

Just to let you know my fingers were in my ears so I couldn't hear you say they become more rigid as they get older. My 9 year old's psychologist is particularly impressed with the rigidity of his thinking

Here's a big hug ........... *hug*

My 9 year old left his 'blankie' at my Mum's a couple of weeks ago. The tears!! ! The sleepless nights without blankie!! ! We've got blankie back now so everything is okay.

When do they grow out of their blankie???

I could tell you a few good stories about the time blankie got lost over the years. Only another parent of an aspie would understand. But I'll stop rambling now!

Helen

First: poor you!
I live in Denmark, and have the same problems with my son. Compromise seems to help, and the ideas above seem great.
It was important to buy gloves (and a jacet) my son was comfotable in, that were easy to get on, and that let him use his fingers as much as possible, as the lack of dexterity ( ) frustrated him. I only try to get gloves/jacket on him if it is really really cold.
In desperation, I have tried being very "rational" and a little cruel; "you will be able to play in the snow for hours if you dress right. Last time you didn't wear gloves you COULDN'T FEEL YOUR HANDS, SO YOU COULDN'T HOLD THE SLED, AND WE HAD TO GO HOME."
Also "Hands that get too cold can get frostbitten. Frostbitten hands can die. Then the hands can go black and smell rotten and they might have to amputate fingers." This seemed to have some intellectual effect on my son.

last winter i got a phone call from son's school wanting to know if we were having financial problems........it seems that because son never came in wearing a winter jacket, the school assumed that we couldn't afford one....
had to explain to them that although son had 4 jackets, he refused to wear them because he wasn't cold. the compromise we came up with was that he would have to wear a jacket to school. ( son is 14 btw)

I think this might be a simple matter of, Autism + being 13 years old, going through puberty & having raging hormones. Puberty is hard enough for a NT, he might be doing all this to enact out his frustration from dealing with puberty. Alot like how NT teenagers get rebellious.

Ster, I think it was wrong of your school to make an assumption like that. I don't recall why, but when I was younger I got this idea that the school thought I'd be better off with another family. So I was terriffied of going to school and never returning home. Teachers need to realize that kids DO pick up on these things, and that children CAN feel fear and terror at being powerless towards those in authority.

I'm saying this because, what happened with the school assuming you couldn't afford a coat for your son. It's not a much more than a quick hop and a jump from there, for someone who's a student to assume the school might think they're poor, and take them away. Your son may be completely oblivious to this, I really don't know. I'm just saying, it does alot of damage when a school terrorizes a student by making presumptions about their home life, and giving them a sense that they might be taken away.

My childs mother has been wearing thin summer shoes (moccasines) without socks in -30 and never felt cold on her feet. But hip and torso she had a very thick feather insulated jacket on.

All temperatures are in celsius degrees. Otherwise their lungs would have frozen

I myself has so thin underlying fat layer, because I am long and skinny (and eats like a horse, so I normaly make my lunch on buffé style places when eating out, because nobody notices if I eat three plates of food)

My daughter is not skinny, but not overweight either and very active and she's like me. She can cuddle in under two blankets with feather bolstered socks so you have to dig her out in the morning. If you find her among all blankets (or is it upholstry? You have a thick blanket in a box sheet) and can shake teeth like maraccas at -1.

My two male kids though would happily be running around all winter along with bare feet in rubber boots only. The colder it gets, the warmer they get. They've been out with me on new years eve to light some firecrackers (quiet ones, we have dogs around) for about one hour with -34 outside and my chins where frozen after that and they just got inside afterwards. Asked my ex to feel on their cheeks and limbs, and she just sighed that they where just fine. As usual. And they have both my body structure. Long, and skinny.

I don't know what's causing this, because both schools my kids is attending and kindergarten wondered why they always had their gloves in the backpack instead of on them. I asked them "Shaked hands after he's made snowballs?" and the answer the day after that they felt it like putting their hands on a burning element. Same on their feet.

I don't know what causes this. I have to use very good shoes. So does my daughter. And my daughter and I are realy "freezies". But not my boys neither my ex.

This was a fun question!

Edit: Is the correct word, rubber boots? You use them in farming and on the sea...
Edit: Btw, Katrine, I'm north of you so don't complain about Danish weather .-)

Laurie:

They'll probably get better as they get older. Also Freezing ones rear end off tends to teach lessons much more quickly than you're stressing about it.

Look to your own sanity, my friend. I just went through the whole thing (kid reached 18 and we haven't killed him). Only way he learns things is to do it wrong the first time. So long as it doesn't KILL him, what's the harm?

Consider yourself hugged. You'll be fine. have a soothing cup of tea...with a little something in it. You'll feel better. Actually coffee with Irish cream is dandy.....I can only have one, because I'm AS and I take meds....but believe me, it helps. Consider yourself lucky that one of the kids is not female. There seems to be a special hatred that develops between mothers and daughters from 15 to about 25. Then they apologize "was I like that? Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, mom."

Btdt

Thanks to all! I had a quiet weekend without my 2 middle sons, so all of the badgering and rigid behaviour was at my ex-husband's house. It is amazing how much I can get done with only the 2 mellower Aspies at home. That sounds funny, only 2. I remember when I didn't know how I was going to deal with just one.

I believe the answer to the coat issue may be solved. My mom found a hoodie that is lined with fleece and has Thinsulate inside. It looks just like his other hoodies but is a little heavier. It's got a cold rating of -15C so it should be alright. I drive them if it is colder than that. I told my oldest son to say that it is really cool and he wishes he had one. If Kid#3 thinks his oldest brother likes it, he'll wear it.

Smelena, I know all about blankies! My Kid#2 and lil' girl both have one. Kid#2's is in a drawer now but when he was younger, that thing went everywhere with him. I had to sneak it away in the night to wash it, and then he would freak out because it didn't smell like he wanted it to (stinky). He would cry and cry.

Lil' girl has hers with her at all times at home. She knows she can't take it to school but she has tried to sneak it into her backpack. When she spent a night at my mother-in-laws I warned them that the blankie could not be left behind. They forgot it and had to drive the half an hour to get it and bring it home because I wasn't listening to the crying. I figure I've never seen anyone graduate from highschool carrying a blankie so it doesn't hurt to let them have it.

BTDT: My mother reminded me about a certain teenage girl that wore high heels and skirts to school and then walked the 8 blocks home in a foot of snow. Boots weren't cool. She claimed she didn't get cold, either. Apparently, not much changes down through the generations.
And I'm going to hang onto that hug for 5 years from now when my lil' girl turns 12 and starts. Actually, she already has the "Mom, you're a moron" look down pat. I'm mentally preparing myself now.

Swextal: The correct word is rubber boots. And it seems young people just don't feel the cold like us old parents. I used to be able to ski all day with just a head band over my ears and thin gloves. I wore just a sweater (jumper) under my stretchy ski pants. Now I have to wear ear muffs and thick gloves, a scarf and a winter coat.